“Wait. Hold up. I’m confused.” Daisy held up a hand and frowned. “You said you slept with Steven.”
“Yeah…”
“But you just said he got you off, and sent you to bed alone.” Daisy cocked her head. “Which is it?”
Lauren fidgeted with the lid of the coffee, not sure how much she should say. To talk about what she and Steven had shared felt…wrong.
He was more than a story.
“After I went to bed, I came out to get some water. He was still awake and…watching TV. That’s when we slept together.”
Daisy blinked at her. “You’re leaving out something.”
“Lots of things,” Lauren agreed. “But like I said, with Steven it was different. I don’t want to tell you all the things we did. It’s private.”
“Oh my God,” Daisy said, leaning back against the blue couch pillow. “You suck. Throw a girl a bone, man.”
Lauren laughed. “I can’t.”
“Fine. Tell me this, though.” Daisy pointed at her. “Do you want it to happen again?”
“It doesn’t matter if I do or don’t. It won’t happen again. Steven made it very clear it was a one-night thing, and even if he hadn’t, I’d know. It’s what he does.”
“But what if he’s looking for something different from you?” Daisy asked, her voice quiet.
Lauren turned away so her friend wouldn’t see the stupidly hopeful look that was probably on her face. “His feelings for me haven’t changed at all after what we did. Neither have mine.”
“That doesn’t mean much at all,” Daisy muttered.
“What?”
“Nothing,” she said quickly, smiling.
“It’s true,” Lauren said defensively. “I feel the same.”
“I don’t doubt that. I just don’t think you truly examined those feelings, or what they mean. And neither has he. He’s a dude.” Daisy sighed. “So what now? You pretend you didn’t see how big his dick is and smile as he brings home woman after woman, all the while pretending like it doesn’t hurt you when it does?”
Lauren choked on her coffee. When she could breathe again, she glowered at Daisy. “Pretty much.”
“That’s not going to happen,” Daisy said, her tone speculative and her forehead wrinkled.
“Why not? We’re adults. It happened, it was fun.” Lauren lifted a shoulder. “And now it won’t happen again. We go back to being platonic friends. Easy peasy.”
Daisy snorted. “You, my dear, are crazy. No one does that.”
“We will.” Lauren lifted her chin. “I refuse to lose him. We screwed for one night. No big deal. I know him, and he’s not looking to make this into something more. That’s not his style. And I won’t try to make it be. I won’t try to change him.”
Even if she wished, deep down, that for her he would change. That he’d think she was worth a real try at a relationship, even though in the end…
It would probably fail.
“But what if he did?” Daisy asked quietly, echoing her thought with crystal clear precision that was almost scary.
Lauren hesitated. The idea of trying for something real with him was…terrifying. Not because he would break her heart—which he very well might—but the idea of losing him was not something she was willing to consider.
Lots of friends had fleeting sexual relationships.
Not many exes remained friends.
“I have no idea,” she answered honestly. “But luckily we were very honest with each other, and I’m okay with just the one time. So is he.”
“Yeah, we’ll see about that,” Daisy muttered.
No. They wouldn’t. And for some reason, that made her heart ache. “Enough about me,” Lauren said, waving a hand. “Didn’t you have a date last night?”
“No. My mom set me up on a date last night. I didn’t go.”
Lauren frowned, her heartache forgotten for Daisy’s. “Why not?”
“You know why not.” Daisy frowned. “Stop trying to take this off of you and Steven and the possibility of you two being a real couple. It’s not going to work.”
Lauren rolled her eyes like the mere idea was ludicrous. But, really, was it? Despite her words, and her worries, the idea of him wanting to be with her? To, like, love her and hold her close for the rest of his life? It made her heart race, and her knees shake, and her mind whirl, and her palms sweat, and…it didn’t feel so crazy after all.
Scary, sure.
But not crazy.
“And that’s what pissed me off the most, I think.” Steven paced back and forth in front of Holt, who wore Doctor Who sweats, his glasses, and an inside-out black T-shirt. “She’s all ‘that was fun, let’s go back to how things were,’ and all I can think about is doing it again. Even though I shouldn’t.”