Her heart sped up. He studied her with a heat that could only be explained in one way. He quickly shook it off and gave her the same tender smile he always did, the one that said he thought of her as a sister, or a bro, and nothing more. “Funny, so do you.”
“I don’t date at all. I fuck.”
She bit down on her tongue. “I do that, too. Just more than once with the same guy. You should try it sometime.”
For a second, it looked like he might say something meaningful. Like admit that the reason he didn’t date was that he was scared to open himself up like that, or that he didn’t think he deserved love and commitment. But then he grinned, and the somberness in his eyes gave way to laughter. “Try fucking a guy? Well, they say you never know till you give it a good old college try…but I’ll pass. I like chicks, not dicks.”
“That’s not what I meant,” she said, frowning.
“What do you want me to say? That I’ll go out and fall in love with some girl?” He gritted his teeth so hard there was a grinding sound. “I tried that once already, with Rachel, and it didn’t work out so well.”
She nodded. “Yeah. She cheated on you. That doesn’t mean every other woman out there will, too.”
“Funny, considering most of your asshole boyfriends have.”
Sucking in a breath, she blinked. “That was harsh.”
“Shit. I’m sorry.” He blew out a breath and met her eyes. “I didn’t mean to say that.”
“Yeah. You did.” She lifted a shoulder. “And it’s true. Ever since the day I was born, guys love to leave me, or cheat on me, or both. History doesn’t lie.”
“The only way I’d walk away from you was if they carried me away in a coffin,” he said, his voice low. “I would never leave you.”
She couldn’t tell if he was saying he’d never leave her—as a friend—or if he was insinuating she should give him a chance to be more. When he lowered his hand from her cheek, she caught it, holding on tight. And nothing short of a tornado whipping through her kitchen would make her let go. “Steven…”
He swallowed hard, and his fingers flexed in hers, that heat still burning behind those warm hazel depths of his. “Yeah?”
Sucking in a deep breath, she rested her hand on his heart. It raced beneath her palm, speeding up even more when she locked gazes with him. There it was again. The heat she’d just sworn she would never see in his eyes. “You’re everything to me. And I…I want…”
Instead of finishing her sentence, she went with it.
She let the booze guide her actions.
Lifting up on her tiptoes, she pressed her lips to his. And it felt as amazing as she always thought it would. The second their mouths touched, it was like she finally made the right choice, which was insane. She knew herself, and Steven. And yet…
It felt right.
For a second, his mouth pressed back against hers, and his grip on her tightened. He groaned and took over the kiss, closing his arms around her tightly. This was it. The moment she’d been waiting for. The man she’d been waiting for. Steven Thomas.
A moan escaped her, and he froze, his mouth still glued to hers. With a harsh movement, he jerked back, a scowl marring his face, and his mouth pressed tightly into a line. “What the fuck, Lauren?”
Pressing her hand to her mouth, she stared back at him.
And had no clue what to say.
Chapter Five
Steven had no damn clue what the hell was going on, but she didn’t really mean that kiss. Throughout all the years they’d shared as friends, all the drinks they’d drunk together, and the numerous times they’d shared a bed—she’d never once done that.
She was drunk, upset about something she refused to dig into, and doing things she hadn’t fully thought through. Doing anything to forget whatever it was that upset her in the first place. With any other girl, in any other place, he could be her guy.
Pressing her fingers to her mouth, she shook her head quickly. Those tiny little pajamas she always wore to bed taunted him more than they had before the kiss, and he’d never been so damn aware of how much skin those shorts left bare on her legs before now. “I’m sorry. I thought…I…”
When she didn’t finish, he crossed his arms. “You thought you could use me to forget whatever you’re upset about?”
“N-No. It’s just I’m alone, and you’re alone…and it’s quiet. So quiet. And when you looked at me like you were thinking about—”
A horrible thought occurred to him. One that made him sick with anger and…and…fuck it, he might as well admit it. Jealousy. So much damn jealousy he might as well turn green and start smashing shit with his fist. “Jesus, Lauren. Is this about Brian? Do you miss him so badly you had to use me to fill a void?”