“I wish it were that simple.” It could be, but I feel as if I’d be giving in too easily. I have no doubt that she knows he’s here. If his mother knows, she knows. And my intuition tells me there’s more to this phone call than the machine, but I can’t be sure.
Mrs. Kannan is known for her interfering. If I let my guard drop even a millimeter, she’ll pounce.
A long pause goes by before she says anything. “I’ve been around a long time, honey. Long enough to know when two people are bein’ just plain stupid. Forgiving someone isn’t a surrender, it’s a gift. One that not only saves the other person, but also yourself. I could sit here and lead you around in circles.” She sighs. “But I won’t this time. Not for something so important. Wyatt screwed up. Lord knows that. He knows that more than anyone. I don’t know that I have ever seen him as devastated as I did the day you left.”
“Mrs.—” I start.
“Listen, darlin’. I’ve been married a long time, and more than once, one of us was ready to walk out that door. It was a choice to forgive the other person for whatever hurtful things we said or did. I could’ve left him. Hell, I probably should’ve.” She laughs. “I just know that no matter how bleak a situation looks, it doesn’t mean that y’all can’t find your way back to each other.”
“And what if we’re too lost? What if I’m too scared and hurt to trust him again?”
“We’re not perfect people, honey. We’re human and we make mistakes. He’s owning that right now. He’s showing you who he is and what’s in his heart.”
I thought I knew what was in his heart. I thought it was me. Then our life went down a very different path, and we ended up with a fissure dividing the road with him on one side and me on the other. Grief drove us apart. It didn’t have to, though. We each made choices that brought us to this juncture.
“I love him,” I admit. “I never stopped loving him, but he hurt me so much.”
“Love is the strongest and most beautiful thing we can bestow on another person. Have mercy in your heart, Angie. Be gracious enough to see that he wasn’t hurting you because he didn’t love you, sugar. He was hurting himself because he didn’t think he was worthy of your love. You think about that, and we’ll talk soon. Take care now.” She disconnects before I can say another word.
I walk to the window and look at him. Are we being stupid or do we have the ability to find a way back to what we were?
After my call with Mrs. Kannan, I start seeing things in a new light. Each time Wyatt talks to me, I try to really hear him and not just listen to the words.
We have dinner together, and then he kisses me on the cheek and goes back to his apartment. I can’t stop thinking about what she said. Thinking about how I can find a way to fully forgive him.
I’m getting ready for bed when my phone dings.
Wyatt: Can I borrow some salt?
I look at the text, unsure if I should respond. But I lean back against the headboard, which is against the wall that touches his apartment. He’s right there on the other side. It’s crazy that right now he’s this close and yet he’s so far.
Me: I think you’re supposed to ask for sugar.
Wyatt: Then let me borrow some of that, too.
He’s a mess. A very cute mess. I talked to Presley today, and she told me about their talk. I was surprised she went off, but she also said she’d never seen him like that. I feel like I’m not only resisting Wyatt, I’m resisting the entire town of Bell Buckle.
Me: It’s late.
Wyatt: It is, but I really need that salt.
Me: What the hell do you need salt for at eleven o’clock at night?
Wyatt: I’m making something.
This could go on forever, but I’m actually having fun. Talking to him like this reminds me of our time together. The bickering, the back and forth, it made us who we were.
Me: I’m all out of salt.
Wyatt: Then I have to ask you something about my jackass brother and Presley’s wedding. I figure since we’re both going, maybe we should make arrangements.
Me: The wedding is in a few months. You’ll be gone by then.
Wyatt: Not unless you’re going with me.
Me: You’re not going to stop this until you see me tonight, are you?
Wyatt: Not likely.
I figured as much. I have to give him credit for persistence.
Me: You’re a pain in my ass.
Wyatt: Open the door, baby.
I stare at the screen for a minute. My legs don’t seem to move. I can’t explain it, but I feel like opening or not opening this door is a decision about something that I won’t be able to undo.