Say You Want Me(85)
What am I going to do about him?
It’s really hard when I still love him. That’s never changed. I just couldn’t stay there and be his punching bag. I don’t doubt that, in his twisted mind, he convinced himself that pushing me away was the right thing to do. But it wasn’t.
He didn’t understand what he was doing only caused me more anguish. It wasn’t what I wanted, and I think I was pretty damn clear when I told him otherwise.
“I made a new cupcake flavor,” Meghan, our baker, tells me.
“Great.” I keep my gaze on him. “I’m sure it’s delicious.”
“I could use another opinion. Do you think our new squatter will try?”
I twist to see if I heard her correctly and find her looking at Wyatt through the window. “No, he’s not really here.”
“Well, I see him, and the employees can’t help but to notice him.” Meghan looks to me and sighs. “He’s really hot, Ang.”
“And an idiot.”
“Most men are,” she retorts. “Well, I’m going to find out what he thinks. I’m sure he’s lonely sitting out there all day by himself.”
He’s not lonely. He has a constant flow of females attending to him, but he smiles politely and then looks for me. It’s frustrating the heck out of me. Once again, I’m falling victim to his charms.
Who can blame me? Coffee each morning, food, his attention, and the man moved everything he owned to a freaking apartment in Philadelphia that I know is not cheap.
“Is it a baker thing?” I wonder aloud. “Do you all meddle for a living?”
She laughs as she walks out the door.
Meghan heads over to Wyatt and sits beside him. She giggles, and he smiles as she hands him the cupcake. Of course she’s unable to resist him.
He’s not even close to the man I walked away from. The man sitting at that table is the Wyatt I fell in love with.
“You’re a fool,” Erin says from behind me. Why is everyone sneaking up on me today? Oh, yeah. It’s because I’m distracted by a cowboy I’m trying desperately to ignore, that’s why.
“Seems to be the consensus.”
“He doesn’t seem to be leaving any time soon.”
She’s right. He has no intention of going away. “That’s what I’m afraid of.” I turn and lean against the wall.
Erin shakes her head. “I won’t tell you what to do, but I will say that I’ve never seen a guy give up his whole life for a girl he only liked.”
“Yeah,” I agree. “I know that. I can’t let go of some of the things he said.”
“Well, I don’t know all the details, but he clearly loves you. I can only imagine how badly you both were struggling in the face of unimaginable grief. I’m not saying that gives him a free pass, but maybe a little forgiveness?”
“You don’t even know him!” I say with exasperation.
Sure he’s here and clearly being sweet, and I’m not too foolish to see that. However, that doesn’t erase the way he made me feel. Then again, he was struggling, and not just with our relationship. He was getting hit from every angle.
“I don’t have to know him to see how much he loves you.”
“Shut up.” I grin at her.
“How long do you plan to make him suffer?”
“I think he can wait it out a bit more.”
She nods. “Definitely make him feel the pain for a bit longer, just don’t let it go on too long or one of your employees will scoop him up and ride off on that horse of his into the sunset.”
Yeah, that’s definitely not going to happen.
They continue to talk and my phone rings. “Hey, Mrs. Kannan.”
“Hi, sugar. I hope I’m not bothering you.”
I walk away from the window and head toward the back of the store. “Of course not. How are you?”
“Oh, I’m just fine. I got that fancy coffee maker and I can’t figure out how to turn the dang thing on! It’s got so many buttons and different spouts. What ever happened to a good ole cup of Folgers?”
I can’t stop the smile that forms. I can picture her tossing her hands in the air as she walks around. I miss her something fierce. I miss them all.
“I’m sure it came with a manual.”
“Sugar, that book was a hundred pages long. I’ll be dead before I figure out how to actually make a mocha whatever it is you call it.”
“Macchiato.”
“Whatever,” she says with exasperation, and I giggle.
“Don’t you laugh at me now. I’m going to need you to get your tiny butt back here and teach me how to use this contraption.”