Say You Want Me(10)

“I know.” She finally turns her eyes to mine. “I know you’re a good guy, but I don’t really know you.”

“Just like I don’t really know much about you, other than you really like when I did that thing with my teeth—”

She slaps my arm with her free hand. “Shut your face.”

“I’m saying we both have a lot to learn about each other. But seein’ as we’re about to spend the rest of our lives raisin’ a kid. I think we should spend the time before that happens—together?” I ask it as a question, but the truth is that I’ll be around for this baby.

I’m not letting my child grow up without a daddy. I want to teach him how to hunt, farm, ride a horse, and a lot of manly things. If it’s a girl, she’ll be a princess, and I’ll make sure to teach her what evil little shits boys are. I deserve that chance. I won’t let her take our kid up north where I can’t be part of his or her life. It ain’t fair, and it ain’t happening . . . whether she wants it or not.





Angie

“I DON’T THINK IT’S SUCH a bad idea to move here,” Presley says as she works in the kitchen. Wyatt and Zach left to go handle some work on the ranch, so since we’re alone, Pres has taken this opportunity to try to sell me on all the ideas she’s concocted in the last few hours.

“Do you know me at all? Do I look like the kind of girl who can wake up on a farm? I don’t like livestock. I don’t do dirt. I’ll die out here because a coyote will eat me! I’m a city girl. I can’t handle the lack of shopping, restaurants, and overall—life here.”

I’ve always lived downtown. There’s not one thing that I can say I dislike about how I live. I have everything I could want.

“You’d have us,” she says while keeping her eyes down.

“Ohhh no you don’t.” I see the game she’s playing. Pres didn’t want to leave Pennsylvania, but she had no choice. I do. I don’t have to live here. I can afford my life fine on my own. Will it suck? Yup. But I can manage. Coming down here would be more of an upheaval than having a baby in Philly. “You can’t use this to get what you want.”

She looks up as she puts the knife on the counter. “I’m not using anything. Look,” her features soften, “you’re up there all alone. Your parents are gone. Your brothers are gone. I’m gone. I want to know my niece or nephew. There’s so much here that would make it easier for you, Ang. You’d have an entire support system. I think you’re being stubborn.”

“I am not!” Well, I kind of am. I know she’s partially right, but it feels like I’m losing everything. “I can’t move here. I can’t give up everything because Wyatt lives here and I live there. What about the bakery? What about my life, Pres? I feel like I’m screwed either way.”

“You have Erin at the bakery. She’s more than capable of handling things for a bit. It was the whole damn reason you brought her on,” Presley throws back at me. “And as for your life? Babe, it’s going to be all about the baby. You’ll see. It’s the most rewarding job you’ll ever have.”

I groan. “I’m not ready for all this. I didn’t want kids. I mean, I did in theory, but the more years that passed, the more okay I was with not having them. Now I’m having a baby with a guy who lives like four states away. It sucks. It’s not ideal at all.”

She doesn’t get it. I don’t expect her to. I don’t know what the right thing to do is. All I know is that I’m truly pregnant and that things are going to change drastically after the little nugget gets here.

Presley pauses and then her face brightens. “What if you stayed until the baby came? Or maybe until the wedding and then see how you feel?”

“I need a drink,” I grumble. “But I can’t have one! I already hate being pregnant.”

She chuckles and goes back to cooking. “You have no idea, my friend.”

“You can shut up now.”

“Whatever you want.” Presley grins and busies herself.

We sit in comfortable silence. I give myself a few minutes to calm down and start to make a list of pros and cons. I can’t even believe I’m even considering this. I love Bell Buckle—in theory. It’s peaceful, full of heritage and beautiful homes. There’s so much history that I don’t even have to look to find it. It’s just not my home and I can find plenty of history in Philly. Here, I can’t find a quick Chinese food place or grab a cheesesteak from Geno’s. I’ll have to cook. My coming here also means losing the bakery. It means dropping the one thing that I’ve really done on my own.