“I’m sorry, man. I didn’t know it was that bad. You didn’t have the tension of a man who wasn’t getting laid.”
“That’s because I was. I hated myself for it, but I hated her more. She stuck around because she wanted my money. Sally admitted that she didn’t love me and she hadn’t cared for me for years. It seems I keep getting married and not consummating it.”
“I can’t believe Candy bought your story and she still wanted to be with you.”
“Yes, she said that it was something about me that she was crushing on and that we didn’t need to have sex because of my amazing personality.”
“Personality, my ass. More like crushing on your bankroll, I bet,” I scoffed.
“Exactly, so I played along, and I pretended to be head over heels in love with her. She tried to get me drunk and off to the chapel where they had it already set up. That’s when I called you. She was put out that I wanted to wait until the weekend. I knew she was afraid you’d come and try to stop me, so she pressured me into it that night. After that, I didn’t take any drink or food from her.”
“You’re a fucking fool, Ted. She could’ve killed you!” I shouted at him.
“I had back up around me the whole week. Plus, she was working every night until two days ago.”
“Still, man, you’re lucky she didn’t already end you,” I bellowed.
“It’s cool she got arrested, and she isn’t getting out, ever.”
“So what’s with the marriage thing?”
“It was not legal because she was married already, but it was also a sham. None of it was legal on paper. But listen to this—when they charged her with bigamy and informed her she wasn’t entitled to any of my money, she slipped that her fourth husband was dead.”
“Damn, so they nailed her?”
“Not yet, but charges are being laid for the death of her first two husbands. They exhumed their bodies and found traces of Ethylene Glycol crystals in their remains. She poisoned them for their life insurance. With the first guy, she fucked up because she wasn’t even his beneficiary, but she learned from the last time. So I wasn’t due to be killed for a while,” he illuminated me.
“Wow.”
We both turned to the bathroom when we heard the door open. She better be dressed, or I was going to spank her ass. She was lucky. Angel was wearing a pair of jeans and a cartoon tee shirt. Her feet were still bare, hair up in a towel. She looked as hot dressed as she did naked, but I didn’t have a reason to snap.
“Angel, you remember my brother, Ted.”
“Yeah, we talked last night,” she admitted like I already was aware of that. Then I remembered they attended the comedy special.
“When? At the theatre?” I asked jealously.
“Yeah, but after I got her call, I came up to look for her. She was getting ready to go back to your room when I got to her door. You were out cold. I actually checked your pulse twice last night,” Ted added, clearly seeing the angry, jealous expression on my face.
“Come here,” I called to her, adding my hand for emphasis. She walked shyly to me.
“Did you have a nice shower?” I asked softly in her ear.
She blushed and said, “Yes, it was very nice.”
“Did you hear anything of our conversation?” She shook her head to say no. I was about to tell her about it when Ted added that he’d already talked to her about it last night.
Jealousy struck a chord again and I growled, “What else did you two talk about?”
“Seriously, you’re being stupid. If you hadn’t drank yourself unconscious, you would have known and participated.”
“She’s right. Besides learning that she was helping the Feds too and that you two were fuck buddies, there was nothing else.”
“Fuck buddies— that’s what you told him we are?” I thundered.
She rolled her eyes at me like I was crazy. “Dean, please. You just told me you wanted more than that this morning, and I didn’t use the words fuck buddies. I said we were seeing each other.”
“Yeah, I gave it that term. I didn’t know you two were serious. You’ve never been serious about anyone before,” Ted admitted.
“No I didn’t find anyone I wanted more than Angel here.” I pulled her onto my lap and rubbed her belly. “And we need to get married because I’m pretty sure I knocked her up.”
“Married in a rush?! What kind person does that?” Ted teased. I didn’t know he had a sense of humor. I flipped him off and turned Angel’s face to look at me.
“A man who fell in love on a flight with a Bulls fan,” I whispered in her ear.