I can see the tops of two kids' heads as they talk soothingly to a horse and brush her shiny chestnut coat. I don't know much about animals, but I do know Violet's horses are beautiful, and I admire her for sharing them with these troubled teens.
I fight the urge to plug my nose. I forgot how badly manure smells. Though it's well past morning sickness time, I get an uneasy feeling in my stomach, and I hope I can keep my lunch down long enough to talk to Karri.
I think I spot a blast of pink hair disappearing into one of the stalls toward the back of the stables, so I continue on, apprehension settling in my gut like a lead ball. I still don't know what I'm going to say to her or if she'll even listen. I pause when I hear Karri talking to one of the teens.
"I took your advice and didn't get that tattoo," a girl who doesn't sound older than sixteen says.
"What did your boyfriend say?" Karri asks.
"He was pissed. And then I told him what you told me; if he really loved me, he'd understand.
Then he broke up with me."
"What an ass." I can almost see Karri rolling her eyes.
"Good thing I didn't get his name tattooed on my back." The girl laughs. "Thanks, Karri."
"No problem." The heartfelt note of sincerity in her voice reminds me of the Karri I once knew, the Karri who talked me off the ledge in high school after my dad's rape sent me into a spiral of depression and self-loathing.
I feel weird intruding on their tender moment, and almost decide to turn around and leave, but then the stall door opens and Karri comes out clutching a bucket filled with horse-shit in one gloved hand and a shovel in the other. She's got brown gunk smeared on her forehead and neck. I can tell by the bright freckles smattering her nose and cheekbones she's not wearing any makeup, but her skin has a natural rosiness and her eyes have a healthy glow. Despite the crap blemishes, I'd say this is the best Karri has looked in a long time.
"Hey." I hold up a hand and make some sort of half-assed wave, and I suddenly feel awkward standing here in my designer jeans and shoes, attempting to have a heart-to-heart with Karri looking like this. Not that I'm bothered by her appearance, but I can tell by the way she flushes all the way to her brassy pink roots, she's embarrassed.
"I already heard from Violet I'm not in the wedding, if that's what you were going to tell me." She drops the bucket on the ground, and debris flies out and scatters at her feet. Yuk.
That queasy feeling in my stomach rolls through me in a nauseating wave. I steel my resolve. I will not lose my lunch until I've at least talked to her about Ty.
I look away from the bucket of shit and turn my focus on Karri. If I don't look at it, maybe I won't get sick. "No, that's not what I came to talk about."
She arches a brow before removing her gloves and wiping a bead of sweat off her brow. "What's up?" Her tone is a mixture of disinterest and irritation, and I wonder if she's embarrassed because of her appearance or if she really wanted to be in my bridal party. If she's pissed, she'll have to take a place in line behind all the other people determined to dump all over my wedding plans.
"My mom and I had lunch with Mrs. James today."
"How nice." Karri flashes a smile that looks more like a snarl. "She refuses to be in the same room with me."
That unsettling feeling in my gut increases, so I try my best to brush off her attitude. "My mom wanted me to give you a message."
Karri folds her arms across her chest. She's got this look in her eyes like she's an angry bull preparing for an attack. "What is it?"
"Don't give Ty up for adoption," I say on a rush of air. "She says to trust her you'll regret it later."
"Look at me." Karri laughs bitterly before waving a hand toward the bucket of shit at her feet."What do I have to offer him?"
Again, I force myself to ignore the bucket, as I center my gaze on Karri's eyes. "A mother's love. That's more than what I had when I was growing up." My heart clenches with the admission, and I resist the urge to press a hand to my stomach and hunch over as my morning sickness worsens. Gah. It feels like someone is playing jump rope with my insides. Only a few more minutes, and if I can't convince Karri to change her mind, I'm running for the nearest toilet, or bush if I can't make it to the house.
Her eyes widen. "You don't think his grandparents love him?"
I heave a sigh as I think back to my lunch with Mrs. James. She seemed to care for Ty, even though she wasn't paying much attention to him. Still, I know it isn't fair of me to judge her parenting skills after just one lunch. "I do," I answer honestly. "I just think there's room for you in his life, too, and if you cut yourself out now, you're going to regret it."