Say Forever(35)

Afterward, Andrés takes my brothers outside and teaches them how to operate the remote control helicopters we bought them. Manny cries when Gio "accidentally" knocks his helicopter into a bush. Gio cries when Manny chases after his helicopter with a plastic baseball bat.

Doc finally comes outside and tells my brothers it's time for a nap. This makes them cry even harder. I kiss them each goodbye and tell them to stay off the naughty list or else Santa will take back their presents. That seems to do the trick, as they both clam up and let Doc lead them to bed.

Even though my mom is disappointed, we have to make our goodbyes. Since the dreams started back up, Andrés does not feel comfortable spending the night anywhere but his sofa. On the way home, we make one more stop. Andrés delivers presents to James's sons. James was Andrés's best friend in the Army, and his widow's home is not too far from my mom's house. Though the boys are about my brothers' ages, their personalities are as different as night and day. They accept Andrés's presents with a polite, "Thank you, sir" and play quietly in the other room while Andrés and I visit with James's wife and her new fiancé.

We're both shocked to learn she's remarrying. I think Andrés takes it harder than he lets on, as he's unnervingly quiet during the ride back to Austin. I don't know if it's because I'm tired of Andrés's pensive mood, or else I'm just tired, but just as we reach that half-way point, I take another nap. It's past nightfall when we pull into our apartment carport. I'm so exhausted, I can hardly heave myself out of the car. I'm relieved when Andrés sees me struggling and carries me to our apartment. He lays me down in bed, kisses my forehead and tells me he's got to go finish unloading.

That's all I remember before I fall back to sleep.


***


I jump up in bed, startled at the sound of Andrés's screams coming from the other room. I toss aside my sheets and hurry to the living room, cursing as I trip over the edge of a rug, nearly falling face first onto the floor.

His screams are louder, and it sounds like he's fighting with someone, but it's so dark I can barely see.

I rub my hands across the wall and hit the switch. I spin around to see Andrés turned sideways on the sofa, punching the cushion so hard, the stuffing is coming out.

"Andrés!" I cry as I rush to his side. I jump back when he thrashes about, barely missing his arm as it swings wildly at me. "Andrés!" I cry again. "Wake up!"

He thrashes about some more, only this time, less violently. Then he stills. He groans a bit and rubs the sleep from his eyes before finally looking up at me with a dazed expression.

It's only then I breathe a sigh of relief. I hadn't realized I'd been holding my breath, waiting, worrying he wouldn't wake.

Andrés slowly sits up on his elbows, his brow creases into a heavy frown. He rubs his hand through his hair and turns his gaze toward the battered pillow cushion. He reaches for a frayed end and then twirls a bit of stuffing around his finger. Finally, he heaves a sigh before looking up at me.

The pain in his glossy eyes is enough to make my heart break.

"See why I can't sleep with you, mija?"

His shoulders cave inward, and he pulls his knees to his chest and withdraws into himself. I lean down and reach for him, but he pulls away. This can't be happening. This can't be my Andrés, my strong, confident, hero. But as I watch him withdraw further and further away from me, there' s no denying the truth. Andrés is falling apart. Guilt and self-loathing surge through me as he asks me to go back to bed. This wedding, this baby, has pushed him over the edge.





Chapter Twelve



Andrés

Cursing, I hang up with the scheduler at the VA hospital. She says Doctor Barnes is on leave and would I like to see some other shrink? Hell, no. I'm not waiting in line at some grocery store check stand for the next cashier. Do they really expect me to start over with a new doctor every time I need help? Oh, well. I guess it's for the best. Cars still need maintenance during the holidays, and I've got to train two new mechanics today.

I slip my phone into my pocket and refill my coffee before I check on Christina again. She's still sleeping. I feel bad that I woke her last night. She doesn't need the extra stress of worrying over me in her condition. Add to that the fact that my aunt and her mom are pulling her in different directions about this wedding. I've got the feeling that this wedding shit is going to get worse before it gets better. Hell, at this point, I'd be happy if Christina and I ran off to Vegas. It would be a lot less fuss and drama, plus I'd be able to get away from my job for a few days.

If only.

I hate to sound ungrateful, but I hate my job more and more each day. But what choice do I have? I need to support my new family. My mind keeps racing back to Christmas Eve when my Uncle Arturo pulled me aside and asked me to quit Cruz Automotive and go work for him. Uncle Arturo owns a popular Mexican restaurant chain in San Antonio, and he says he's expanding to catering. His only child, my cousin Marie, doesn't show any interest in working for the family. She's still set on going to law school. Arturo says he needs someone he can trust working for him. He says he can tell I'm unhappy and I'm missing my true calling.