He leaned the back of his head against the wall and closed his eyes. The steady up and down of Casper’s breathing calmed his nerves. Maybe Ethan wasn’t home yet. He could leave. No harm done. The guys wouldn’t know he’d been here. Hell, he could bury these feelings, or whatever in the hell they were.
“Are you coming in or setting up camp out here?”
Niko opened his eyes. Ethan stood in the doorway with a kitchen mitt on one hand and a spatula in the other. Niko laughed, which made the breath he’d been holding come out in a honk. “What in the hell are you doing?”
“Apparently, trying to figure out why a man is stalking my door. Hi, Casper.” Ethan waved the spatula at the dog. “I figured you’d be hungry so I made tacos, but if you’d rather sit out here for the evening, I can bring you a plate.”
Niko hung his head and smiled. “Smart-ass.”
“I like to think so. Come on, it’s ready. Scarlet took me to the store so I’ve got some goodies for us.”
Niko flattened his palm against the wall and stood. “Goodies? So, you’re all Betty Crocker and shit now?”
“I guess,” Ethan leaned back into the doorway, giving Niko and Casper room to pass. “The chef who cooked for Charles taught me a few things. She set an ice pack on the counter when she made breakfast.”
Niko turned, the statement taking him off guard. “Ice pack?”
Ethan shut the door and walked past, his gaze focused on the little kitchen area. “I guess I looked pretty bad after a session.”
Niko lost his appetite. The fucking bastard beat the shit out of Ethan and he’d taken it…for money. “That’s fucked up, Ethan. Was the money really worth it?”
When Ethan whipped around, Niko braced his hands on his hips. Ethan’s jaw twitched, eyes going dark. “We all do a lot for money, Niko. I assume you’ve done things you’re not proud of. Yes, I took shit from a guy who beat the crap out of me and paid for things I needed. Did I lose my self-respect? Yes. Did I lose who I had been before I met him? Yes. But, now, I want to do this on my own. I’m working hard to not let that happen again. If you want to judge me for what I’ve done, then you can leave.”
Niko rubbed the smooth skin on his chin. Yeah, he knew exactly what the guy was saying. He’d lost his soul more than once and, thanks to The Professor, he’d built a life to get it back. “I get it.” Feeling the tightness in his abs start to release, Ethan’s shoulders relaxed. “So, we’re starving over here. Are you going to feed us or do we have to sit outside again?”
A smile bloomed on Ethan’s handsome face. Such a baby face. His gut tightened. “You’re young.” He didn’t realize he’d blurted out the statement until it was in the air.
Ethan laughed and turned to grab two plates from the counter. “I turn twenty next week. You didn’t seem to mind my age when you had your cock in my mouth.”
Niko didn’t like the hand he’d been dealt on that one, but Ethan was right. Nineteen seemed like a kid, but next week was twenty and the four-year age difference wasn’t such a big deal. Ethan set the plates on the coffee table. Niko’s hands were hot, the burn making his fingers curl and flex. He didn’t want to eat, didn’t want to talk about anything. He needed Ethan upstairs in bed. “Now.” Unable to find the romantic words he knew Ethan probably wanted to hear, he skipped the verbal foreplay. “Upstairs.”
Ethan slid his hand down his face. Was he changing his mind? Had Niko shown his cards and now the dealer was wiping him out? For a second, he was ready to turn, hit the door, and forget this night ever happened. “Wait,” Ethan said, his pale hand latching onto Niko’s bicep. “Don’t go. I see it on your face. You’re scared. I’m here to enjoy this as much as you are. It’s been a long time for me and I’m nervous, too.”
The long lashes fell and lifted as Ethan’s pretty eyes pleaded for something, the same thing, Niko believed, that he was seeking. “Okay,” he whispered. This night was going to change every cell in his body. Like the night he ran, fear gripped his heart, but just as he’d stood tall when his mother drove away from the facility in which he’d been placed, he’d survive this, too.
Ethan slid his tender hand down the bumps and valleys of Niko’s painted arm. “I can’t wait to lick every one of these.”
Niko’s dick twitched with the thought. “I’m not going to stop you. Come here.” He twisted, pulling Ethan against his chest. Hoisting the lean body over one shoulder he loved the humpft then laughter coming from behind his head. “Who’s the boss now, skinny jeans? This ass is mine tonight.”