Saving a Legend(99)

Fiona didn’t move, not until the red and blue lights surrounded them and a kindly young officer told her she was safe now. Fiona had loved Shea utterly since she’d been born, and she would give her life to protect her if she had to.

—

Sobs wracked through her violently as she stared into the mirror in front of her. She’d escaped to the nearest bathroom in an attempt to calm herself down in private after running out of the locker room. Her hands clutched the sink’s edge as her shoulders were around her ears, doing their best to keep her from crumbling to the ground entirely.

She’d spent so much of the last three years trying to forget all about it, as if she could erase it from the past if she erased it from her memory. If she’d just been there a few minutes earlier…if she’d just been there on time…if she hadn’t been so selfish.

So many ifs.

What had happened that night was so horrible, she didn’t plan to revisit it again for anyone. Not even for Kieran. Maybe especially not for Kieran. She’d spent over a year in therapy trying to deal with what she’d done, but it was still painful to think about. Even more, it hurt to think about how Shea was still affected by it. Fiona had made sure Shea did all the therapies and treatments suggested by the social worker at the time, and it had been a lot. For at least two years, Shea had seen regular counselors and had been visited by a social worker until the state stopped providing free services.



Fiona had tried to bury it along with the pieces of herself she hated the most. Never again would she pick anything before Shea. She was going to be the best guardian possible and love Shea with everything she had. She’d be there every time the little girl woke up afraid, remembering. She was going to do her best to make her sister feel as loved and cared for as she had been when their mother was still alive. At least she was going to try.

“Fiona?”

Fiona turned her tear-streaked face to find Clare poking her head around the corner. Turning back to the sink and splashing water over her face, Fiona didn’t say anything. Her breaths came harsh and ragged as she tried to calm down.

“Nora’s been scouring the whole place looking for you,” Clare told her, gently rubbing her back in a comforting gesture.

“I know.” Fiona sniffed, patting the rest of her face dry with a paper towel Clare offered her.

She’d ditched her on purpose, not wanting to talk to anyone. Nora had begged her to tell Kieran about her past, and she hadn’t. She didn’t want to see the disappointment on her best friend’s face.

She couldn’t lose her, too.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Clare asked, hoisting herself up onto the counter.

Fiona sighed. “I wouldn’t even know where to begin.”

Clare was quiet for a moment, fidgeting with her nails before looking back over at her. “I’ve done things in my past, too, Fiona. I can’t even call what I’ve done self-defense or protecting my little sister. I was involved with a really bad guy before I moved here and met Rory.”



Fiona’s brows lifted. “I didn’t know that.”

“Yeah.” Clare nodded. “I did the same thing you did, tried to run. This family, though—they don’t let you just bail because things get tough. They’re there for you, no matter what.”

“This is different, Clare. They’re wonderful people, there’s no argument there—but people can only tolerate so much.” Fiona shook her head adamantly. “Knowing what I’ve done, that’s too much for most people to take.”

“I don’t think so. My past was always coming back to haunt me, and they never cast me out for it. My ex even tried to come get me once, tried to take me with him, but Rory saved me. His whole family saved me. Not once did they judge me for my past or my mistakes, and they’ve only wholeheartedly loved me since, just like they love you now.”

Fiona thought about what she’d heard, reminded now of the way both parents hadn’t seemed surprised by Jimmy’s admission. “Did they know?”

“Yeah, Seamus knows everything. Don’t bother ever trying to hide something from this family—they will find out.” Clare chuckled, but Fiona just blinked in surprise.

She’d never thought about telling the family what she’d done, and if she had, she certainly had never expected them to take it so well. “What did Kieran say?” Fiona finally asked, after another moment of silence.

Clare shrugged. “He defended you. Even after he found out, he never stopped defending you. Says you had a good reason to do what you did.”



“I did,” Fiona said quickly, because that really was the truth. It felt good to talk about it again finally, to be honest. It felt even better knowing he’d never doubted her. She’d hidden her past, just like he’d hidden his, and yet she’d punished him for his. She bit the inside of her cheek as she realized yet again how much she didn’t deserve him.