“Nora, what?” Her friend looked like she was going to explode.
Nora exhaled sharply and then shook her head. “I can’t keep quiet about this. It wasn’t Kieran’s joint.”
Fiona furrowed her brows. “What? What are you talking about?”
“I confiscated it off some of the older boys at the center a few hours before everything happened. I put it in my desk drawer and was going to deal with it later, but then the parole officer showed up and I got distracted,” Nora explained. “I didn’t even put two and two together that it was the same joint until later.”
“Holy shit, Nora.” Fiona put her hand over her mouth. “Why didn’t you say something before? Why didn’t you tell his parole officer?”
“I did! I swear to God, I did. I called the parole guy up and explained the whole thing after I realized what had happened, but he said it didn’t matter. He said it was in Kieran’s possession, and how it got there didn’t matter. I had to report it to my supervisors and everything. It was a whole mess, and I almost got myself fired for such a stupid mistake.”
Fiona shook her head, trying to make sense of it. “I don’t understand—why would he take it out of your desk?”
Nora muttered something under her breath and sat up, turning to look at Fiona. “He didn’t. I spoke to one of the younger girls at the center, and she admitted that she and Shea had been smoking it. Kieran caught them and reprimanded them.”
Fiona stared at her silently, in shock, as she slowly sat up. “Nora, are you telling me my eight-year-old sister was smoking pot? Please say you’re joking.”
Nora shook her head.
“Shea? My little sister? What? B-but that means…” Fiona dropped her head into her hands. “He didn’t do it. He shouldn’t be in prison. Why…why wouldn’t he have said anything?”
Nora was silent for a long moment. “The truth—I think he did it to protect you. A parole officer seeing an eight-year-old with drugs…you’re her young, single guardian and you guys just lost your home. I think you’re a great mother figure to Shea, the best even, so don’t get me wrong, Fiona. But on paper, it could look bad. I think he wanted to protect you, the kids…hell, all of us.”
Fiona opened her mouth, wanting to yell at Nora for saying such a thing to her. But she couldn’t find the anger. Nora was right. Fiona had fought hard to get custody of Shea, but Child Services could pop back in anytime.
Nora clasped her hands in front of her as though she was praying. “Fiona, I’m so sorry. Please don’t be mad at me.”
“I’m not mad, Nora.” Fiona exhaled slowly. “Not at you.”
Nora frowned but said nothing.
“I’m mad at myself. I was so quick to judge him. I was so quick to decide that he wasn’t the man I thought he was, that he had some sordid past plus drug habit he was hiding from me. But even though he never told me about prison, he still has the same good heart I admired in the first place.”
“He really does, Fi.” Nora reached forward and squeezed her friend’s hand affectionately. “It’ll all work out. It has to. You guys are perfect together, and I think you’ve both benefited from being in each other’s life. Shea definitely has. Don’t let this one stupid decision of his to take all that away.”
“Can I have a few minutes alone, Nora? I just need time to think.”
“Sure, hon. I’m going to go help the girls downstairs,” Nora said with a nod, and left the room quickly.
Fiona lay back in bed and replayed the whole scenario in her head. She made a mental note to talk to Shea in a few minutes about all of this. After everything Nora had just said, Fiona knew she needed to rededicate her efforts to improving her and Shea’s lives. She was fairly certain her eight-year-old sister hadn’t taken up regular drug use, but a parenting conversation still needed to occur.
She surprised herself when she realized she wished Kieran were there to be part of the conversation. She’d already allowed him to become so much a part of their lives, and she had no doubt he’d make a great parent to Shea, no doubt that she wanted him as a partner. Days ago, she was trying to go all in. She was trying to let herself have what she truly wanted.
Now she didn’t know if she’d get the chance.
—
“Can everyone please liven up?” Dee sighed from where she was sitting at the far end of the dinner table from Fiona.
Rory and Clare were beside Dee, Seamus was at the head, Quinn and Kane were next to her and Shea, and Casey was at the end as everyone ate the traditional large Sunday dinner in silence. Ace sat by her little sister’s side; he never left her side when he was visiting the Kavanagh house. The dog had taken to her in a way no one could understand.