“I didn’t do anything.” Readjusting his position on the couch, he turned his body to face her.
Fiona pulled her feet up on the couch cushion underneath her, looking at him curiously. “Don’t discount yourself, Kieran. You figured out she was sick, when I was here all day and couldn’t. I’d only said that to you in my text earlier as an excuse.”
Kieran shrugged, feeling uncomfortable accepting the praise.
“How did you know?” Fiona continued, a mixture of emotions on her face he couldn’t identify.
He looked down sheepishly and shrugged. “Her skin was practically on fire when I touched her.”
“She let you touch her.” Fiona nodded as she spoke slowly, tasting each syllable when it left her tongue.
Kieran frowned. She had been there and she knew what had happened, so he wasn’t sure why she seemed upset about it. “Was that wrong?”
“Not at all—you’re great at this.” Fiona turned away from him on the couch, suddenly leaning forward and burying her face in her hands as a loud sob wracked through her thin, long body. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be a bitch.” Another sob took her.
Alarmed, he gently rubbed her back in hopes of calming her down.
“You’re not being a bitch, Fi. Tell me what’s wrong.”
Her sobs came faster and harder, her entire body shaking with emotion. Deciding his caressing wasn’t helping, he reached around her waist and encircled her, lifting her whole body into his lap. She curled against his chest seamlessly, crying into his shirt.
“Fi, what’s wrong? I hate seeing you so upset. Please tell me.”
She sniffed and quieted for a moment, wiping at her eyes with her knuckles.
“I’ve spent the entire day trying to figure out what was wrong.” Her tear-streaked cheeks and puffy, red eyes made his heart swell in his chest and thump hard with the urge to take away her pain.
“Well, everything’s okay now. Isn’t that a good thing?”
“Of course.” She nodded, looking truly relieved about that fact. She pushed off his lap and settled back next to him on the couch. “I don’t want Shea to be upset, but I want to be the one who’s able to fix it. And I wasn’t, because I’m not her mom, and I’ve no clue what I’m doing.”
Kieran missed the warmth of her body pressed into his, and he wanted to pull her to him. But he understood where she was coming from.
“I’m sorry, I thought I was helping. I didn’t mean to…” He trailed off, unsure of what he had meant to do in the first place. He wasn’t Shea’s father, and he wasn’t Fiona’s boyfriend. Yet he’d forced his way into her home, discovered the most intimate parts of her life, and demanded she let him solve all her problems without asking if she wanted him to.
“You were helping, Kieran, and I appreciate it more than you know. I’m so lucky to have met you, and even more grateful that you were able to figure out what Shea needed. I’m just still trying to figure out all this guardian stuff, and I feel like everyone else is better at it than I am.”
“Fi, you’re twenty-four and raising an eight-year-old with special needs. No one expects you to be perfect at this. I wouldn’t be if I were you.” He pushed a few wisps of hair off her cheek and tucked them behind her ear. Most of her messy bun had fallen to one side.
“I know, but she deserves better than the little I’ve been able to give her. I ruined her life, and I still am a year later.” Fiona sniffed, swiping at her cheek with her sleeve.
“You didn’t ruin her life,” he promised, wondering why she would think such a thing. If anything, she had saved her sister’s life. She’d given her a home with her only family. Fiona was amazing, and he was more than a little taken with her giving and nurturing spirit.
“I wish that were true,” she whispered this time, dropping her eyes to his hands, which were resting on hers.
There was something she wasn’t saying. He didn’t want to push her, especially since he’d already pushed her pretty far by just showing up, but he was curious as to what made this beautiful woman tick. “What do you mean?”
Fiona had a hesitant look on her face. After a moment of silence, she pulled her lower lip between her teeth and then released it. He stared at her lips, his breath catching in his throat at the intensity of the movement. Finally, she shook her head and turned away from him.
“I didn’t mean anything. I just wish I knew what I was doing. I need to work to take care of her, but I need to be with her, too. I don’t know how to balance work and her, and there’s so much she needs that I don’t know how to give.” Fiona sighed. “It’s just such a mess—how do people juggle both?”