Saving Us(70)

“We go to the hospital and have a baby. What do you think happens? Did you not learn about how a baby comes out?”

He grabbed me by the arm and walked me away from the puddle. “Do we have time to clean up the mess or do we leave it? Does that shit stain?”

“I have no idea if it stains. Are you joking right now? Do I need to call your sister to help me?” I was wondering if Conner was joking or being serious. At that very moment, I couldn’t tell.

“We got your bag in the truck already. The doctor’s number is on my phone and I will call my sister and let her know we are on the way to the hospital. Take a few deep breaths, Blaze. I got this!”

Conner helped me get into the truck and in no time at all, we were pulling up at the hospital. On the drive over my contractions were coming at about five minutes apart. The pain was intense but it didn’t last very long when it came. Conner held my hand the whole way and tried his hardest to get me to focus on breathing.

Conner called the family and let them know that I was going into labor. I was both excited and scared. Ever since the day I found out I was pregnant, I'd wanted to know what I was having. I knew when I left this hospital I was going to have my answer. My heart pounded out of my chest as we went up to the maternity ward and were put right into a delivery room. Conner got comfortable in the chair beside me. He was playing with the television in between my contractions.

By the time the doctor arrived, I was having contractions every two minutes. I was already hooked to an IV and was in severe pain. "When can I have pain medication? I need an epidural!"

My doctor laughed at me. "First let's see how dilated you are. You don't want to get an epidural too early. You need to save it for when the real pain comes."

My eyes about popped out of my head. "The real pain? What is this, fake pain?"

I looked from the doctor to Conner. He was trying really hard to be supportive, except I was being more difficult than ever.

"Oh, well looky here. It appears that you are ready to pop this one right out."

I tried to back myself up on the bed, but with my feet in the stirrups and the doctor still holding my legs, it was impossible. I shook my head. "I'm not ready yet. You need to check again."

Conner took his hat off and started laughing at me. He got down where the doctor was and looked down between my legs. When I saw him look up at me, he looked like it was the worst thing he had ever seen.

"Oh my God, how bad is it?"

He scratched his head and put his hat back on. "It's...I didn't expect that."

"What? Is it ugly?" I completely forgot about the doctor between my legs. A contraction had started and in between the pain, I tried to finish the conversation. "Is it the ugliest thing you've ever seen? I changed my mind. I think I want a C-section."

The doctor started to laugh at me. "The swelling is all part of the process. It won't stay this way. You can't ask for a C-section. They are done for emergencies. Your baby is already starting to crown. As soon as the rest of the staff gets in here, we can get him or her delivered." I hated my doctor. Seriously, he was the devil. How could he not care about my swollen vagina? I needed it to always be pretty. Conner was younger. What if he left me for someone who never had a swollen vagina? What if he could never look at it again?

The pain made me forget what I was complaining about. Two nurses came in the room and one had a cart that had a plastic box for a baby.

Conner walked over beside me. He leaned down and kissed me on the lips. He put his mouth close to my ear. "You are the sexiest woman that I have ever seen, Blaze. I need you to be brave. Don't you want to meet our baby?"

I nodded and tried to breath. "Yes."

The doctor got me into position. My legs were placed in the stirrups and the doctor got comfortable in between my legs. Conner held onto one of my knees and he watched what was going on the whole time. I'd heard the stories where women pushed for hours before their baby's came out. My story was nothing like that. I pushed three times and felt the worst pain in my life as my skin ripped to allow our eight pound daughter to come out of me. I didn't have to have contractions for hours, or be uncomfortable while I waited to dilate. I didn't even have a chance to get an epidural.

No, our daughter wanted to come out and she wasn't willing to wait any longer.

Conner's eyes lit up as the doctor got her body out and handed her to the nurses to get cleaned up. She screamed with a healthy set of lungs and was then wrapped up and laid right in my arms.

I think even after Conner heard the doctor announce that it was a girl, he still needed to hear it again. He looked right at me with tears in his eyes. "We have a daughter?"