Saving Us(37)

And I did.

I screamed his name and a bunch of other things that made no sense.

When I was insatiably satisfied, I slowed my pace. Conner linked our hands together. "I'm so close. Don't stop doing...that!"

Conner squeezed my hands as I felt his body tightening up. I stilled my body, allowing him time to relax.

He opened his eyes and looked up at me. My eyes filled with tears and I let my body fall right into his chest. He put his arms around me and kissed my forehead. "Let it out, Amy. Just let it out."

Every emotion was racing through my mind, but one was the strongest of them all. "I'm sorry I was such a bitch to you, Conner. I love you so much. I don't want to ever lose you."

He lifted my face. "I'm not goin' anywhere. I got you where I want you."

I sniffled and looked at him puzzled. "Where is that?"

"Wherever I am."

I smiled. "I bet you say that to all the girls."

"Only the ones carrying my child."

I stood up and headed in the direction of the bathroom. Conner got up and followed behind me. "If you think I'm going to climb out the window, I'm afraid you are seriously mistaken."

I reached down and turned the shower back on. When I turned around Conner was just standing there, leaning against the doorframe. "You know you're my future, right?"

"Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Promise me forever. Not when so much is standing in our way."

"Amy, I don't give a damn about any of that. Nothin' is goin' to stop us from bein' a family. Would you please stop thinkin' so darn negatively about everything? As long as I got you, I don't care where we gotta live. You want a salon, well, I will build you one. Just tell me what you want so I can make it happen."

I didn’t know what to say to Conner. More than anything, I wanted us to be a family. God, I had wanted it for so long. I didn’t know what I would do without him, but I feared that Rick was not going to let anything stop him from destroying my happiness. I wasn’t exactly sure how he was going to do it, but it was possible. “Just don’t give up on me. No matter how moody I get, or how much I cry. It’s not ever about you. You are the only person in my life that I know I can count on. This baby, our baby, means everything to me. I just wish we didn’t have to go through this. My God, I am pregnant and practically running for my life. I don’t know how I am supposed to even feel about that.”

I looked away, but he grabbed my chin and pulled it toward him. “It’s alright to be scared. Once we get to Kentucky, and we get settled, it will all work itself out. My aunt knows a lot of people. I’m sure we can get you a job if that’s what you want. To be honest I think it’s a good time to stay home and start preparing. We’re goin’ to have to buy a lot of shit.”

“You make it all sound so easy. Are you sure your family is okay with us coming there to stay?” I hated imposing. His family was going to start calling me a mooch.

“This is my home. The only thing my mother and aunt are probably worried about is which house would be more comfortable for us. You know, my aunt has that huge house and just her and the housekeeper are livin’ there. The whole left wing of the house is empty. It’s got four bedrooms and a nursery already set up from when my sister lived there.”

I reached over and turned off the water, then sat down on the edge of the tub. Conner came over and sat on the closed toilet seat. It was funny that we were having such a serious conversation while we were both stark naked. “Where do you want to live, Conner?”

He took his hand and rubbed it over my exposed belly. “I don’t care where we live as long as we’re together. I can work at either ranch and make good money. I think you’d be surprised what I already have in the bank. I reckon if you and I would have done things like a normal couple, we would have talked about things like this already. Darlin’ you don’t ever have to work. If being a fulltime mother is somethin’ that you’ve thought about, I want you to know that I am all for it. Of course it would benefit me to come home to a nice dinner every night.”

I thought about my marriage to Rick and how he expected dinner, even after I had worked a full eight to ten hours. “I like working. Rick never let me have my money, so it would be nice to have a job and have money to buy myself things. I have also always wanted to be a mother, so when this little one comes out, I might not ever want to leave her.”

“Him.”

“You say boy, I say girl. I guess we will see in about four months.”

“No, we are rescheduling you another sonogram with Van’s doctor. I can’t wait another minute to see what we’re havin’.” I was starting to worry that Conner was hoping so much for a boy that he was setting himself up for disappointment.