Saved by the Outlaw(198)

16





Katy





I don’t say a word. Ivan raises his arms up over his head in surrender.

“Search me, if you please. I have no weapons on me. I would never hurt you, Katy,” he tells me in a low, deliberate voice.

“Bullshit!” I burst, brandishing the gun. Ivan doesn’t even blink.

“I’m telling the truth,” he retorts. “Search me.”

“Ohhh, no you don’t,” I reply, my voice shaking a little. “I’m not going anywhere near you, ever again. I know how strong you are. You’re just itching to snap me in half, aren’t you?”

“Katy, please. Let me explain.”

“There’s nothing to explain, Ivan!” I cry. “I know exactly what you are and what you’ve done, and there’s not a damn thing you can say that will change it. You’re here to kill me like you killed my father!”

Ivan shakes his head and holds up his palms in front of him. “You’ve got it all wrong, mishka, I swear to you.” That affectionate term — I looked it up, it means a perfect woman — is like poison on his tongue.

He takes a step closer and I put both hands on the gun, holding it level.

“Don’t go any farther or I swear I’ll — I’ll do it.”

“You’ll what? Shoot me?” Ivan says. “You’re really going to shoot me in your father’s cottage, Katy? How do you think he’d feel about that?”

Anger rises like hot steam in my chest. “Don’t you dare mention my father. You have no right to say shit about him, you murdering piece of scum,” I growl. “How do you think he felt about being killed in cold blood, huh?”

“You’re right. I am a killer,” Ivan admits. “Because it is my job, Katy. And I don’t kill good men. I kill bad ones.”

“Was my father a bad guy?” I demand.

“No, that’s what I’m—”

“Exactly. And you killed him anyway. I know what happened. You didn’t do it because you were ordered to. You did it because killing is nothing but a game to you. Taking a human life is nothing to someone like you! I bet you even enjoy it, don’t you?”

At that, Ivan’s jaw clenches and my own blood runs icy.

“There is no aspect of my job that I enjoy. I did not choose this life,” he replies quietly.

“Oh, poor you. It must be so hard having all that money and power, being able to take out anyone who rubs you the wrong way. What did my father do to provoke you, Ivan?” I ask.

“Nothing. I never met him.”

“There you go with the lies again!” I shout, my arms aching from having to hold the gun up for this long. “You were so careful to keep this hidden from me, you even made up that whole sob story about being stuck in Russian prison.”

“That was the truth,” Ivan protests, but I shake my head.

“You made me think you were some kind of fucking hero, Ivan! Going off to the motherland to save some poor beat-up girl from the big evil bad guy. I bet none of those people even exist, do they?” My rage is fueling me at this point, and even if I die tonight, I am determined to have the last word.

“Look them up. Research the case. It made headlines in Moscow.”

At this I can’t help but laugh bitterly. “Oh, you’re unbelievable. Or maybe just delusional. But I refuse to believe in those delusions anymore, Ivan, okay? You don’t control me anymore and I know that just kills you.”

“Put the gun down, Katy, before you hurt yourself,” he pleads softly, genuine concern on his gorgeous features. There was a time when that look might have melted me, but not anymore.

“I mean, how sick can you be? You killed an innocent man and fucked his daughter! And what’s even worse is that you fooled me into it. I never suspected a thing. I mean, sure, I have been afraid of you all along because of what you do for a living. But I never once thought, oh hey, this guy I’m sleeping with might have murdered my father. So, bravo. Congratulations. You really played me,” I confess, and now the tears are rolling down my cheeks in hot streaks.

Ivan looks truly pained. The look in his beautiful dark blue eyes is filled with heartbreak. But it has to be an act. I know by now that he is a good hit man and a very good actor.

“And you know what, Ivan? You know what I don’t get?” I start again, emotion making me voice sound all wobbly and weak. “You claim to only kill bad guys. But the world isn’t that simple, is it? It’s not black and white, like you said. Every ‘bad guy’ starts out somewhere. He probably has a family. Even if you don’t like him, somewhere out there, there’s gotta be someone who loves him. So when you kill a bad guy, do you think about that? Do you even stop to think about his family? What did they ever do to you?”