Marianna's reply was preempted by a high-pitched wail coming from downstairs.
"Looks like I didn't need to bring the monitor after all," the new mother said. "Rosa has inherited my lungs."
* * *
"Ryan and Marianna are going to have their hands full fending off the boys when Rosa's older, that's for sure," Louisa said as they crossed the plaza a short while later. "I won't be surprised if Ryan decides to ship her off to a convent when she's older just to keep them away."
"Yes," Nico replied. "Because naturally Italy is full of convents where the residents can hide their children."
"It's an expression, Nico."
"I know what it is." He tightened his grip on the shopping bag he was carrying, the plastic handle threatening to snap in two from the pressure. The knot at the base of his neck had been tightening since they'd left Marianna's villa, fed by his companion's continual gushing over baby Rosabella. How beautiful, how sweet, how tiny, how wonderful. Every adjective reminding him of his shortcomings, because he felt nothing.
"I'm sure Ryan will deal with the onslaught of suitors when the time comes," he told her.
"I'm sure he will, too." She looked at him with a frown. "What gives? You've been in a bad mood all morning. Is everything all right?"
No. Everything was horrible. How else could it be when the world decided to remind you of unvarnished truths? "I have a lot to do at the winery, is all."
"You sure that's all it is?"
"What else would it be?" he asked, in a casual voice. Thank goodness for his sunglasses. He wasn't sure his eyes looked nearly as impassive as his voice sounded.
"I don't know. I was wondering if it had something to do with baby Rosa."
He stumbled over a cobblestone. "Contrary to what you think, the birth of baby Rosa is not the biggest event taking place in this town."
"No, but it is the biggest thing to happen to your family. I would think you'd be happy for Marianna and Ryan."
"I am happy for them." Granted he hadn't been thrilled when he'd first discovered Marianna was pregnant by a man she barely knew, but since then Ryan had proven himself devoted to both his sister and their child. "I hope Rosa is the first of many children."
"Good, because back at the villa you looked like you didn't want anything to do with the baby."
On the contrary. He turned to look at her. "I wanted plenty."
If Louisa caught the pointedness in his comment, she let it pass. They'd reached the town center. It being only a few days until the festival, tourists crowded the cobblestone square. Camera phones at the ready, they posed in front of the fountain and raised them to snap pictures of brightly decorated balconies. Many carried shopping bags like his. Monte Calanetti's economy was still going strong. Rafe would be happy. A lot of these people were no doubt eating at Mancini's this evening.
As though by mutual agreement, he and Louisa stopped in the square where they'd had their first kiss. He wondered how often she thought of that afternoon. As often as he did? Thinking of their kiss had become practically an obsession.
He wasn't sure if nature was trying to soothe him by pointing out that he could at least feel physical passion, or if she were mocking him by giving him a pointless attraction.
To rub salt into his wounds, he stole a long look at Louisa's profile. The way her hair turned white in the bright sun was something he'd never grow tired of studying. He loved the way her hair wasn't one color but a collection of platinum and gold strands woven together to create a shade that was uniquely Louisa. It was her hair, no doubt, that had caught Steven Clark's attention on the elevator. Had his fingers itched to comb through the colors the way Nico's did?
Louisa turned in his direction, and he quickly looked away.
"Did your sister tell you she asked me to be Rosabella's godmother?" she asked him.
"She did?" He hadn't known, but he wasn't surprised. Marianna had told him how much she'd come to care about Louisa these past months.
"She said she picked me because I could teach her daughter about being strong. Funny, but I don't think of myself as strong."
Because she didn't give herself enough credit. "You're stronger than you think."
"Maybe," she said, looking away. The knot at the back of Nico's neck returned as he guessed what her next comment would be. "She told me they asked you to be the godfather."
"They did." For some insane reason, they actually wanted him as a backup parent. The question had caught him so off guard he couldn't answer.
"It's not going to be a problem, is it?" Louisa asked. "Being paired with me? I know it's a big deal here, and if you'd rather stand up with someone else..."
"What? No." He hadn't stopped to think that his unenthusiastic answer might sound like an objection to her. "I think you'll be a wonderful godmother. It's me that I'm worried about."
"If you're afraid you're going to drop her..."
"No, I'm not afraid of dropping her."
"Then, what's the matter?"
"It's complicated," he replied. Hoping she'd drop the subject, Nico walked toward the fountain.
Monte Calanetti's famed nymph reclined across her rocks, the clamshell in her hand beckoning to all who wanted to toss a coin. Based on the silver and gold coins shimmering beneath the water, a lot of tourists had tried today. "Have you ever wished on the fountain?" he asked when he felt Louisa standing behind him. A silly question. Everyone in Monte Calanetti had tried at least once to land a coin in the clamshell.
"Sure," she replied. "My coin missed the shell, though."
"Mine always missed, too."
"And I thought you were perfect."
She was joking, but Nico grimaced all the same. He was most definitely not perfect.
So much for changing the subject. "Didn't matter. My wish came true anyway," he replied.
"What did you used to wish for?"
"That I wouldn't be like my parents. In and out of love. Jumping from one drama to another. I would not live on an emotional roller coaster."
Her hand came to rest between his shoulder blades, the warmth from the contact reaching through his linen shirt. "Can't blame you there," she said "Who would?"
No one, or so he'd thought, which was why he'd stood here as a little boy and tossed coin after coin. He could see himself, standing at the fountain's edge, his jaw clenched with determination. "Unfortunately, it worked too well," he said, with a sigh.
"You're confusing me."
Of course he was. Louisa felt things deeply. He saw the warmth in her eyes when she looked at Rosa, the immediate affection. His sister couldn't have picked a better woman to help guide his niece through life. She would love Baby Rosa like her own. Unlike...
Fear gripped his chest. "Everyone sees me as some kind of leader," he said. "A man they can count on."
"Because you are. You certainly hold Monte Calanetti together. Not to mention the vineyard, the palazzo."
"Those are things, businesses. Anyone can manage a business. People, on the other hand..." He took off his sunglasses, wanting her to see how serious he was regarding his question. "What if I let her down?"
"Who?"
"Baby Rosa. What if she can't count on me? What if I can't love her enough to be there emotionally when she needs me to?"
"You're serious? That's why you kept pulling away when we talked about the baby." She sank to sit on the fountain wall. "Do you really believe you won't be able to care about your own niece?"
"Care about, yes, but care enough?" He shook his head. "I've already proven I can't."
"When? Oh, your fiancée."
"My fiancée." Taking a space next to her, he let his shopping bag rest on the ground between his feet. Thankfully the noontime heat had chased many of the tourists to the shade, leaving them momentarily alone.
"Floriana was a wonderful girl. Smart, beautiful, kind. We shared all the same interests. We never ever argued."
"She sounds perfect."
"She was," he said, staring at his hands. "We were perfect for each other." The answer tasted sour on his tongue. In a way, singing Floriana's praises to Louisa felt wrong.
"What happened?"
"Simple," he said. "I broke her heart."
* * *
There had to be more to the story. Something that Nico wasn't telling her. The man she knew wouldn't carelessly break a woman's heart.