“Why?” Why for her?” I asked suspiciously.
“I’m not doing it for her, Jax. I’m doing it for you,” she said quietly.
“What?” I asked in confusion.
“I know I’ll never get out of here alive. I accept that, but I also feel that if I am to spend the rest of my life trapped within these walls, then you shouldn’t be bringing others into this place. You ... you can do with me whatever you want, but you have to let Perry go,” she said her voice soft and shaky.
I shoved her away from me roughly. She fell to the balcony floor and looked up at me in confusion. I didn’t believe her even if I did intend to keep her with me forever; she would have to be accepting of the fact that I would not let Perry go. Not alive anyway.
“Get on the bed and do what you bargained for then,” I said crossing my arms over my chest.
“Not until you promise you’ll let her go,” she replied, shaking her head.
I leaned down and grabbed her by her arm. Squeezing it tightly, I yanked her to her feet and shoved her onto the bed toward Perry.
“I already said no. I won’t say it again. Now do what you said you or so help me God, I’ll make you wish you were both dead,” I seethed through clenched teeth.
Riley pushed herself to her knees and protectively hovered over Perry, “No. I won’t do it, I won’t do anything, until you promise you’ll let her go.”
I could feel my jaw clenching so tightly that if I wasn’t careful I knew I would shatter some teeth. I took in one deep breath and cracked my neck.
Fine, she wants me to set her free. Then free she shall be.
I went to the bed and grabbed Riley by her ponytail, yanking her viciously to the floor. While she cried in a heap on the carpet, I pulled a pocket knife out and cut the ropes that I had used to tie Perry to the bed with. I hoisted her still unconscious body into my arms and walked toward the balcony.
“Jax! What are you doing?” Riley asked frantically behind me.
“I’m setting her free. You promised to stay with me if I did, didn’t you?” I asked glancing over my shoulder.
“Yes, but –”
“But nothing,” I replied cutting her off. I went to the edge of the balcony and lifted Perry’s sleeping, angelic body over the side.
Goodbye again, sweet Anberlin.
Riley’s scream of horror was still ringing in my ears when I heard the sound of Perry’s small, fragile body crash into the concrete below.
Nineteen
I was lying in the bed, holding Riley tightly against me. I was doing my best to console her, but she was crying so terribly hard, that I was afraid I was only making her feel worse. Of course, it probably didn’t help that I was restraining her more than I was holding her, but I found myself hating to see her so terribly hurt over Perry’s death.
“She didn’t have to die. She could’ve lived here with us if you had only done what you were told to do,” I said to her softly.
Riley struggled against me and I shifted on the bed. I sat up and brought her up next to me, tightening my grip on her. It was important for her to know that someone was dead because of her and not me.
“Would you like to hear a story, Riley?” I asked quietly.
Her response was another violent struggle. I chuckled and kissed the side of her head. I thoroughly enjoyed that she had so much fight in her. It would prove to be very useful to her once I felt that she was ready for my tests.
“I’d like to tell you about how I became the way that I am. Would you like to hear it?” I prodded.
“No! I don’t give a fuck! You killed Perry for no reason! Nothing you say to me can make me feel sympathy for a monster like you,” she yelled through her tears.
I leaned my head back against the headboard and sighed deeply. Maybe it was a bad time to bring it up. Maybe what she needed was some time alone. Time to grieve or whatever the hell it was that she wanted.
But I was never given time to mourn the loss of myself. I was never given a break or a chance to catch my breath. The point was to break me and they did not stop until I was indeed broken.
I glanced down at the angry small woman who was crying in my arms and sighed. Riley was different; she was older than I was when I took her and she had a fighting spirit. It was something that I couldn’t deny and for that reason alone, I decided to give her time.
I climbed off of the bed and left her alone in my room. My room; no one had ever earned that privilege from me before because I had not won that privilege from my mentors no matter how hard I had tried. My growing feelings for Riley were starting to compromise how I was teaching her. We hadn’t started lessons yet, I hadn’t left her in the Alone Room by herself for more than a few hours at a time and now I was giving her my room.