“What is this?” I asked, watching him remove his pants on the screen and then his boxers. His body is fucking perfect, I thought looking at his nakedness. There was not one slight birth mark on him, not a single scar, and his ass ... I had never been attracted to an ass before in my life, but his was absolutely immaculate.
“Just watch,” he whispered back.
A few more seconds of him standing at the foot of the bed, before he climbed on top of the girl and began to kiss her neck. I assumed it was her neck he was kissing, since he had taken the time to move her long, brown hair out of the way. I watched him as he slid his hands underneath her shirt and pulled it over her head, tossing it to the ground. Impressive; he didn’t fold it. He began to lower himself on her body, kissing her skin while keeping his hands tightly gripped on her bare breasts.
I leaned forward a little more and noticed something really weird. She wasn’t responding to what he was doing. How could someone not respond to being kissed and groped that way? Jax let go of her breasts long enough to pull her pants and panties off, tossing those to the side as well.
I inhaled sharply when he pushed her legs further apart, before settling on top of her, not yet pushing into her, but instead staring lovingly at her. My lower lip started to tremble as he reached over to the lamp on the side of the bed and pressed the button.
“You’re so beautiful, Ms. Riley,” he said to the girl on the bed.
The unconscious girl.
The girl that didn’t know she was about to be abused; pillaged. That she was going to lose her virginity to a deranged stranger.
The girl that I had been watching this entire time; being touched and kissed and caressed, and finally being fucked so gently and lovingly on the beautiful bed in the beautiful room was me.
Twelve
The video lasted three hours. Every time I would look away or try to cover my eyes, he would reach over and squeeze my shoulder and the sharp pain would make me cry out. Jaxton told me it was important for me to watch so that I wouldn’t miss a moment of my first time.
How could that even qualify? I wasn’t awake for it; any of it. I didn’t feel anything when he was ... I took a deep breath and bit my lower lip to keep from crying. I wouldn’t let him have the satisfaction of my tears. Not for this and not ever again.
When it was finally over, he got to his feet and turned off the TV and DVD player. He pushed everything out of the room again and came back for his chair, which he carried out as well. He sat on the edge of the bed and put a hand on either side of me, looking at me with adoring eyes.
“Did you enjoy watching us, Riley? Together like we should be?” he asked softly.
I had to be careful on how I answered him. My inner heroine was warning me to watch my words at this moment. Jaxton seemed like he had a lovesick crush on me and the wrong words would make this situation painfully worse. But I wouldn’t lie to him either; I wouldn’t tell him that I enjoyed watching something that turned my stomach.
“Um,” I said in a shaky voice. I looked into his big brown eyes that were full of expectation and wondered how to answer him without hurting his feelings. Why would you care if his feelings were hurt? Just tell him the truth. “I don’t like that it happened, Jaxton. I don’t like that I will never remember something that I should never be able to forget. I don’t like that I wasn’t given a choice and I don’t like that you think it was okay to do,” I said carefully.
He sighed unhappily and looked away. On what I could see of his face, he looked absolutely crushed.
“I’m not finished, Jax. Those are the things that I didn’t like. Do you want to hear what I did like?” I asked. He turned to look at me and nodded.
“That you were slow about it. That you didn’t force yourself in a brutal matter and that you cared for me after. For that much, I can say thank you,” I finished quietly.
Jax smiled, “I don’t find any pleasure in forcing a woman to do something she doesn’t want to do. I don’t mean to sound like an arrogant bastard, Riley, but I knew that eventually you would give yourself to me, and I couldn’t help myself in that moment. I didn’t want to wait and I will apologize for that. I will also tell you that it will never be like that again. Never without your permission, but you will permit me every time. Remember the dingo I told you about? I still see you in that way. A small, scared animal that needs to be broken.”
“Or you could just let me go,” I replied desperately. “Jaxton, I swear that I will never tell anyone about what’s happened here if you’ll just let me go!”
“And where would you go exactly, Riley?” he asked, moving me over on the bed. He sat next to me and stretched his legs out, crossing his arms over his chest.