Savage Unapologetic(93)

"Your clothes and your purse are right here." She walked towards a tiny cabinet, gently pulling them out before bringing them over to me. "The officer on the scene brought it to us an hour ago. He also left a card to the towing company that has your car. Can we call someone to pick you up?"

"No. A cab will do fine." With my clothes clutched in my hand, I maneuvered my body halfway off the hospital bed, dressed in a gown, when I halted the exiting nurse. "Sorry, but  …  do you know where River Ellis is?"

"He's fine, sweetie. He's very lucky you were there to save him. Apart from a broken rib and a mild concussion, he'll be good as new soon enough. If you plan on seeing him, he's not accepting visitors. His agent gave strict orders that no one goes in there without his approval."

If he hadn't changed his emergency person, then it would still me be, so my authority would override Ari's orders.

"Please tell me what room he's in?" I begged for a second time, not willing to let her out of here until she told me.

She paused, looking down before she nodded. She knew I saved him, so she must've understood my plight of needing to witness him breathing with my own eyes. "Three floors up. His room's right across the nurses' station, on the right. You won't be able to miss it."

"Thank you, Nurse Dorothy."

"You take care now, sweetie. And please, try to think about what I said earlier. It's never too late to seek help. All you have to do is take that first step." She threw me one more thoughtful look before closing the door behind her.

I stared for a good minute, taking account her words of wisdom. The drugs weren't self-inflicted. It was by accident. But she didn't know that. And I didn't care to elaborate. No one would ever know what happened to me. Over my dead body. I would take it to my grave. No one would see me as a victim, not in this lifetime.

It took me half an hour to get fully dressed. My body still suffered the aftereffects of what they had injected in me, so I was a little groggy. From there, I followed Nurse Dorothy's instructions, and just before I was about to reach River's room, a male nurse stopped me in my tracks.

"Excuse me, ma'am, you're not allowed in there!" he haughtily reprimanded me as if he was guarding the crown jewels, proud and arrogant.

"I'm his emergency person," I argued as I dug into my purse for my identification before handing it over to him. "Call his insurance company. I'm the only person authorized to make decisions if he's incapacitated." I even threw in a sickly sour smile just to give him a warm, fuzzy feeling in his stomach.

After double-checking it twice, he begrudgingly gave me back my identification before murmuring that I could go see him.

Irritated as I was, all my focus was on River, and upon entering his room, I felt my world closing in on me. I could taste the saltiness of my tears behind my throat as I willed myself to move forward. In the middle of the room, there he lay, head bandaged up with a faint bruise on his cheek and scratches on his face. The scratches were superficial wounds. Apart from that, he appeared as though he hadn't been in an accident. His lips were soft and red, and his pallor the same as earlier today.

I timidly took a step before reaching his side. Taking hold of his hand, I cradled it with my own before the tip of my nose brushed against it, inhaling him deeply before my lips kissed each bone on his knuckle, like the way he used to do with mine.



       
         
       
        

"I'm sorry," I whispered as tears threatened to slip from my eyes again.

The ring belonged to him. I held his hand with my left while I dug into my pocket with my right and pulled out his grandmother's ring, closing his fingers over it.

My eyes took him in, brushing over his handsome face as if committing him to memory. Who knew when I would see him next? Maybe never. If it were up to River, I would never see him again. He would take every painstaking precaution there was to avoid running into me.

So, this was it  …

"Goodbye, my heart." My love.

My heart, I was leaving it here with him. I had no use for it. My heart dies with him. And it all ended here. Right now. In this very moment.

Without him, life would be meaningless.

Slowly replacing his hand back on the bed, I wiped my tears away. Then I took a deep breath and strode out the door, never looking back. I didn't release my breath until I stepped into the elevator, heading straight down to hell.

There was nothing left to break. I was broken beyond repair.

Darkness greeted me. It embraced my shattered soul.

I closed my eyes and there he was, delighted that I was finally his. Just as he promised.