"Am I bothering you? Are you alone?"
"Is that your way of asking if I have a woman sleeping next to me?" His voice was calm and nonchalant, giving nothing away.
"Maybe," I murmured as dread took hold of me. The lightness I felt seconds ago took an immediate nosedive.
"Hmm," he responded, again, giving nothing away in that flat, lifeless tone. "You called; is everything okay, Cara?"
I don't know. You tell me. I was beginning to feel that nothing was right anymore. Did I read too much into our last night in Stockholm? It seemed that way.
"I thought I could say hi. I haven't spoken to you in forever, and I'm going home in a few days, so … " So, what? Does he care what I do next? "Well, I figured, you know … if you'd want me to join you while you finish touring?"
"Don't you want to stay in LA, rest, and be with your friends?"
What kind of answer was that? Answering a question with a question didn't give me the warm fuzzies.
"Yeah, but I'd rather be with you. That was the plan before … I mean, before things went-"
"Downhill?" he provided with an edge to his voice.
"Yes." I shut my eyes and took a deep breath. He wasn't making this easy. Far from it. His indifference grated on my bruised heart. "Is it possible, River? Can I fly out to where you are and join you? Even for a little while?"
He blew out a breath, contemplating. "I'd thought, you know, I'll just fly out to see you when you're back in town. It's better that way."
Better for whom, precisely?
My heart squeezed tightly.
"How often would that be?"
There was a shuffle of sheets as if he was making himself a comfortable spot. I could easily picture him piling a pillow against the headboard, pensive, pondering how to deal with this mess of a relationship.
"I can't say for sure … I guess when I get a chance or what not."
What not …
Well, that's as clear as it gets with him, then. Fuck. He hadn't forgiven me. When would it happen? In a year? In two? When? What if that day never arrived? What would I do then?
"I understand where you're coming from, I do, but I just want to also say I'm not happy about how this is going. I miss you like crazy. There hasn't been a day I haven't thought of you. So, can you please work with me here?"
"I need more time, Cara."
Damn him. Damn it all to hell.
"Five weeks wasn't long enough?"
"No," he stonily said. "It's not long enough. But, like I said, I'll see you when I get a chance, Cara."
He made me sound so desperate and needy. Nevertheless, what room did I have to complain?
"Okay, if that's what you need, then … okay." Patience was key. Did I even have enough to last for however long this grueling punishment lasted?
"When are you done filming?" he asked, surprising me, as if he was now interested in my life, when moments ago, he had sounded bored out of his mind talking to me.
Curling a strand of hair behind my ear, I pressed my lips together before I retreated back indoors and sat at the foot of the bed, downcast. "Tomorrow. We should be done by noon, I think. We just have to reshoot the last scene, then it's a wrap."
"So … how's Juan Torres doing?" he inquired, as if he's innocently wondering what the weather was like here.
He couldn't help it; he just had to go there. Was he purposely trying to sabotage this call? Fuck, I was getting pissed off now.
"I don't know, River. Why don't you ask him yourself, hmm?"
"Huh."
Silence ensued. For a whole damn minute.
When he came back on, he sounded less hostile. "So … you're arriving late Monday night?"
I paused, hesitant. River's mercurial manner made me distrust where this question was going. So far, all he had done was try to put me in place, baiting for a fight. So yes, I was hesitant to respond.
"I am," I whispered.
"So, what will you be doing in the next two days if you're done filming at noon tomorrow and your flight doesn't leave until Monday?"
He was piecing my responses, as if to see if I was lying or not. Why bother? With the way he was treating me, one would think I lied all the damn time. No, I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction. I had been truthful, even if it pained me to admit my faults. Still, I came forth, knowing he deserved the truth. And I didn't intend to stop being forthcoming out of spite.
"I've been invited to a party tomorrow night. I already promised I'd go-Juana's, Juan's little sister. I gave her my word weeks ago. She's expecting me, and I don't plan on changing my mind."