Savage Unapologetic(72)

His prick is inside me, but he hasn't decided yet?

Damn. All the confidence I had last night now evaporated into thin air. His indecision wasn't a good sign. The ache in my heart throbbed again, reminding me that I might be hours away from walking away from his life.

I grew up with this man; I knew how his mind worked. If he hadn't made a choice after hours of pondering, the answer wasn't what the receiver would want to hear.

Breaking eye contact, I willed myself not to cry. There was nothing more awful than showing weakness after rejection.

"Why haven't you made up your mind?" Fear was a rotten thing that couldn't be helped. It cloaked me, ensuring that I understood the limited time I had with River.

"I'll always want you, but I don't want to get caught up with my emotions. At the end of the day, it's just sex." River delivered his words as if he had memorized the line all night. He probably had, and still he just had to take my body for one last ride amidst it all. Great just mighty great.

"We both have to let go. You'll enjoy it soon enough, and someone else will give me what you're offering. There's nothing left for us, Cara."

My brows furrowed. "So  …  you're just  … " His words slowly sunk in, zapping me back to life. My eyes snapped open, and with the use of my elbow, I slowly lifted my upper body, gazing down at the man who had just crushed my dreams of reconciliation.

You'll enjoy it soon enough meant he was basically ending things so I could figure out what was going on with Juan?

"You're basically saying that you want me to  …  go to his bed  … " River didn't care to put up a fight to keep me, not anymore.

His eyes darkened, offering me silence.

"I see  … " Pressing my lips together, I sniffed before I nodded, as if understanding it all.

My insides churned. Back in the day, he would go bonkers at the thought of men touching me. He wasn't even jealous anymore. Meaning he had thought this out. There was no use in fighting then, if he had given up. I had nothing to bargain and, quite frankly, the emotional upheaval I had gone through for the past three days had tested me to the limits, draining me out completely. I had no fight left in me. 

Breathe.

Breathe, Cara.

It's not the end of the world. You have so much going on, anyway. Maybe this could be a good sign. Things happened for a reason, remember? Let go. Just let go completely. River might have been my anchor, but maybe I had to sail into the vast ocean and see where it would lead me.

This is really happening  …  again.

Fuck.

I blew out a shaky breath, readying myself from the heartbreak that would soon follow. But first, I had to detach our bodies. However, River didn't seem to be in any hurry, damn him.

Licking my lips, I diverted my gaze towards the window, not wanting to look him in the eye. "Um, could you please take your penis out? I need to use the bathroom."

The man did as I asked, his laser-like eyes studying me with intensity. But I willed myself not to meet his scrutiny as I slipped out of bed, hastily grabbing my purse that sat on the nearest settee before marching into the bathroom.

Shutting the door behind me, I was about to shove the purse into the vanity when I felt it vibrate. Sliding my hand into the bag to scour for the phone, I frowned when I saw an unknown number flashing on my screen.

"Hello?" I croaked out, my throat severely dry from lack of hydration.

"Hola, Cara! It's Juana. Did I catch you at a bad time?" Her upbeat breathy voice brought a smile to my lips.

Did we exchange number? I couldn't recall.

"Oh, hey, you! What's up?" Apart from her brother, I had enjoyed her company. Her sassy personality just spoke to me, and we ended up discovering we had a lot in common.

"So, I called because it's my birthday in five weeks, and I'm personally inviting you to be there. I had so much fun the other night, and I'm sorry you couldn't stay longer. Then I remembered my birthday's coming up, so here's another chance to visit Barcelona. Stay a little longer this time if you can. I promise I'll keep my brother away from you. He's annoying." She laughed wickedly, knowing the love-hate relationship I had with her brother.

Juan, another dilemma to be addressed later. And as for her birthday, I wouldn't want to miss it.

"If it's on a Saturday, you can count me in. I'd love to come and see your crazy-ass again." I was sure I could figure out a way to be there without having to deal with Juan, which could prove to be difficult but, well, after today, I guessed I wouldn't have to worry about anything since I was single.

I wasn't ready to get physical with anyone; it's too soon. However, the thought of hanging out with Juana would cheer my spirits up. Breakups with River never went easy on me, and this one would be no different. Without my friends here to hold my hand while I tried not to sabotage my life, Juana was the closest I had for support.