Before sleep finally caught on, I remembered thinking that Juan was actually quite fun to be around. Though he was a mad flirt, his flirtations seemed harmless. He knew I was with River. He briefly mentioned meeting him last year, but apart from that, he hadn't referenced River or our relationship. It gave me the opportunity not to divulge about my personal life and that suited me just fine.
Chapter Thirteen
It was our seventh day shooting, and in an hour's time, we were set to shoot the first nudity scene with Juan. I was in my trailer, failing not to fret, when I received a call from River.
Trying to hide the building anxiety, I took the call with masked enthusiasm.
"How's my beautiful girl doing?" he greeted.
Tied with nerves, hearing his voice immediately made me feel at ease. It was as if his voice had the power to center me.
"A little tired, but still pumped to be working on a Lombardo film," I said warily, hoping he couldn't detect the anxiety in my voice. River would be the last person to coach me on how to approach baring scenes. In his past movies, he'd endured them without a hitch. He was perfection personified on screen. If he was nervous, no one would know. River embodied his Viking character to a T.
"Just calling to say hi. Also, to tell you that I'll be in Sweden in five days' time. Will you be able to make it, then?"
He had texted me his schedule a few nights back, and I hadn't had the chance to really ponder it. But since he was arriving on a Saturday but his show was set on a Sunday, I was sure I could make it to the show.
"I won't be able to make it until Sunday. Then I'd have to leave the next morning. The schedule's pretty tight, and I wouldn't know if Cora will let me take more days off than what was already scheduled."
"Barely a day?" River grumbled before he sighed. "I guess that's better than nothing."
There was nothing I could do. And since I was new to the movie world, I didn't want to push my luck. "You're more than welcome to come back here with me if you can." River would like it here, if he could spare time.
"I wish it was that easy. There's something to do each day. This mini European tour will be the death of me. If I'm not performing, I have to do interview after interview. I don't know what else I have to say that the media doesn't know, but hey, who am I to complain?" And just like that, River's sour mood lifted once again.
He wasn't one to dwell on negativity, liking positivity and surrounding himself with likeminded folks. Though sometimes I wondered why he chose me since I could be Miss Negativity most days.
My train of thought suddenly halted when I heard people yelling something about a missing prop outside my trailer. Hearing the crew brought me back to the present and what awaited me in less than an hour's time. I was sure Juan was doing something peculiar, since none of this fazed him. Unlike Miss Newbie here, tied with nerves, hiding in her trailer, dressed in a robe, waiting for that definitive knock telling me it's hoo-ha show time.
"Listen, babe, I'll call you when I get back to my room. I gotta go."
As much as I dreaded the impending scene, I had to clear my head and commit my lines to memory. And speaking to River would curtail the small amount of time I was given.
"All right, I gotta hit the shower, anyway. Love and miss you; do remember that when you get a chance."
My heart skipped a beat. This man really knew how to put a smile on my face. "I wouldn't dream of not remembering you, River Ellis. You're always with me, and I love you truly, madly, crazy."
My physical attraction with Juan meant nothing.
This-what I had with River-was all that mattered.
After my call ended with him, I scanned through my lines for the umpteenth time. I knew each word, each expression I was set to depict, but for some reason, all I could see was Juan's naked body.
For a few days straight, he'd been sporting his colorful collection of swim shorts, which my stupid head dubbed as nut huggers. I had a fair idea of what he already looked like without those on.
The building anticipation was suffocating and vomit-inducing. A good dose of Xanax would be nice about now, but alas, I didn't have any. Nor have I ever tried it. Now I sympathized why some folks needed the extra help.
Why am I really making a fuss out of this? People are naked all the time. Who cares if Juan will see everything up close and personal? You signed on this film, knowing what's expected of you; own up to it.
No matter how much I tried to console my inner demons, it was to no avail. My palms began to feel clammy. My heart thumped at a speedy rate. My body felt as though it was shot with adrenaline. I was an epic mess. I would have chewed on my nails, too, but they were newly done two hours ago, and I didn't want to cause the kind-hearted Spanish lady any problem. And for the life of me, I prayed for a moment of reprieve from the riotous upheaval I was going through.