Savage Unapologetic(3)
"I'll pick at yours if you don't mind." A taste of anything sweet and tarty would be a great remedy to clean my palette.
"Figured you'd say that." He snickered before directing his eyes back at the menu. "Okay, let's have the pistachio cheesecake and Myer lemon tart. Sound good?"
"Sounds good to me," I murmured as I took a sip of my wine while letting my heavy-lidded gaze roam about his lovely face, clearly admiring. I had known him all my life, yet I could never get enough of memorizing his face.
River ordered the treats while my eyes trained on him. Maybe it was the alcohol getting to my brain, but I couldn't help gushing about how it took me forever to realize that I never stopped loving this sexy, handsome, intelligent goof.
"You know, Parker said that I couldn't get anyone better than him? Look at me now, dating the hunky Viking." I was sure the High and Mighty Parker was having a field day being dumped by some Z-list actress, as he so blatantly claimed I was.
River's face grew serious at the very mention of my ex. "You really shouldn't let him affect you still. I'm not sure if you noticed, but you drone on about him, and I can tell that he's impaired your confidence. Why let him win over you, babe? If anything, he was fucking too weak to project his shortcomings as a man. It's not your fault that he's that way, so don't let him ruin that beauty in your soul because, if you let him in further, he's succeeded in destructing that light he sorely lacks."
"I didn't mean it to sound like that … but maybe you're right. He was passive-aggressive with his jabs."
Parker's insults had stayed with me. Each time I saw food, I would recall his comment about my thighs. It was ludicrous, yet that one particular comment scarred me.
"It was foolish. I was foolish."
River took hold of my hand before kissing my fingertips. "No man should dictate how you eat, babe. Not even me. And if it ever comes to that point, you have my permission to dump my sorry ass."
His comment made me elevate my brows, teasing him. "Really? Like you'd really leave me? I tried that route before, remember? And you wouldn't take no for an answer."
A deep-bellied laugh broke out as he shook his head. "But that's different, babe. I was just saving you from a lot of heartache, so I had to swoop in and save my damsel in distress."
Pure crock. I never laughed so hard in my life.
"Oh, how heroic of you. How am I going to thank you for saving my life?" Laughing with him never failed to give me butterflies. It was the best feeling in the world.
"Maybe you could start with … you know." He winked at me.
"No, I don't know." Evidently so, or I wouldn't be asking.
He shook his head, grinning from ear-to-ear, slowly sobering up from the riotous laughter. "I just want you, Cara. It's all I've ever wanted from the start."
He hadn't answered my question, had he? I would let him slide for now, but I planned on grilling the answer out of him later.
"It's just you and me, River Ellis. Always." Reaching for his hand, I gave it a light squeeze, as if to say I loved him. Although I kept telling him just how much, sometimes vocalizing my feelings seemed too weird for me. Words were just, well, words. But showing the other person how much you loved them through actions held more meaning than anything else. Actions would never lie. Words did.
After paying our check, we drove home, listening to his pre-recorded tracks. He was keen on my opinion of them.
One that caught me was the song called "Little Red Dress."
Beautiful, oh, she's beautiful
Smiling with sadness in her eyes,
Meaning the lies,
Under the bright lights she hates
Comfortable in the dark, she fascinates
Rehearsed politeness but all she wants is to run wild and paint the town red
Her repressed fire craved to be released
If she embraced her tenacity, she'd learn to love herself again
Set yourself free, baby, take off the ball and chain
Mind you, I hadn't bridged the subject, but it eerily brought me back to that fated night we met at the rooftop premiere party. The little red dress gave it away.
There was no mistaking that River loved me. I could hear it in his voice as he sang and through the lyrics. His heart was mine. But the sadness that caused to break us apart could still be felt from his songs. His voice had the power of letting you experience the heartbreak with him. It felt haunting and purely magical.
After arriving in our rented bungalow, we strode hand in hand, deciding to set up a bonfire a few feet away from the house. Just the warmth of the fire, the sound of the ocean blanketed with the stars above us … it was the perfect way to end the night with me nestled securely in his arms.