She supposed, if she was honest with herself, she'd been too embarrassed to face him, and he'd come up behind her and wrapped his arms about her waist. Then, as she was struggling not to spill her coffee, he'd buried his face in the warm angle of her neck and shoulder. 'I love you, Fliss Taylor, do you know that?' he'd murmured huskily, and for a moment her heart had leapt into her throat. But then he'd spoiled everything by continuing, 'My God, you don't know what you've done for me. I'll never be able to thank you.'
That was when she'd eased herself out of his arms and done what she should have done half an hour before. 'You don't have to thank me,' she had said stiffly, moving to the sink and tipping the remains of her coffee down the drain. And then, 'I-would you mind if I went home and took a shower? I-feel-well, dirty.'
It wasn't the kindest choice of words, she'd known that instantly. Still, she hadn't been too worried about sparing his feelings after the way he'd behaved. She couldn't believe he'd actually said he loved her. For heaven's sake, what did he think? That she'd be flattered? That she'd believe him? Her breath caught in her throat. He didn't love her any more than she liked the image of herself as his mistress.
After what had happened when she was a teenager, she'd always sworn she would never get herself into a situation like this again. She loved her daughter dearly, and she wouldn't be without her, but she wanted no more unplanned pregnancies. One mistake, taking into account her age, could be forgiven. But she was too old now not to appreciate the dangers of unprotected sex, however justified the cause. Too old to withstand the stigma of knowing the whole village was gossiping about her, as they would if it happened again.
She'd known Matt had been taken aback by her response, but she couldn't help it. She might have behaved recklessly by having sex with him, but she wanted him to understand that she didn't need his guilty confession.
Consequently, when he'd said, 'If that's what you want,' she'd ignored his obvious confusion and taken him at his word. Whether he'd expected her to go back later she had no way of knowing, but she'd decided that giving them both twenty-four hours breathing space was probably the wisest course.
The trouble was, the twenty-four hours were over now-or almost-and she was still no surer of what she wanted to do. Could she go on working for him after what had happened? Would he want her to? And how would she cope with the emotional fallout if he decided it would be simpler for all concerned if they just called it a day?
Downstairs again, Amy was waiting expectantly for her decision and Fliss acknowledged that it might be easier all round if she took the child with her. It would mean that she and Matt would have no chance for any private conversation, and that was all to the good. For her, at least. It would give her another twenty-four hours' grace, and she found she needed that.
'Tell Matt I found a website that deals almost exclusively with military dictatorships,' said her father as Fliss was preparing to leave. 'I'm sure he'll be interested.'
Fliss's lips tightened. 'I'll tell him,' she said, ushering Amy out of the door before she could change her mind about going. 'Um-see you later.'
It was an overcast morning and Fliss thought that it matched her mood. She was definitely not equipped to deal with Matt in her present state, and she hoped he'd understand why she'd brought Amy with her and back off.
To her surprise, the back door was locked, and, although she knocked a couple of times, no one came to open it. 'Is Matt still in bed?' asked Amy innocently, looking up at her mother with wide, enquiring eyes, but Fliss didn't know what to think.
'Let's try the other door,' she said, not wanting to commit herself, and they circled round to the front of the house, where they found Albert Freeman's van in the driveway and the front door standing open.
Fliss frowned. She'd known that the painter and decorator had given Matt estimates for the work he wanted done, but she hadn't realised an appointment to carry out the work had been agreed. Still, it was fairly obvious that it had, and she could only assume that that was why Matt hadn't opened the back door.
With Amy following close on her heels, she climbed the steps and entered the hall, immediately encountering a workman stripping paper from the walls. 'Oh, hi,' she said, when he caught sight of her. 'Is-is Mr Quinn about?'
'No,' began the man, but before he could offer any further explanation, Albert Freeman himself appeared from the back of the house.
'Oh, it's you,' he said when he saw Fliss, looking a little askance when he saw Amy beside her. 'Were you just knocking at the back door?'
Fliss warned herself to ignore his overbearing attitude, and said smoothly, 'I was looking for Mr Quinn. Do you know where he is?'
'London,' answered Freeman at once, and Fliss felt her stomach lurch in disbelief.
'London?'
'That's right.' Freeman was obviously enjoying being the bearer of unexpected news. 'He asked me to tell you that he won't need you this week. He'll be in touch when he gets back.'
Fliss hoped she didn't look as devastated as she felt. 'I see,' she said faintly as Amy tugged impatiently on her arm.
'Why has Matt gone to London?' she asked, voicing the question Fliss would have liked to ask herself, and the man gave the little girl a reproving look.
'That's none of your business, young lady,' he said, and Fliss suspected his words were meant for her as well. 'Now, you'll excuse me if I get on, won't you? Mr Quinn will expect me to have finished in the hall by the time he gets back.'
Fliss walked back to the cottage in a daze. She could hardly believe that Matt would take off for London without even having the courtesy to tell her where he was going. But then, after the way she'd behaved yesterday, he'd probably decided she didn't deserve an explanation.
But that was too simplistic. Matt wasn't like that. Whatever she'd done, whatever she'd said, she couldn't accept that he'd treat her so shabbily. Something must have happened, something that had required his immediate attention, and he'd left a message with Albert Freeman so that he could give it to her in person.
Well, that was one way of looking at it, she acknowledged, wondering if she was being simplistic now. He could have phoned her, he could have put a note through the cottage door. Surely he must have realised how she'd feel being ordered about by the tradesman. Albert Freeman had got great pleasure out of telling her she wasn't needed. Oh, God, what exactly had Matt said?
'Matt's gone to London.'
Amy announced the news to her grandfather as soon as she got through the cottage door, and Fliss saw her father's eyes widen in surprise as he lifted his head from the newspaper.
'London?' he echoed, much as she had done. 'And you didn't know he was going?'
'Obviously not,' said Fliss, realising that if she displayed anything but annoyance at the situation George Taylor would smell a rat. She shrugged. 'Perhaps it was an emergency.'
'And he couldn't ring you to tell you what he was doing?' Her father gave a disgruntled snort. 'I told you I didn't approve of you working for him. The man's totally thoughtless.'
Fliss forced a smile. 'I thought you said you'd changed your mind about him. Didn't you just ask me to tell him about some website before I left?'
'Huh.' Her father wasn't pleased to be reminded. 'Anyway, I should have known better. Men like him, they don't change. I bet he's gone sniffing after that Chesney girl again. Her father was telling me they'd had a bit of a bust-up. Apparently, she was totally opposed to him moving down here. I suppose it was only a matter of time before she persuaded him to change his mind.'
Fliss opened her mouth to tell him that if that was so, why was Albert Freeman decorating the hall and stairs? But she decided not to bother. For all she knew, Matt could be doing the house up to sell it again. Obviously, he didn't confide in her.
However, it was what her father had said about Diane that troubled her the most. Despite his many statements to the contrary, deep inside she suspected Matt was still in love with the other woman. And now, thanks to Fliss's actions, he could resume his relationship with Diane, safe in the knowledge that his libido had been completely restored.
That hurt.
Even though she didn't believe he loved her, the possibility that he might be prepared to forgive Diane her indiscretions was painful. He'd been so adamant, so definite that Diane meant nothing to him. And yet, what else was she supposed to think when he hadn't even bothered to keep her informed of his movements?