"You used to have bad ones as a kid too. Wake up hollering for Daddy."
"Yeah." she managed a weak smile. "You don't grow out of everything, I guess."
"Still get them a lot?" He tried to make it sound casual, but he saw the flicker in her eyes.
"I don't wake up hollering for anyone anymore," she said stiffly.
"No, I don't suppose you would." He wanted to get up, move away. Hadn't her problems stopped being his years ago? But he stayed where he was, rocking the hammock gently.
"It's not a flaw to be self-sufficient, Brian."
"No."
"And it's not a sin to want to handle problems on your own."
"Is that what you're doing, Jo? Handling problems? Well, rest easy. I've got enough of my own without taking on yours."
But still he didn't leave, and they rocked together quietly in the green shade. The comfort of it made her eyes sting. Cautious and needy, she took a tentative step. "I've been thinking a lot about Mama lately."
His shoulders tensed. "Why?"
"I've been seeing her, in my mind." The photograph that isn't there. "Dreaming about her. I think she's dead."
The tears had slipped out without either of them realizing it. When he glanced back, saw them sliding down her cheeks, his stomach clutched. "What's the point of this, Jo Ellen? What's the point in making yourself sick over something that happened twenty years ago and can't be changed?"
"I can't stop it-I can't explain it. It's just there."
"she left us, we lived through it. That's just there too."
"But what if she didn't leave. What if someone took her, what if "
"What if she was abducted by aliens?" he said shortly. "For Christ's sake. The cops kept the case open more than a year. There was nothing, no evidence she'd been kidnapped, no evidence of foul play. she left. That's that. Stop driving yourself crazy."
she shut her eyes again. Maybe that was what she was doing, slowly driving herself toward insanity. "Is it better to think that every time she told us she loved us it was a lie? Is that more stable, Brian?"
"It's better to leave it alone."
"And be alone," she murmured. "Every last one of us. Because someone else might say they love us, and that might be a lie too. Better to leave it along. Better not to take the chance. Better to be alone than left alone."
It hit close enough to home to make him bristle. "You're the one with the nightmares, Jo, not me." He made his decision quickly and rose before he could change his mind. "Come on."
"Come on where?"
"We're going for a drive. Let's go." He took her hand again, hauled her to her feet and began to pull her with him to his car.
"Where? What?"
"just do what you're told for once, goddamn it." He bundled her in, slammed the door, and saw with satisfaction that she was stunned enough to stay put. "I've got Kate on my back," he muttered as he piled in and turned the key. "You crying. I've had just about enough.
I've of my own life, you know."
"Yeah." she sniffled, rubbed the back of her hand over her cheeks to dry them. "You're really living it up, Brian."
"just shut up." The wheels spun as he whipped the car around and headed down the road. "You're going to come back here looking like a sheet-white bag of bones, we're going to get to the bottom of it. Then maybe everybody'll go back to their respective corners and leave me the hell alone."
Eyes narrowed now, she clutched the door handle. "Where are we going?"
"You're going," he corrected, "to the doctor."
"The hell I am." Surprise warred with sick alarm. "Stop this car right now and let me out."
He set his mouth grimly and accelerated. "You're going to the doctor. And if I have to, I'll cart you in. We'll find out if Kirby's half as good as she thinks she is."
"I am not sick."
"Then you shouldn't be afraid to let her look you over."
"I'm not afraid, I'm pissed. And I have no intention of wasting Y Yirby's time."
He swung up the little drive, squealed to a halt at Yirby's cottage, then clamped a hand on his sister's shoulder. His eyes were hot and dark and level. "You can walk in, or you can embarrass both of us by having me haul you in over my shoulder. Either way, you're going, so choose."
They glared at each other. Jo figured her temper was every bit a match for his. In a verbal battle, she had a decent shot of taking him down. If he decided to get physical-and she remembered from their youth that it was very possible-she didn't have a prayer. Taking the high road, she shifted pride to the forefront.