“Something is amiss, Finn,” Logan declared as he released Finn’s sword and pushed him back lightly.
Finn swiped the arm of his shirt across his damp brow. “Naught is amiss.”
Logan shook his head and slipped his sword into his belt. “Finn, ye are one of the finest swordsmen I know. For yer years of training I cannae compete, yet I beat ye easily this day.”
“Yer a fine swordsman.”
“I learned swordsmanship the hard way, as ye well know. I have none of yer finer skills.” Logan slapped a hand to Finn’s arm. “Anyhow, dinnae change the subject. What plagues ye?”
A smile teased Finn’s lips, begged to be released, but instead he sighed. How was it Katelyn forced all his defences down?
“Is it Katelyn?”
“’Tis naught, Logan.”
“Naught doesnae throw ye off yer game like that. In all the years we’ve know each other, I’ve never seen ye this consumed by a lass.”
“Consumed?” Finn’s brows darted up. Logan had already inferred he recognised Finn’s need for Katelyn but he thought he’d thrown him off the scent with his flippant remarks.
“Aye, consumed. ‘Tis hard to miss the way ye watch her, Finn. And the way she looks at ye.”
Finn kicked a stone and strolled away to settle on the wall. If Logan saw it, did Gillean? And the way Katelyn looked at him? Earlier, all he’d seen was hurt and disgust. He’d practically called her a whore. Shame heated his face. He’d taken something precious and thrown it away. What had happened between them had been more than a mere tumble.
“It doesnae matter,” Finn grumbled. “She shall be married soon enough.”
“There is always a way, old friend. Ye would do well to take a chance.”
Finn let slip a depreciative laugh as Logan rested next to him. “A chance on what? I took chances once before and I lost everything, Logan. I’ll no’ do that again. She will marry Gillean and I shall return home and there ends our story. Anyway, what of ye? I dinnae see ye married to my sister.”
Logan bristled. “Yer sister willnae have me. Alas I am still a mere peasant boy in her eyes and I fear I always will be.”
“But…” Finn fought down the brotherly protectiveness, recalling Logan’s words of love, “she let ye into her bed, did she not?”
“Aye, and declared it a mistake.”
Pinching the bridge of his nose, Finn nodded. Hadn’t he done the same to Katelyn? And while she reacted with cold dignity, he’d been aware it was his angry reaction that prompted such behaviour. But the mere mention of Gillean and her marriage sent a surge of jealousy rolling through him that clouded any judgement.
“My sister cares for ye and I doubt she thinks ye as a peasant boy,” he finally declared. “She is always quick to come to yer defence.”
“Well, I shallnae give up and I dinnae think ye should, Finn. Ye must surely know the lass is worth the heartache.” He came to his feet and patted him on the shoulder. “I have duties to see to. I’ll bid ye good day.”
“Aye, and to ye, Logan.” Finn dropped his head and considered Logan’s words as the man strolled off.
Worth the heartache? Mayhap. But it was not his decision. Katelyn was contracted to marry Gillean. What else could he do? He’d ruined her with his selfishness. It mattered little how she felt about him. He lifted his head. However, his words to her earlier still vexed him. He would have to apologise for them. How could he let her believe he thought her a whore?
Unfortunately there was little he could do to make up for his taking her innocence. Not even the most heartfelt apology would repair that damage. Damnation. His gut clenched as if he’d been punched. He had even spilled inside her. He dropped his face into his hands. What if he’d not only taken her maidenhood but planted his child inside her?
***
Catriona wouldn’t have heard the soft tap at her door had she been asleep but in spite of being tired, sleep refused to come. Her mind was a whirl of panic and plans. The priest looked to be arriving on the morrow according to the missive they’d received that day. Throwing back the covers, she padded over to the door and drew it open. Would it be Gillean? He’d been so bold with his attentions, she wouldn’t have been surprised.
She peered out the gap and sucked in a startled breath. He’d seemed so angry, regretful. Why was he here now? She almost shut the door in his face. How could she face him now? Her cheeks burned at the memory of her wanton behaviour.
“Katie,” he said sorrowfully.
It stabbed her wounded heart. She wanted to hear her real name on his lips. “What do ye want, Finn?”