Salvatore: a Dark Mafia Romance(83)
“Father.” They’d moved a hospital bed into his study. It stood in place of his desk, which was pushed to the side. I remembered that desk, how I’d trembled on the opposite side of it when I’d been called in for this reprimand or that growing up. There had always been something he was displeased with.
“Don’t just stand there, come inside. It’s not contagious.”
His bitterness held an edge of regret. I heard it clearly.
We both entered. He adjusted his positon, so he sat up taller. He looked so much smaller than the last time I’d seen him. So much older. Dark circles ringed his eyes, and his cheeks looked sunken. He must have lost about twenty pounds too.
“I came to say good-bye,” I said, not wanting to delay this any further.
He once again glanced at Lucia before returning his gaze to mine.
“I assume you’ve seen the contract?”
“Roman showed it to me.”
“Well, here’s your own copy.” I set it on the foot of the bed. “You were wrong to tell Dominic. He never needed to know.”
He took in a deep breath, and his hand trembled, but his eyes remained fixed and hard.
“It was a mistake,” he said. “One I will pay for until the end.” No one spoke for a long moment. “Will I see you again?”
“No.”
He lowered his gaze to the envelope then back to me.
“I forgive you,” Lucia said, surprising me. “I forgive you for everything you did, all the hurt you caused.”
He only stared at her, but I couldn’t read his eyes.
“We never could please you, huh? None of us, not my brothers, not our mother, not really.”
“I’ve never been an easy man, son. Don’t think I don’t know that. And don’t think I don’t know I’ve made mistakes. I only did what was best for my family.”
“I believe you believe that.”
I released Lucia’s hand then and went to him. Leaning down, I kissed the top of his head. “Good-bye, father.”
His eyes glistened when they met mine, and he nodded but didn’t speak. I walked away and took Lucia’s hand. Without a backward glance, we left the house, got into the car, and drove away.
It was silent for a very long time, and I wasn’t even sure where I was driving to.
“I want to scrub my skin,” I said finally, inhaling a loud breath. “I want to burn my clothes and wash with scalding hot water.”
“Pull over, Salvatore.”
“I want—”
“Pull over.”
I did. Lucia reached over and wrapped her arms around me. I buried my face in her shoulder and wept like no man should weep. “I’ve never wanted to leave a place so badly. I’ve never wanted to leave a person—”
“Shh.”
“So many lives wasted.”
She held me, and I clung to her. A lifetime’s worth of pain and sadness welled out of me. So much was lost for so many of us, all of it so pointless, so unnecessary. So much death, so much anger and jealousy and hate. So much I needed to purge until there was nothing left, nothing at all but this broken, exhausted body.
When I pulled back, I found Lucia’s face stained with tears. She wiped mine away, just kept brushing my face with her thumbs, looking at me, looking at me, not letting me go.
“Don’t leave,” I said finally. “I don’t want to lose you, Lucia. Not you too. You deserve so much better than this, than me…” She hugged me to her again, fresh tears pouring from her eyes. “I have no right…”
“Come with me,” she said, pulling back. “Come with me now, and we’ll start again. A new beginning.”
I shook my head. “I shouldn’t have asked…I’m—my world, Lucia, it’s dark. It’s so damn dark inside. You deserve light. You deserve carefree and happy and light. So much light.”
“And you don’t think you do? You stubborn fool.”
She kissed me, a salty kiss.
“My brother—”
“Come with me,” she said again, this time more firmly. “Right now. We’ll drive. Come with me, please, Salvatore.”
“I love you, do you know that?” How could a grown man weep like this?
“It’s you who doesn’t know I love you.”
When she kissed me that time, something inside me shifted. I felt it like a physical thing in my chest, my gut. I squeezed my eyes shut and felt her, her body in my arms, her lips on mine, her tears wet on my face. I kissed her back, inhaling deeply, my tongue inside her mouth, my hands pulling her closer and closer because I couldn’t be away again. I couldn’t have her away again. And so, when we pulled back, I smiled and turned the car around, and I drove south, leaving everything behind and just driving away with the girl I loved beside me.