She nodded but avoided his gaze. “You said you didn’t care for small spaces. I asked how you would know the room was small if you were sleeping.”
“Right.” Lord, she was beautiful. Even though she was soaking wet and wearing a coat two sizes too big he was still certain he had never seen anyone look so good. “I can’t get to sleep if the room is small.”
She looked up then, curiosity breaking past the awkwardness that enveloped them. “Why?”
He stopped the words before they escaped. He couldn’t talk about that. “Can’t a man have some secrets?”
“You’re nothing but secrets. It seems you know a lot about me, but I don’t know anything about you,” she said, searching his face for answers. Every instinct he possessed told him he was treading on risky territory and it was time to retreat. Sharing intimate secrets with this woman had already led to one grave lapse in judgment. He could not chance another. Yet he made no effort to dislodge her and move away.
“You know my name,” he said. It was more than anyone else knew. He’d changed it countless times over the years until he’d almost forgotten what it sounded like. It sounded good. At least, it did when she said it.
“Where are you from?”
He shrugged and the movement caused her to readjust her position. Her hip nudged against his groin, adding an emticing pressure against a painful swelling. He swallowed.
“I’m a drifter,” he told her.
“I don’t think you are,” she said, resting her head on his shoulder once more. The motion surprised him. He had expected that, once her senses returned, she would want to put as much distance between them as possible. Instead, she continued the contact, behaving as if the kiss had never happened.
He didn’t know whether to be relieved or insulted.
“What do you mean?”
“I think you’re just a man who’s been drifting.”
“What’s the difference?”
It was her turn to shrug. When she spoke, he could tell the exhaustion of the past week had caught up with her, and the heat from the stove and their bodies had begun to lull her to sleep. “You don’t seem to like it much...drifting. I saw your face when we rode up to the ranch. You looked like a man who...” She took a deep breath and relaxed further into his arms.
“Looked like a man who what?” What had she seen?
“It feels really nice here,” she whispered, her voice fading. Was she still talking about the ranch? Or her current position on his lap?
“Rachel?”
She had grown pliant in his arms. Caleb pulled his head back and glanced down. Her eyes had closed. Dark shadows smudged beneath the crescent shape of her long lashes.
“Mmm?”
He moved to ease her off him, but her fingers clung to the front of his coat. “Don’t go,” she mumbled. “Just for one more minute.”
Her request touched a part of him so deep he hadn’t even been aware it existed until her words landed there and stoked the embers. How long had she been deprived the luxury of a good night’s sleep, without worry or fear invading her dreams? How long since she’d had the chance to lie protected in a man’s arms without having to worry everything she’d worked for would fall apart in the morning light?
Could he deny her that?
His arms tightened around her. No.
“You need to get out of this wet coat,” he whispered.
She nodded but didn’t move.
Drawing on what little sanity he had left, Caleb reached between their bodies and fumbled with the buttons on her coat, releasing them one by one, then doing the same with his. He shrugged out of his before coaxing her out of hers, all the while trying to ignore the soft press of her breasts against his wool shirt, or how quickly her body heat permeated the thin cotton of her nightdress where his hand rested against her back.
This was his penance for his rash behavior. This slow unyielding torture.
But unless you shall do penance, you shall all likewise perish.
Caleb shook the verse from Luke out of his head and reached for one of the blankets behind them. He pulled it over her and eased her down against the pillow. One of her hands curled in his shirt, aware of his presence, refusing him the option of slipping away. Resigned, he tucked the blanket tightly around her then lay down next to her.
She nestled closer, furthering his torment. Caleb slipped his arm around her and rested his chin on top of her head. Within minutes her breathing deepened and he knew she had succumbed to sleep.
He wished he could be so lucky. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d experienced a restful night’s sleep.
One thing was for certain—he wouldn’t this night.