I snort at that one. Greta Galway is old-school Dark Saints, and the idea of Agent Marlow trying to somehow “enlighten” her about her grandson’s wicked ways is actually comical to imagine.
“Dude, this is just part of the game, you know that,” my brother says with a sigh. “And they’re getting bolder and antsier right now because they know that sooner than later, Aela’s going to move us to strictly legit business dealings, and the window for putting our pasty, drunk little Southie asses in jail starts to close. Look, so Marlow fucking cornered her and gave her a phone. She didn’t call him, she obviously didn’t give you up. So what’s the fucking problem?”
“Everything,” I snap. “She’s nothing like this life, and I had no business bringing her into this shit. She’s too fucking innocent, and too smart, and too young, and-”
“Young? Do I need to be worried here?”
I roll my eyes. “I’m not Damien. She’s twenty-three.”
“Hardly robbing the cradle, Con.”
“Regardless, she’s got no business getting mixed up in what we do.”
“So cut her loose. If this is no big deal and just some little piece on the side for you, let her go.”
I bristled, my jaw tightening. “I never said she and I were-”
“Fucking?” Liam makes a tsking sound with his teeth. “Tell me I’m wrong.”
I’m silent, scowling out at the water.
“Yeah, exactly. So, if you’re just screwing her and you’re this bent out of shape about all of the ways she’s not a Southie chick, then let it go.”
“And if she goes straight to the FBI and starts talking?”
“About what, how small your dick is or that you like to cry while making love?”
“Motherfucker.”
Liam laughs. “Con, I don’t say this often because I know that being wound so tight is kind of your thing, and it’s what makes you fucking great at what you do. But as your brother and not a fellow captain?”
“What,” I growl.
“You need to cool the fuck down. Relax, man. What does she even know? Where you live? Yeah, so does Marlow, apparently.”
“She watched me shoot a man, Liam,” I spit.
“One witness, who was drunk, and who is now completely unusable by any prosecutor in the world because she’s been fucking you, which means she’s compromised.”
We sit in silence for a second, me just staring out at the ocean.
“Been a while since I heard you talking about someone like this, man.”
“It’s nothing,” I growl.
“No, the girls you usually spend all of an hour or two banging - at their place and then never calling again are nothing.”
“She’s just-”
“Connor.”
“What.”
“You can lie to yourself all you want, but don’t lie to me.”
I sigh. “Aela around? I should fill her in on-”
“Don’t worry about Aela. I’ll catch her up.”
“I mean Aela our boss, not Aela your fiancée.”
“Blurred lines, man.”
I grin. “Fine.”
“Look, I can’t tell you what to do here, but I know that in this life of ours, you gotta hang onto the good parts. Jesus, Connor, you need to accept that sometimes, good shit will happen to you. I think you’ve probably forgotten that because you’ve spent the last twenty years fixing everything around you just like I was fighting it all until Aela.”
“It’s family or her, Liam.”
He swears. “It’s not that black and white, you fucker. Nothing is.”
We’re quiet for another minute.
“Sometimes it is,” I finally say quietly.
Liam sighs. “Same old stubborn asshole,” he mutters.
“Like you said, it’s why I’m good at what I do.”
“You deserve something good, Con,” my brother says quietly. “She’s not Sheila.”
I close my eyes, my jaw clenching painfully tight. “I know that.”
“What was going on with her was bigger than something you could just fix.”
“I know th-”
“Do you? You can’t fix the world, Connor.”
“But I can stop making mistakes that mess it up more,” I say evenly.
Mistakes like bringing someone like Sierra into a world like this. Mistakes like letting fucking emotions and my bullshit heart call the shots instead of my head. Instead of reason.
Because the truth of it is, there is no good reason for a girl like that to be anything with a guy like me. I’m too broken, too dirty.
Too dangerous.
And she’s good. She’s good manifested in beautiful, perfect, kind, loving, human form. And being this close to me will only destroy her.