And eventually, the world always finds out where you’re hiding. That I know.
But in this perfect moment of bliss, sitting here with the waves and the sea air, and the moon shining bright, and my heart filled with…well, something, I choose to ignore the things that chased me here. School, Jayson, my family, the goddamn Ukrainian mob - all of it simmers away as I lay back and listen to the waves.
Just enough like home to give me comfort.
Just enough not home to make me feel whole.
“Didn’t peg you for a stargazer.”
I grin and look up and behind me as he steps out of the kitchen door.
“You didn’t?”
He grins. “Nah, that’s a lie. You’ve got science nerd written all over you.”
I stick my tongue out at him. “Dick.”
“Only if you say please.”
I snort a laugh. “Haven’t worn you out yet, have I?” I glance down at his bare-chested torso, my eyes flitting down to his jeans and bare feet, the denim slung low on his chiseled hips in a way that makes me suck my lip between my teeth.
“Down girl,” Connor chuckles in that deep baritone, sauntering towards me and sinking into the wicker loveseat next to me. We sit there side by side for a minute, just looking out over the moon-white sands and the surf beyond, just waiting in the silence of that moment.
And I guess there are words we could be speaking. There are questions we could be asking each other, and plans we could be planning for what comes next.
Or we could just sit here, just like this.
…Which seems absolutely perfect to me.
Connor puts an arm around me, pulling me against him as we sit there in the dark, and I know then that there aren’t any words needed. We don’t have to find a way to explain how the drunk girl on the edge of a breakdown and the gangster who kidnapped her after shooting a man somehow found themselves here, like this. We don’t have to question the foundation of that or wonder how healthy it is for either of us to have started sleeping together and pretending the world and all of its problems don’t exist.
For now, we can just sit here in this perfect moment, and just forget the world around us is even turning.
“I should take a picture of this.”
He grins, turning his head to look at me.
“Of the dark beach?”
“No, of-” I trail off with a shrug, suddenly feeling stupid for thinking it.
Of us, sitting here like this, I want to say. But I don’t.
Because I’m fully aware of what this is, especially with a man like Connor. This is an escape - a vacation from life itself. But like all vacations, eventually, we’ll have to go back to our lives. Eventually, we’ll have to go back to our jobs and our homes, and sort through our mail, and water the plants, and change the away message on our voicemails.
Eventually, this has to end, which is why I want to snap a picture of this moment in time so I can remember it later.
“What?”
I shake my head. “Forget it, you’re right. It wouldn’t come out at all.”
“Just gonna give up just like that, huh?”
I roll my eyes as I turn to grin at him. “You have this thing for trying to get under my skin don’t you?”
“You do have great skin.”
I roll my eyes and turn back to the beach when he clears his throat.
“How about us?”
I glance at him, a brow raised. “Us?”
Connor clears his throat, shrugging neutrally. “Yeah, a picture of you and me being total beach bums.”
I swallow, my eyes darting over his face, trying to read him.
“You know, for you to look at later.”
My heart flips.
“It can be your zen thing for when you’re thinking about burning down another building.”
I roll my eyes, the tension suddenly deflating as I turn and punch him in the arm.
“Dick.”
“Told you, you’re going to have to ask nicer than that.”
I grin, biting my lip. “You need a magic word or something?”
“Please does open all sorts of doors.”
“Doors to your cock.”
He growls lowly in his throat. “I think I could watch your mouth say that word all day.”
My eyes flash, and the heat pulses through me. “Oh this mouth?” I blow him an exaggerated kiss. “Saying cock?”
Connor’s jaw tenses. “Say it again, and I might just have to make you eat your words.”
I blush wildly, as his eyes flash.
“But first,” he suddenly stands from the loveseat. “I think we should take that picture.”
I roll my eyes to cover the shiver from the tension he’s just left me with. “My phone’s right inside if you want to grab it.”
Connor winks as he yanks the kitchen door open and steps in. I turn back to the ocean again, hugging the blanket around myself and grinning like a complete idiot.