It was an eventuality. It was something bound to happen - the final boiling point whistle of a kettle or something. It’s like me fucking her was always going to happen, since the moment she pulled me around in that bar and kissed me.
But the important thing to remind myself is that that is all it is. It’s what I remind myself ten more times that night, lying on my couch listening to her fall asleep later.
Listening to the pounding of my own heart.
I’ve been playing it cool after what happened earlier - crashing here on the couch even though all I want is to go to that bed, slip in behind her and pull her close.
Well, that and fuck her a third time, because I’ve still got that in me, and then pull her close.
But that’s off the table. I’ve crossed too many lines already here, what with fucking the witness. Actually sleeping together is a line I won’t go over.
And at some point, soon, I still need to figure out what the fuck I’m going to say to Liam and Aela about this. At some point, us pretending the rest of the world doesn’t exist while we play hide-out in my loft has to end.
This is going to come to a head at some point, one way or another. And when it does and everyone I know and care about - who I’ve been lying to - realizes I’ve got some college girl living with me who watched me shoot a guy, well…
Shit’s going to hit the fan in a big way.
In the meantime, here I am still wanting her. Here I am still wanting to cross the distance between this couch and that bed and make her mine entirely.
But I can’t, so I close my eyes and try and grab at sleep instead.
It’s a tough one to catch.
I wake up early.
Too early, actually, and I frown as I realize it’s still dark outside. My eyes dart around the loft, trying to figure out why I’m up as I slowly sit upright on the couch. And that’s when I glance down to see my phone - silent, but lighting up with a call from Liam.
Shit. Forgot I turned the ringer off.
I shake away the last of sleep and snatch the phone up, swiping it open.
“Jesus, man, it’s fucking four in the morn-”
“Conner!”
My brother roars my name, instantly grabbing my full attention. I’m up instantly.
“What’s going on.”
“Dude answer your fucking phone!”
“Sorry,” I hiss. “Had it on silent. “What’s-”
“You need to get the fuck out of there; now!”
I freeze. “My place?”
“Yes!” Liam bellows. I hear him starting the engine of a car, his voice harried. “Ukrainians were just spotted in huge numbers rolling through Southie.”
“Oh fuck.”
“Yeah, no shit,” he spits. “Aela’s calling a meeting right now. Looks like a war’s brewing.”
I jump from the couch, glancing around for my pants. “Okay, sit tight, I’m on my-”
“No, Con, you’re not listening!” Liam’s voice twists with emotion. “Dude, you’ve been made. They’re heading right for you.”
Something cold slices through me as I yank my pants on. I stride to one of the big factory windows, and pull back the corner of the heavy shade, glancing out at the barely cresting light on the broken parking lot outside.
“No other spot they could be headed for, man,” Liam says tightly, on speakerphone now with the sound of an engine roaring in the background. “They’re gunning right fucking for you. I’m on the way and I’ve got people getting their asses to you right now, but you need to get the fuck out of there.”
My younger brother’s voice cracks a little.
“Get the fuck out of there, brother.”
I’m already moving to my bookshelf, pulling it back from the wall on the hidden hinge and grabbing the array of guns off the wall behind it. Three Beretta pistols, a shotgun, my Colt .45 and a shitload of ammunition get dumped into the duffel bag in my hands in a matter of seconds.
“I’m gone. I’ll be out of here in two minutes.”
“Good,” Liam says darkly, a horn blaring in the background as I’m sure he blows past someone or through a light.
“You know where-”
“I’m going to the beach house.”
“Yeah, good thought.”
And I’m about to tell him. In all honesty, I’m about to just tell him about Sierra, because at this point, why am I not telling my brother about her?
But he swears at something on the road, there’s another horn blast, and I’m right back in the moment.
And the moment screams for me to fucking act right now. Talking can come later after I get us the fuck out of here and hopefully before the Ukrainian mob comes crashing through my fucking door.