"When we first met, you told me that you were an adrenaline junkie and that you scared girls off when they got to know you. It seems to me that the kind of girl you would want to marry is always going to run from you. A girl who wants to do nothing but party and play would be fine with your dangerous adventures. But you aren't looking for a party girl, you want substance. You want a family. But, a girl who wants to settle down, have a mortgage, get pregnant and have those two point three kids, that kind of woman wants someone who is stable, safe. Not someone who jumps off the side of mountains and out of perfectly good airplanes. If she wants the family and kids thing, she'll want a husband who doesn't engage in death-defying stunts on a regular basis."
He leaned forward and put his head in his hands. "I know."
"But jumping off mountains and out of perfectly good airplanes is part of what defines you, it's who you are. If you cut back on your adventures to make a wife more secure someday, you'll still be compromising part of yourself in order to have your wife and kids' life."
"I know, Kendra. I know."
She was quiet a moment, and he didn't offer anything else. She realized that she didn't have anything else to add to the conversation without his input. "Okay. I'll walk you upstairs so you can get home now. You should put your shirt and shoes on."
He looked up, pain showing in his face. "We're through talking?"
"Is there anything else you want to say?"
"I don't get the feeling that everything is okay again."
She threw her hands out in exasperation, "How can it be? You are still conflicted, Eric. I get that you have feelings for me, and that you are sorry you made me regret submitting to you. But, you still have conflicted feelings. I can smell them on you, and I can hear them in your voice. We'll go out on some dates, take it slow, see where that takes us. Your conflicted feelings aren't just about me, you've had to face the fact that it's going to be very hard to find a woman who can deal with your adrenaline stuff, and then to find one that is also submissive... the odds aren't in your favor. You've realized you may have to change part of who you are in order to get that ideal, and now there is a different possibility in front of you. One that you think could make you happy, and one that would allow you to continue your adventures and continue being who you are. You know that I'd never ask you not to do something just because it was dangerous. But, this other possible life means you give up on some of those ideals you thought you wanted in a marriage. I get that the decision isn't so much about me, it's that no matter which path you decide you want, you have to give something up. But I think that you are over-analyzing things right now given that we've had two nights and a few conversations together. I've called Abbot and he is walking down the stairs now, I'm going to ask him to walk you upstairs and to your car. I will see you Saturday night at sundown. Assuming you still want to take me out on a date."
Kendra walked to the door and opened it as Abbot walked up. She asked Abbot if he would see Eric to his car and when she saw his nod she walked down the hallway to her own suite of rooms.
Chapter Nine
Saturday morning Kendra showered and then pulled out the clothes she would wear on her date with Eric so all she had to do was arise and dress. One of the benefits of dying instead of sleeping was that she didn't move around, so her hair wouldn't need much touching up.
Kendra still wasn't really sure what she was doing. Common sense told her to just write Eric off and go find someone who would make a good human companion. However, she'd lived a long time and learned that people who are truly special don't come around very often, and Eric seemed to be one of those people. She had also been around long enough to know that just because someone was special, it didn't mean a relationship would work. If all parties weren't ready for a relationship, if they didn't have their shit together, it still wouldn't work out. Finding someone special was not a guarantee it would work out. Was she willing to risk a broken heart on the chance he might figure things out? Not really, but the reverse was true as well, she wasn't willing to walk away, because she thought there was still a chance he might figure it out. Which meant she was kind of stuck with giving him a chance. She was having a hard time investing her heart back into the possibilities, though.
* * * *
As always, it seemed she had closed her eyes as the sun came up and then opened them as it was preparing to hide for the night. She never had a sense of any time lost during the day. Pulling open the mini-fridge by her bed, she reached for a bag of blood and poured it into a glass. Drinking it down quickly, she then walked into the bathroom to wash her glass out in the bathroom sink, brush her hair and touch it up, brush her teeth, and then apply her makeup. She put on the clothes she'd put out the night before, and then waited until she felt the sun go completely down before slipping her heels on and climbing the steps. The doorbell rang as she was walking towards the front of the house, she opened the door and stepped out. "Hello, Eric. Perfect timing. How did you manage that?"