Safeword: Storm Clouds(34)

And then she suddenly realized why she was so emotional about this man. She lowered her voice, the vampires were back in the vampire room and there were several loud rooms between that room and this one, but still, she didn't want anyone to overhear this. "Did it occur to you that I haven't submitted to anyone in over a thousand years, and that I made myself pretty emotionally vulnerable to you when I submitted to you? If the tables had been turned and you submitted to me and then the next night as soon as you saw me I freaked and said I needed time to think and it was almost a week before you heard from me again, how the hell would you handle that? I just realized it, but I've distanced myself emotionally from you. I've been avoiding anything that might close up that distance, because I'm pretty sure you are going to freak again and then I'll just have to do it all over again. Look, I can't do this here, not in front of people." She turned to face the bar, looking down into her drink, "Please leave. Now."

"I will leave because I've caused you pain and I don't want to cause you any more, and because there is nothing I can do to fix this right this minute. It is not because I'm avoiding having to talk about this, though. I can't believe I didn't consider how you would feel with me pulling away like that after... after... I'm sorry Kendra. I'll go, but know that I don't want to. I want to take away the hurt I've caused, but I can't do that right now. Not here. God, I'm sorry."

And he got up and walked out.





Chapter Eight





When Kendra got home she could tell something was up. Abbot was there and he said, "There is something you need to see."

He took her downstairs to the playroom door and pulled his key out to unlock it. It was only locked if someone were inside playing, and only five people had a key to the room. And you just didn't use your key unless you thought there was an emergency of some sort. He opened the door and motioned for her to go in and then closed the door without following her in.

Eric was naked, kneeling on the floor, head up, eyes lowered, with his hands behind his head.

Abbot, what the hell? Why is Eric in here naked?

Eric contacted me, told me of your fight and asked me to do this. Said he didn't know how to make it right. He begged me to let him in so he could submit to you. I've got everyone upstairs right now, no one is on the basement level but the two of you. I've got radios on in several rooms downstairs, plus one at the bottom of the steps. That room is partially soundproof to muffle loud screams anyway, so the two of you should be able to talk quietly without being overheard. Give him a chance Kendra, I think he really cares for you.

Fucking stupid mortal man. And fucking stupid vampire, too.

Talk to him Kendra.

Dammit, what the hell was she supposed to do with this?

"Eric, what are you doing?" Her voice came out sharper than she'd intended.

"I don't know any other way to... fix things. I screwed up Kendra. I got all wrapped up in myself, in what you being a vampire meant to our relationship. What I did was unforgivable and I won't blame you for never submitting to me again. You offered me something so... so.. special, and I blew it. The only thing I can think of is to make myself vulnerable to you, too. Not because I want you to submit to me again, but because I want you in my life and I need to do something to try to make things right. Not that this will do it, but maybe it will be a start. Please, Kendra, just saying I'm sorry isn't good enough. I need to do something to show you."

She made an attempt to soften her voice, he was trying, and even though she couldn't do this now, she had to give him credit for offering. "You can't submit to me like this. If you ever submit to me then it will be under different circumstances, but...", she sighed and looked away from him a few seconds before looking back, "I appreciate the sentiment."

"You're turning me down?"

"Please get up and put your clothes on Eric. Yes, I'm turning you down, but I will talk to you. Like I said, I appreciate the sentiment."

The playroom had a little seating area with a loveseat and a few chairs. Kendra walked over to one of the chairs and sat down. "You know, we've only spent two nights together. The first night we rappelled, and the second night I told you about me and then we went on the boat ride and then.. well.. you know. But still, two nights, Eric. It is ridiculous that things are this heavy already."

He was standing now and stepping into his pants. Once he had them up and zipped he said, "And yet, here we are."



"We are going to slow things down, Eric. We are going to slow things way the fuck down."



He said, "Okay", as sat down on the loveseat, still wearing just his pants. Damn, he needed more clothes on.