When they reached the top he laid the blanket out. It was waterproof nylon on one side and soft fluffy fleece on the other side, a pretty cool concept. She took her boots off and sat with her legs criss-crossed and he sat down beside her and pulled her to him, tucking her up under his arm as they both looked out over the river.
"Kendra, I missed you."
She didn't say anything, though she did allow him to hold her. It felt good.
After a few moments he said, "Now you are supposed to tell me you missed me, too."
"Eric, I told you how I felt. I told you I wanted a relationship with you, whatever kind of relationship you are interested in, we'll find a way to make it work. I told you I like you, and that I want to spend time with you. You make me feel alive and it's been a long time since someone made me feel that way. Knowing that, it should be obvious that I've missed you, shouldn't it? The ball is in your court now. Do something with it."
He pulled back from her. "You sound angry."
She realized he was right. She was angry. She liked him and he didn't know what to do, and that put her out of control, and it made her heart hurt. But being angry at him wouldn't solve anything. She hugged her knees up to her chest, wrapped her arms around her legs, and looked out at the water. "I'm sorry. I'm angry at the situation I guess, but not at you. Sometimes it sucks to be a vampire."
He spoke in short sentences, as if he wasn't really sure of himself, or wasn't sure of what he was saying. "Okay then. I want to see you, do things with you. I want to date you. But I can't be exclusive with you. We should both continue to date other people. I don't know where we'll end up and this is as good as I can do for now. I can't stand the idea of saying goodbye to you, but I'm also not ready to say goodbye to the idea of a traditional wife and family. This is the best I can come up with that lets me be true to how I feel."
"Fair enough, I guess. Thanks for being honest with me, Eric. The Realtor thinks he's got a place that will be coming available soon for my project down by the University, once we find a place that will work I'll be busy for the next couple of months from sundown until around 11:00 as I deal with decorators and contractors and the application for a liquor license and hiring people and ordering supplies and coming up with a menu and, well, there is a lot to do. I've put myself on the on-call list, to fill in when Abbot has someone call in sick somewhere, but unless I get called to help somewhere I should have free time from probably midnight until dawn most nights, so call or email me if you want to see me, I guess."
"No, Kendra, I'm not going to let you leave it like that."
"What do you mean you aren't going to let me leave it like that? You are the one who is still not so sure about a relationship. I absolutely will not push you into something you aren't sure about. So yes, you are going to have to come up with date ideas and then ask me out. I need to know you are at least invested enough in our relationship to do that much."
Dammit, she was getting emotional. What was it with this man? She hugged her legs harder and thought about just disappearing on him again. They had probably said all that needed to be said, he knew he needed to call her and ask her out on a date, what more was there to say?
"Kendra, here, let go of your legs, it's okay. Let me hold you. I seem to have hurt you by taking so long to try to figure things out. I'm sorry, I should have called you sooner. I worked on the proposal and tried to give myself time to think. I figured I'd just see you when I got the proposal done and met Abbot and Josef at the house with it, but then you weren't there. I'm sorry, you're so strong, so confident, so... worldly, I never imagined I could hurt you. Please don't shut down on me."
Finally, she could hear in his words that he wanted her. Everything he'd said up until then had been spoken as if he wasn't sure of what he was saying, and finally he was sure of something. But, for how long? Just until something freaked him out again? Stupid mortal man. She should just walk away from him, save herself the heartache. Sure, he could make her feel alive now, but what happened when he met some cute hang glider somewhere and they started dating and decided to get married. She could never compete with that, and if the cute hang glider was what he really wanted then Kendra shouldn't even try to compete. She'd be as pathetic as Jake, thinking Angel would be his if only Kye would go away. She felt her eyes threatening to water, she had to go.
"I need to get to TBR. Call me if you want to do something and I'll have to see how busy I am."
And she disappeared on him. It had taken them five minutes to go up the hill, and she was in her car with the key in the ignition in less than fifteen seconds. She was pulling out of the marina onto the street when her cellphone rang, it was Eric.