"No, it just means you love him. I've no doubt you freely exercise your sadistic tendencies when you're in the mood. Taking his wants and needs into account just means you're responsible, that's all."
"Is there anything about this weekend you'd have changed?"
She hesitated, but assumed he wouldn't have asked if he didn't want an honest answer. “Yeah, I wish you'd taken the metal thing off, so I could've played with him more. I mean, it was hot realizing he couldn't... but it punished us as much as him."
"I left it on because I wasn't sure how Zach would handle seeing you and Jacob together. I figured if we didn't make him watch Jacob fuck you the first time, it might give him a chance to get used the idea of the woman he cares about enjoying herself with another man. I'll leave it off if the two of you play again, unless he's in it for punishment, in which case it'll stay locked on."
Her heart swelled at his thoughtfulness, but she worried about Jacob's feelings. “Did Jacob know why he was wearing it?"
"Not during dinner, but I explained it while he was kneeling before me, when Zach got you ready for him. I don't always give reasons, but felt it called for in this situation."
"I feel bad, in a way, that he's still got a punishment coming for flirting with me. What are you planning to do?"
He laughed. “You feel bad, and you feel even worse that you're turned on by it?"
She shifted, uncomfortable when she realized he was right. “Yeah. Maybe."
"He'll spend ten minutes with a bar of soap stuffed almost all the way in his mouth, his hands restrained over his head while he holds a soapy enema, toes barely reaching the floor. That's for his mouth saying something it shouldn't. He also disobeyed a direct order, so when he's released the enema we'll do an hour of intense puppy training, with him in his doggie hood, mitts, weights pulling his balls down, and the butt plug tail he detests. An hour of sit, down, heel, come, stay, fetch, beg, roll over, barking on command... and a belt to the ass every time he doesn't react as fast as I think he should. He finds puppy training deeply humiliating and degrading; I find it an excellent reinforcement exercise to remind him all direct orders from me must be obeyed."
Dana found herself squirming with the idea of one person having such profound power over another. “I'm conflicted—the concept of TPE turns me on, but I can't imagine agreeing to give anyone so much control over me. Garnet had it for periods of time, but it wasn't an everyday thing."
"It doesn't have to be. We have many days where our power exchange is an undercurrent—he speaks respectfully, discusses instead of arguing, but otherwise we're a mostly normal couple. Then we may go several days where it's front and center, where I give him orders just to watch him follow them, where I need to hurt him, and I do."
"But, even when it's in the background, it's still there. I don't know if I'm a submissive or a switch, how can I... and what if Zach can't hurt me like I need? A sub shouldn't be able to make those kinds of demands, should she?"
"Don't underestimate how much power the submissive wields. There's no doubt in my mind that if I didn't fulfill my obligations in our contract, it could cause a rift, and may eventually break us up. For instance—I promised him sex with women, because it's a need he has. He loves me, and we'd likely be okay awhile if I stopped arranging it, but sooner or later he'd become resentful and I'd run the risk of damaging our trust, our foundation. My job is to make sure both of our needs are met. If I hadn't been comfortable with his needs I couldn't have agreed to a relationship with him, no matter how much I loved him."
She was considering her response when he changed the subject. “You should know Zach asked me for Max's number and I gave it to him, as he wanted it for information and not to cause problems. He really does care about you.” He smiled. “I approve of him, very much. He's good for you."
"I'm not sure it's fair to drag him through my issues right now. I thought I'd figured things out, and was ready to start dating again, but now I realize maybe I'm not."
"I imagine you've figured out more than you think, and shutting him out now would be terribly unfair. Just be honest with him, and keep communication open."
Dana was through with the deep conversation for now. “Jacob thinks you have secret passages."
He smiled. “Yes, he's pretty smart, isn't he? Come, I'll show you—but you have to agree to not speak of them with him."
"Okay, I loved his description of the games you play with him out here."
Brent walked to the back of the room and opened a narrow door. “He assumes my shortcut is a straight path through the maze, he's never considered I had a tunnel put in."