A throat cleared behind them and they pulled apart.
“Hate to break it up, but we gotta go.” Jared leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed. He wore jeans, a brown polo shirt, and boots.
“Jared! You dressed up,” Lola teased, grabbing Jack’s hand as they walked.
“Yeah, well, don’t get used to it,” he grumbled, heading out before them.
It was warm out, but there was a nice breeze. Lola smelled flowers and sunshine. It was too beautiful a day to ruin it with ghosts from the past. She straightened her back, her resolve returning.
You can do this.
When they got to the porch, Jack pulled her back. Lola looked at him in question. “What were you talking about when I got here, about not being able to do something?”
Lola looked to where Blair and Jared waited for them by her aunt’s car. “Seeing my old house. It just…it’s upsetting. It’s silly, I know.”
“No. It’s not silly at all, Lola. Don’t minimize your fears. But…” He put an arm around her and hugged her to him as they walked. “The house didn’t hurt you; the people inside it did. Just remember that.”
“And what about my mom?”
Jack gave her a fierce look. “Your mother gave up the best thing she had in her life. I know you miss her, I know you’re confused and have all sorts of questions for her. But you’re better than her, Lola, you’re better than all of this.
“She wronged you, not the other way around. You didn’t do anything wrong. You didn’t deserve what happened to you. She’s the one that needs to feel bad, not you.
“Sometimes there are no answers. You have to accept that. Maybe you’ll never know what you think you need to know, but do you really need to know all the details, really? You know she wasn’t there when you needed her, she still isn’t here when you need her, but look around, Lola.” Jack opened his arms wide. “You got me. You got your aunt. Jared. Sebastian. Rachel. Even Isabelle.
“You need to realize that and move on, as best you can. I had to realize that myself. When you let go of the pain and hurt and unanswered questions, Lola, then you’ll be okay. You’re safe now.” Jack pressed a kiss to her forehead. “You’re safe now. Remember that. Believe that.”
Lola couldn’t move, couldn’t speak; stunned by his words, stunned by how very true they were. Her heart pounded as his words sank in, melting warmth trickling through her.
“Oh my God, I love you. You’re so smart,” she finally said, breathless.
Jack laughed.
“Can you, like, write that down for me so I can remind myself daily?”
He tapped his head. “It’s all up here, Lola, even if only subconsciously.” Jack propelled her toward the car.
17
The party was dying down as the sun set. The Jones’ backyard had been turned into a party palace, complete with a dance floor and DJ. Black and silver streamers littered chairs, tables, and the large canopy the tables and chairs sat under. Citronella candles marginally helped to keep the mosquitos at bay.
Sebastian had decided to wait until the party was over to open gifts. Lola was glad; the pile was huge. But hers she needed him to open before she left.
She sat at a table by herself. Jack and Sebastian were talking across the backyard, Jack’s eyes on her. They appeared to be getting along so she didn’t want to interrupt them. Lola smiled when Jack winked at her.
Lola turned her head and watched the horizon with its oranges and reds and pinks and tranquility lapped over her.
The house had just been that; a house. Same as last time. Lola had stared at it for a minute, feeling emptiness more than anything, and turned away before stronger emotions had a chance to override her newfound acceptance.
“I love your boyfriend,” Blair announced, sitting down beside Lola with a plate of cake in her hand. She offered a second plate to Lola, but she shook her head. Blair shrugged and ate from both plates.
“Really? Why?”
“Yes, really. Everything he said to you before we left, all those awesome words that came from his magnificent brain, were all things I was thinking and didn’t know how to put into words. He’s a genius. This cake is so good.”
“Have you been drinking, Blair?”
She squinted one eye and measured with her fingers. “Little bit.”
Jared appeared behind Blair’s chair. He watched her eat her two pieces of cake, a strange expression on his face. It took a moment for Lola to realize it was wonder.
Lola turned her head to hide a smile.
“Hi, Jared! Want some cake? Oh. It’s gone. Sorry. I’m tired.” Blair’s head fell back against Jared as her eyes closed, body going limp.