Safe With Me, Baby(18)

“Thanks for calling to give me the results.” My voice came out soft and shaky, the complete opposite of how I usually spoke. My normal confidence had been replaced by nerves that just wouldn’t quit. When I made the decision to move to Atlanta, I knew my life was going to change—I just hadn’t been prepared for quite how much it did. Even with all of Xander’s talk about getting me pregnant over the last couple weeks, I hadn’t expected it to actually happen. Not even after the urine test came back positive. But there was no doubting it anymore; I was pregnant with Xander’s baby.

“Us,” my baby daddy—holy shit, there was a phrase I never expected to be able to use—corrected as I disconnected from the call.

“Hmm?” I asked dazedly, sinking onto the plush cushions of the couch when my knees felt like they were going to give out. It was a new one that had turned up in the living room the day after I moved into Xander’s house. I’d complained about his furniture choices since everything was black leather and chrome. The next thing I knew, it was all hauled away and replaced with new furnishings that worked well with all my stuff.

I still had no idea how he’d known what my things looked like since the truck didn’t arrive until a few days after the new furniture he’d ordered. He’d refused to tell me when I’d asked, offering me a mysterious smile instead. Whatever stunt he’d pulled, it worked out well for me because I loved the new stuff he bought. But it did make me wonder what else he had up his sleeve.

“You told the doctor’s office thank you for calling to give you the results—but you should have said us instead because I’m in this as much as you are.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Umm, no. I’m the one who’s going to gain all the weight, get poked and prodded at all the doctor’s appointments, and will go through labor and delivery.”

“But I’ll be with you every step of the way.” He dropped down to his knees in front of me and pressed a gentle kiss to my belly. “With the way you’re talking, I’m assuming it’s official? The blood test was positive, too?”

“Yeah.” I smiled softly at him. It was hard to stay irritated with him when he was being so damn sweet. Or at least it was when I was pumped full of pregnancy hormones. The next eight and a half months were bound to be interesting.

“Fuck yeah!” he whooped, jumping to his feet and lifting me off the couch and into the air.

“Shit,” I hissed, feeling lightheaded as he twirled me around.

“What?” he set me on my feet gently, his dark eyes filled with concern. “What is it?”

I plopped back onto the couch and tucked my head between my knees to make the room stop spinning. “No more picking me up like that.”

“Fuck, baby,” he sighed, rubbing my back in soft circles. “I’m sorry. I was so excited; I didn’t even think. I promise I’ll be more careful with you and our little dude from now on.”

“Little dude?” I groaned. “Please tell me you’re not going to be one of those guys who wants a son to carry on his father’s name but hasn’t even considered that he might have a daughter instead.”

“Of course I’ve thought about having a daughter with you,” he assured me. “A little girl with eyes so dark they almost look black at times. But then I also thought about what would happen when she grew up, and boys came around. Unless you want to see me carted off to jail for killing the first boy who breaks her heart, you’d better have a baby boy instead. Carrying on my name is only one of the advantages to having a boy, being around for our children’s whole lives is what it’s really all about.”

“Your name,” I whispered to myself. “Whole lives.”

It finally struck me, exactly why he’d called himself my fiancé back at the doctor’s office. I’d been too distracted by her announcement of the urine test results to put too much thought into it at that moment, but Xander seemed damn confident that I was going to marry him, give him more babies and spend the rest of my life with him. He talked about it like it was a foregone conclusion, but if he knew me better he might realize it wasn’t what he wanted—even if it was a little too late to be thinking like that since I was already pregnant. Having a former CIA operative who’d done the things I had in the line of duty as his baby momma was a fuck of a lot different than having her for his wife and the mother of all his children. If I were a better woman, I would have come clean to him about the things which wouldn’t get me arrested for sharing. But I hadn’t been able to bring myself to do it, yet.