Safe Haven(76)

The house was messy and dirty and Erin would know what he’d done, and even though his thoughts were jumbled, he knew those two things were linked. He paced the living room frantically. Dirty and cheating were linked because cheating was dirty and Erin would know that he’d cheated because the house was dirty, and the two of them went together. Suddenly, he stopped pacing and he strode to the kitchen and found a garbage bag beneath the sink. In the living room, he dropped to his knees and crawled around, filling it with empty takeout containers and magazines and plastic utensils and empty bottles of vodka and pizza boxes. It was well past midnight and he didn’t have to work in the morning, so he stayed awake cleaning the house and doing the dishes and running the vacuum that he’d bought for Erin. He cleaned so she wouldn’t know, because he knew that cheating and dirty went together. He put the dirty clothes in the washer and when they were done he dried them and folded them while other loads were washing and drying. The sun came up and he pulled the cushions from the sofa and vacuumed until all the crumbs were gone. As he worked, he glanced out the window, knowing Erin would be home any minute. He scrubbed the toilet and washed the food stains from the refrigerator and mopped the linoleum. Dawn turned to morning and then to late morning. He washed the sheets and opened the drapes and dusted the frame that held the photograph of their wedding day. He mowed the lawn and emptied the clippings in the garbage can and when he was done he went shopping and bought turkey and ham and Dijon mustard and fresh rye bread from the bakery. He bought flowers and set them on the table. He added candles. When he was finished he was breathing hard. He poured himself a tall, icy glass of vodka and sat at the kitchen table and waited for Erin. He was happy because he’d cleaned the house because it meant that Erin would never know what he’d done and they would have the kind of marriage he’d always wanted. They would trust each other and be happy and he would love her forever and never cheat on her again because why on earth would he ever do something as disgusting as that?





27





Katie got her driver’s license in the second week of July. In the days leading up to her test, Alex had taken her driving regularly, and despite some pretest jitters, she’d passed with a nearly perfect score. The license arrived in the mail within a few days and when Katie opened the envelope, she felt almost dizzy. There was a photograph of her next to a name she’d never imagined having, but according to the state of North Carolina, she was as real as any other resident of the state.

That night, Alex took her to dinner in Wilmington. Afterward, they’d walked the downtown streets holding hands and browsing the shops. Every now and then, she saw Alex regarding her with amusement.

“What?” she finally demanded.

“I was just thinking that you don’t look like an Erin. You look like a Katie.”

“I should look like a Katie,” she said. “That’s my name and I’ve got a driver’s license to prove it.”

“I know you do,” he said. “Now all you need is a car.”

“Why do I need a car?” She shrugged. “It’s a small town and I’ve got a bike. And when it’s raining, there’s this guy who’s willing to drive me anywhere I need to go. It’s almost like having a chauffeur.”

“Really?”

“Uh-huh. And I’m pretty sure that if I asked, he’d even let me borrow his car. I have him wrapped around my little finger.”

Alex cocked an eyebrow. “He doesn’t sound like much of a man.”

“He’s all right,” she teased. “He seemed a little desperate in the beginning, what with all the freebies he gave me, but I eventually got used to it.”

“You have a heart of gold.”

“Obviously,” she said. “I’m pretty much one in a million.”

He laughed. “I’m beginning to think that you’re finally coming out of your shell and I’m beginning to glimpse the real you.”

She walked a few steps in silence. “You know the real me,” she said, stopping to peer up at him. “More than anyone else.”

“I know,” he said, pulling her toward him. “And that’s why I think that somehow we were meant to find each other.”


Though the store was as busy as ever, Alex took a vacation. It was his first in a while, and he spent most afternoons with Katie and the kids, relishing the lazy days of summer in a way he hadn’t since childhood. He fished with Josh and built dollhouses with Kristen; he took Katie to a jazz festival in Myrtle Beach. When the fireflies were out in force, they caught dozens with nets and put them in a jar; later that night, they watched the eerie glow with a mixture of wonder and fascination before Alex finally opened the lid.