Safe Haven(70)
It wasn’t fair. He’d loved her since the first time they met in Atlantic City. And they’d been happy, hadn’t they? Early on in the marriage, she used to sing to herself as she put on her makeup. He used to bring her to the library and she would check out eight or ten books. Sometimes she would read him passages and he would hear her voice and watch the way she leaned against the counter and think to himself that she was the most beautiful woman in the world.
He’d been a good husband. He bought her the house she wanted and the curtains she wanted and the furniture she wanted, even though he could barely afford it. After they were married, he often bought flowers from street vendors on the way home, and Erin would put them in a vase on the table along with candles, and the two of them would have romantic dinners. Sometimes, they ended up making love in the kitchen, her back pressed against the counter.
He never made her work, either, and she didn’t know how good she had it. She didn’t understand the sacrifices he made for her. She was spoiled and selfish and it used to make him so angry because she didn’t understand how easy her life was. Clean the house and make a meal and she could spend the rest of her days reading stupid books she checked out from the library and watching television and taking naps and never having to worry about a utility bill or mortgage payment or people who talked about him behind his back. She never had to see the faces of people who had been murdered. He kept that from her because he loved her, but it had made no difference. He never told her about the children who’d been burned with irons or tossed from the roofs of buildings or women stabbed in the alley and thrown in Dumpsters. He never told her that sometimes he had to scrape the blood from his shoes before he got in the car, and when he looked into the eyes of murderers he knew he was coming face-to-face with evil because the Bible says To kill a person is to kill a living being made in God’s image.
He loved her and she loved him and she had to come home because he couldn’t find her. She could have her happy life again and he wouldn’t hit or punch or slap or kick her if she walked in the door because he’d always been a good husband. He loved her and she loved him and he remembered that on the day he asked her to marry him, she reminded him of the night they’d met outside the casino when the men were following her. Dangerous men. He’d stopped them from hurting her that night, and in the morning they’d walked along the boardwalk and he took her for coffee. She told him that of course she would marry him. She loved him, she’d said. He made her feel safe.
Safe. That was the word she used. Safe.
25
The third week of June was a series of glorious high summer days. The temperature crept up over the course of the afternoon, bringing with it humidity heavy enough to thicken the air and blur the horizon. Heavy clouds would then form as if by magic, and violent thunderstorms would drop torrents of rain. The showers never lasted long, though, leaving behind only dripping leaves and a layer of ground mist.
Katie continued to work long evening shifts at the restaurant. She was tired when she rode home, and in the morning her legs and feet often ached. She put half the money she earned in tips in the coffee can, and it was almost filled to the brim. She had more money than she’d imagined she’d be able to save, more than enough to get away if she had to. For the first time, she wondered whether she needed to add more.
Lingering over her last few bites of breakfast, she stared out the window at Jo’s house. She hadn’t spoken with her since their encounter, and last night, after her shift, she’d seen lights burning in Jo’s kitchen and living room. Earlier this morning, she’d heard her car start up and listened to the crunching of dirt and gravel as it pulled away. She didn’t know what to say to Jo, or even whether she wanted to say anything at all. She couldn’t even decide whether she was angry with her. Jo cared about Alex and the kids; she was worried about them and had expressed her concerns to Katie. It was hard to find malice in anything she’d done.
Alex, she knew, would be by later today. His visits had settled into something of a routine, and when they were together, she was constantly reminded of all the reasons she’d fallen for him in the first place. He accepted her occasional silences and varying moods, and he treated her with a gentleness that astonished and touched her. But since her conversation with Jo, she wondered if she was being unfair to him. What would happen, after all, if Kevin showed up? How would Alex and the kids react if she disappeared, never to return? Was she willing to leave all of them behind and never talk to them again?