But that life was gone now, she reminded herself. Opening the drawers, she pulled out a pair of shorts and the sandals she'd picked up at Anna Jean's. The night before, she'd had wine with a friend, and now she was going to the beach with Alex and his family. These were ordinary events in an ordinary life. The concept felt alien, like she was learning the customs of a foreign land, and it left her feeling strangely elated and wary at exactly the same time.
As soon as she finished dressing, she saw Alex's jeep coming up the gravel road and she drew a long breath as he pulled to a stop in front of her house. Now or never, she thought to herself as she stepped out onto the porch.
"You need to put on your seat belt, Miss Katie," Kristen said from behind her. "My dad won't drive unless you're wearing it."
Alex looked over at her, as if to say, Are you ready for this? She gave him her bravest smile.
"Okay," he said, "let's go."
They reached the coastal town of Long Beach, complete with saltbox houses and expansive views of the sea, in less than an hour. Alex pulled into a small parking lot nestled against the dunes; saw grass billowed nearby in the stiff sea breeze. Katie got out of the car and stared at the ocean, breathing deeply.
The kids climbed out and immediately made for the path between the dunes.
"I'm going to check the water, Dad!" Josh shouted, holding up his mask and snorkel.
"Me, too!" Kristen added, trailing behind.
Alex was busy unloading the back of the jeep. "Hold up," he called out. "Just wait, okay?"
Josh sighed, his impatience obvious as he shifted from one foot to the other. Alex began pulling out the cooler.
"Do you need some help?" Katie asked.
He shook his head. "I can handle this. But would you mind putting some sunscreen on the kids and keeping an eye on them for a few minutes? I know they're excited to be here."
"That's fine," she said, turning to Kristen and Josh. "Are you two ready?"
Alex spent the next few minutes ferrying the items from the car, setting up camp near the picnic table closest to the dune, where high tide wouldn't encroach. Though there were a few other families, for the most part they had this section of beach to themselves. Katie had slipped off her sandals and was standing at the water's edge as the kids splashed in the shallows. Her arms were crossed and even from a distance, Alex noticed a rare expression of contentment on her face.
He slung a couple of towels over his shoulder as he approached. "It's hard to believe there was a storm yesterday, isn't it?"
She turned at the sound of his voice. "I forgot how much I missed the ocean."
"Been awhile?"
"Too long," she said, listening to the steady rhythm of the waves as they gently rolled ashore.
Josh ran in and out of the waves, while off to the side Kristen crouched, searching for collectible seashells.
"It must be hard sometimes, raising them on your own," Katie observed.
Alex hesitated, considering it. When he spoke, his voice was soft. "Most of the time, it isn't so bad. We kind of get into a rhythm, you know? In our daily lives? It's when we do things like this-where there is no rhythm-that it sometimes gets frustrating." He kicked briefly at the sand, making a small furrow at their feet. "When my wife and I talked about having a third child, she tried to warn me that a third child would mean moving from ‘man-to-man' to ‘zone' defense. She used to joke that she wasn't sure I was up to it. But here I am, in zone defense every day … " he trailed off, shaking his head. "Sorry. I shouldn't have said that."
"Said what?"
"It seems like every time I talk to you, I end up talking about my wife."
For the first time, she turned to him. "Why shouldn't you talk about your wife?"
He pushed a pile of sand back and forth, smoothing over the ditch he'd just made. "Because I don't want you to think that I can't talk about anything else. That all I do is live in the past."
"You loved her very much, didn't you?"
"Yes," he answered.
"And she was a major part of your life and the mother of your kids, right?"
"Yes."
"Then it's okay to talk about her," she said. "You should talk about her. She's part of who you are."
Alex flashed a grateful smile but couldn't think of anything to say. Katie seemed to read his mind, and when she spoke, her voice was gentle. "How did the two of you meet?"
"We met in a bar, of all places. She was out with some girlfriends celebrating someone's birthday. It was hot and crowded and the lights were low and the music was loud, and she just … stood out. I mean, all her friends were a little out of control and it was obvious that all of them were having a good time, but she was as cool as can be."
"I'll bet she was beautiful, too."
"That goes without saying," he said. "So, swallowing my nervousness, I wandered over and proceeded to use every ounce of charm I had at my disposal."
When he paused, he noticed the smile playing at the corners of her lips.
"And?" she asked.
"And it still took me three hours to get so much as a name and phone number from her."
She laughed. "And let me guess. You called the next day, right? And asked her out?"
"How would you know that?"
"You seem like the type."
"Spoken like someone who's been hit on more than a few times."
She shrugged, leaving it open to interpretation. "Then what?"
"Why do you want to hear this?"
"I don't know," she admitted. "But I do."
He studied her. "Fair enough," he finally said. "So anyway-as you already magically knew-I asked her out to lunch and we spent the rest of the afternoon talking. That weekend, I told her that the two of us would get married one day."
"You're kidding."
"I know it sounds crazy. Believe me, she thought it was crazy, too. But I just … knew. She was smart and kind and we had a lot in common and we wanted the same things in life. She laughed a lot and she made me laugh, too … honestly, of the two of us, I was the lucky one."
Rollers continued to ride the ocean breeze, pushing over her ankles. "She probably thought she was lucky, too."
"That's only because I was able to fool her."
"I doubt that."
"That's because I'm able to fool you, too."
She laughed. "I don't think so."
"You're just saying that because we're friends."
"You think we're friends?"
"Yeah," he said, holding her gaze. "Don't you?"
He could tell by her expression that the idea surprised her, but before she could answer, Kristen came splashing toward them, holding a fistful of seashells.
"Miss Katie!" she cried. "I found some really pretty ones!"
Katie bent lower. "Can you show me?"
Kristen held them out, dumping them into Katie's hand before turning toward Alex. "Hey, Daddy?" she asked. "Can we get the barbecue started? I'm really hungry."
"Sure, sweetie." He took a few steps down the beach, watching his son diving in and out of the waves. As Josh popped back up, Alex cupped his mouth. "Hey, Josh?" he shouted. "I'm going to start the coals, so why don't you come in for a while."
"Now?" Josh shouted back.
"Just for a little while."
Even from a distance, he saw his son's shoulders droop. Katie must have noticed it as well, because she was quick to speak up.
"I can stay down here if you want," she assured him.
"You sure?"
"Kristen's showing me her seashells," she said.
He nodded and turned back to Josh. "Miss Katie's going to watch you, okay? So don't go out too far!"
"I won't!" he said, grinning.
10
A little while later, Katie led a shivering Kristen and excited Josh back toward the blanket Alex had spread out earlier. The grill had been set up and the briquettes were already glowing white on the edges.
Alex unfolded the last of the beach chairs onto the blanket and watched them approach. "How was the water, guys?"
"Awesome!" Josh answered. His hair, partially dried, was pointing in every direction. "When's lunch?"
Alex checked the coals. "Give me about twenty minutes."
"Can me and Kristen go back to the water?"
"You just got out of the water. Why don't you take a break for a few minutes?"
"We don't want to swim. We want to build sand castles," he said.
Alex noted Kristen's chattering teeth. "Are you sure you want to do that? You're purple."
Kristen nodded vehemently. "I'm okay," she said shivering. "And we're supposed to build castles at the beach."
"All right. But let's throw shirts on you two. And stay right there where I can see you," he said, pointing.