He pried Pippy Longstockings off his arm and grabbed ahold of mine. Pulling me off to the side he leaned down and lowered his voice.
“What are you doing? Why are you making a scene like a crazy person? It’s a date. So, what? The guys at work set me up on a date and I went. I haven’t been dating and I’m not in a relationship with her or anyone. It was just dinner.”
I look over his shoulder at her. “She does not look like a just dinner type of woman, Brian.”
“I’ve gathered,” his words are clipped. “I’m taking her home and I won’t be seeing her again. I think you know me well enough to know she’s not my type. And I’m not out trying to get laid tonight. Dinner was all it was supposed to be and that’s all it is. I get lonely. I just wanted to have dinner with someone and have a nice, semi-normal night.”
I nearly shrank into myself. Suddenly, the realization of the scene I caused hit me and I just wanted to disappear.
“But that isn’t happening now, is it? You showing up here raving like a crazy person is far from normal.”
“I’m sorry. I’ll go. I don’t know what got into me. I saw you and her and I was consumed with anger. I still love you and I miss you.”
He let out an exasperated sigh.
I stepped in toward him. “Why can’t you have dinner with me when you’re lonely?”
The sad desperation in my voice was pathetic.
“Please, don’t. You know we can’t just go out and have dinner like nothing happened. And I don’t want to give you false hope for us. Can you understand that?”
Looking at him that night I saw it with crystal clarity. He simply wasn’t in love with me anymore. Sure, he loved me and always would, but that flame he once had that burned so hot for me wasn’t there. It had died along with our Willow.
“Why don’t you just say it, Brian? Say you’re not in love with me anymore. I need to hear you say the words.”
Right then his date appeared at his side. “Bridgette, can you give us a few more minutes please?”
Bridgette? Yep, she looked like a Bridgette.
“Okay, sure. Don’t be long, kay?” Her perky voice was like fingernails on a chalk board. I wanted to pull those cheap shoes off her feet and slap her with them.
“I don’t know, okay. I have no idea how I feel. Everything is so messed up in my head. I don’t know what I want. I’m trying hard to figure that out. I told you that day at the park I love you. Do I love you like I use to? No, I don’t. I’m sure if you were truly honest with yourself you’d realize you don’t love me the same either. When we lost her, we lost a lot more, too. As hard as it is to accept, our love story ended that day. It was also lost.”
I didn’t respond to him. I just turned and walked away. That’s the last time I spoke to him. Several weeks later he tried to call me and I didn’t answer. I know why he was calling. He didn’t leave a message and I never called him back. The only way I heard from him after that was through further issues from his attorney with the divorce. I started this story that night; the night he told me we were lost along with our Willow. I wish our story could have had a happy ending but unfortunately it doesn’t. Our story is that of love lost; a True Loss Story.
I close my laptop, tears streaming down my face. Their story is more than heartbreaking. It’s tragic. I get up and make my way to the bathroom and turn on the shower. It’s the middle of the night and I feel like I haven’t slept in days. Thoughts of Brisban and Dawn are ever present in my mind. I can’t imagine what they had to experience tonight. As soon as I shower I’m going to try and sleep. Maybe tomorrow I can think more clearly.
THE FAINT BUZZING OF MY cell tempts me out of my sleep. I roll over and groan at the light peering through the blinds. My eyes focus on the clock. It’s almost noon. I can’t believe I slept this late. I fumble around for my phone. It’s a number I don’t recognize but I answer anyway.
“Hello.”
“Candace? I’ve been calling all morning. Are you okay?”
I sit up in bed. “James?” I look at the number on the screen again.
“Yes, it’s me. Please don’t hang up.”
I breathe into the phone and drop my head. “What do you want James? I’ve had a long night and I don’t feel like going back and forth with you right now, okay?”
“I just called to tell you I saw your boyfriend here at the precinct last night. He was with his wife. Do you even know who you are sleeping with?”
“He’s divorced. Is this really what you called to tell me? You really are crazy, you know that? A simple bit of digging would’ve told you he’s not married anymore. What kind of police officer are you anyway?”