Lacey murmured something, but Mick couldn’t understand her.
“Okay, I’ll give her the pills and see if that brings it down. … Yeah, thanks, Maeve. Try to dig up her doctor’s number for me just in case it gets worse. They might have someone on-call. I’ll call you in an hour or so.” He set down the phone.
“Mick?”
“Yeah, baby. I’m right here.”
“I think I’m sick.”
Mick couldn’t help but smile a little. “Yes, honey, I think you are, too.”
“I should go home.”
“No way. I can take care of you.”
“But you have your dinner tonight with the Admiral.”
“Don’t worry about that right now. Let’s just get you better.”
“I should go home,” she repeated.
“It wouldn’t be good to expose Bess to this,” Mick said, knowing that might be the only thing that kept her here in his bed.
“Oh no. You’re right.” Lacey sighed, her limbs relaxing into the sheets again.
***
Mick stayed watch over her nearly every minute that day, listening to her quiet breathing.
He went downstairs to heat up some more chicken soup and dialed a number into his phone.
“Sir, it’s Mick Riley, Sir. I’m sorry to do this so last minute, Sir, but I’m afraid I’m going to have to cancel for tonight. … No, Sir, I’m fine, but my girlfriend woke up with a high fever. I wouldn’t feel right leaving her alone right now. … Many thanks for understanding, Sir. I hope the opportunity arises again soon. … Yes, Sir. I will give her your regards.” Mick laughed at something the Admiral said. “You’re absolutely right, as always, Sir.” He set down the phone and stirred the pot.
Hours passing, Mick grew restless. He had too much time to think, but couldn’t lose himself in a book and was too worried the TV would wake up Lacey. He didn’t want to leave her side.
He was more of an action guy, he decided, as he watched the sun drop lower in the sky.
Mick’s mind wandered to the simple statement the Admiral had made. “Better take good care of her while you’re stateside, so she’ll be waiting for you after you’ve been away.”
It was a nice idea, but just not possible. Deployments were hardest on the people you left behind. Mick knew that from seeing other couples and families suffer.
He couldn’t do that to her.
And how could staying together even be possible? Lacey’s place was here, where she was building a career and had the comfort of good friends.
It would nearly kill him to leave her one day. He knew that now. But if he loved her, that’s just what he should do.
One day, he wouldn’t be the one to nurse her back to health. Mick would be just a memory. Some other guy would be sitting here with her. Some other guy would be the one to celebrate each time a house sold.
Mick shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Some other guy would make love to her. Hold her hand as they brought a new life into the world. Grow old with her.
Mick was suddenly feeling sick himself.
He left the room, needing to breathe.
God, he loved her.
Leaning against the doorframe, he gazed at the framed commissioning certificate in the hallway trying to remind himself of what had been most important to him for more than a decade of his life. His eyes rested on the Naval Academy watermark behind the stylistic writing and the signature of the President of the United States at the bottom.
He looked at his own name printed on it, McMurphy Ryan, named for his mother’s maiden name because she had insisted, his father once told him. Mick wished he had known her better, had more than just fleeting memories of her. He wished he could remember the love his parents must have had for each other. Maybe then he’d better understand his feelings for Lacey. Love was unfamiliar ground for him.
Was it easier for civilians, he wondered? Or was it always this damn confusing?
Mick’s gaze wandered to a photo of the first ship he served on, surrounded by signatures of his shipmates. Then to a photo of SEAL Team Six before they left for his first deployment.
These were the images that should bring him comfort right now, as he tried to rebuild his SEAL career. But they didn’t.
Instead he found himself looking at the empty spaces on the wall and wishing he could fill them with photos of himself and Lacey. He wondered what she’d look like on her wedding day or holding a child in her arms.
Mick felt a tightness in his throat that was nearly unrecognizable to him.
He went downstairs and grabbed the newspaper off the coffee table and a beer from the fridge.
Looking around each room he passed, he noticed with a sense of disgust that everything he hung on his walls had something to do with the Navy. Even Jack had a photo of his sisters and their kids on his desk.