Chapter 1
Tyler
She was gone. I sniffed the baby’s hair and pretended not to feel anything as the others carried on with life as usual. I wish I knew what the fuck was wrong with me. I can handle life and death situations without batting a lash, and have on more than one occasion, but the whole dance with her was making me twitchy.
I thought I had taken care of that shit long ago. No way-no how, just wasn’t in the cards for me. But here lately, my resolve have been shaken more than once. And it was all because of one tiny little slip of a girl-woman.
Even the thought of her made me want, and for a man like me, that want was a bad fucking thing. This last time had been close-too close. She was getting to me in a big way, and there was no telling how long before my dog slipped his leash.
It was for her that I was holding on so tight to my control. The look in her eye that reflected the hunger in mine scared me for her. She had no idea what she was asking for-no idea of the hell that awaited her if I should give in.
I looked around at my family under cover of my lashes as the baby drooped on my chest. She’s another one, just wormed her way into my heart in a matter of seconds and had me wishing for things that I knew damn good and well could never be.
I enjoyed the warmth of her slight weight against my chest as she listened to the beat of my heart. I’ve been reading up on things since she came to us a few short days ago, and they say that that’s good for the little ones, make them feel safe or some shit. I’m here to make sure my niece always has that.
She was probably the closest thing I was ever gonna have to a kid of my own and I already loved her more than my own life; my little baby Zak. I held her a little closer and she sighed in her sleep as she cuddled.
Just a whiff of sadness left me at the thought that I might never have this, but I didn’t let it fester for long. I’ve long known what was to be. My beginnings had made damn sure that hearth and home were never to be in the works for me.
I felt the old familiar taste of bitterness threaten to manifest itself and battled it back. Fuck if I was taking that trip today, fuck that. At least my brothers weren’t cursed with the same shit and were busy making strides to turn our little haven into their own fucking village.
Place was going to be crawling with babies in the next year at the rate these fucks were going. Babies and women, and the big bad SEALs I had fought and bled with were putty in their hands.
I was always careful theses days not to let envy seep in and taint shit. It was no one’s fault that my life had to play out the way it did. This shit was set in motion long before I’d met the other men in this room. In fact they had added something I never expected to have in this life, family. For that I will be eternally grateful.
They were all happy as fuck and that made me feel good. It warmed me, made everything seem worth it to see them like this. Even as I missed her, missed what could’ve been and what never will be.
As much shit as I give my brothers about their pussy whipped ways, inside I was like a kid at a carnival. I’d spent the best and the worse times of my life with my brothers and they each to a man deserved the happiness that was even now so evident as they sat around gabbing about shit.
They were never more relaxed than they were at times like this, when my sisters were with us, gathered around the dinner table at somebody’s house. It was heart warming to see the looks on their faces, the way they were able to relax even with the shit that was brewing on the outside, it didn’t infiltrate here, we wouldn’t let it.
This is what it all comes down to, moments like these, and if I felt a little like the outcast looking in from the outside that was okay, I’ll keep watch, that was my job. To make sure that every man, woman, and child here was safe and stayed that way.
I listened in to what was going on around me as the baby snored lightly on my chest. The women as usual were on some shit about weddings and fittings and who the fuck knows.
Lo and Con with their bitch made, pussy whipped asses were hemming and hawing but we all knew short of wearing a dress they’d do whatever the fuck they were told and be happy about it.
I never thought I’d say this or even think it, but I was happy as fuck that they’d found their one and only. It showed me another side, a better side to the whole family dynamic. And even though I knew there was no hope for me, it was good to see them achieve it.
I’m not too sure about Cord and the one he had in his crosshairs though, poor kid. She might be the commander’s kid, she and her brother. I let my eyes go to the two of them as they seemed to fit in so effortlessly with the rest of us. Putting in their two cents worth and being heard.