I’m going to pass out.
I squeezed my eyes shut and forced myself to continue taking deep breaths. When the urge to faint passed, I focused on not vomiting. My stomach was churning and rolling, and there was a pain in my chest that I had never felt before in my life. It was a similar pain I felt when my parents died, but for some reason, it was much worse.
Ryder… he was cheating on me.
He was betraying me, and I had the proof, but I still couldn’t believe what was unfolding before my eyes. I didn’t understand it, and I didn’t want to. I just wanted to erase the image and sound of Ryder and the woman’s laughter. I didn’t want to think of him smiling because it reminded me so much of the smile he used to show me whenever he saw me.
Home, I told myself. I need to go home.
A strong woman would have confronted Ryder, and possibly run him over with his beloved car while the bitch he cheated with watched, but I wasn’t a strong woman. I was a shell of the woman I used to be, and what I just witnessed would stay with me forever.
I was broken.
I numbly retraced my steps back to Dominic’s car and when I got back inside the vehicle everything felt wrong. The silence was unbearable, but I didn’t want to hear anything else. My heart was slamming into my chest, and the pain I felt with each beat was the only reminder that I was still living, but surely there was more to living than feeling so dead inside?
The taste of sickening infidelity in my mouth urged me to start Dominic’s car. I quickly reversed until I came back to the main road where I switched my headlights back on and safely pulled onto it. I hated how I felt. I was numb to what I was experiencing, but yet my chest hurt. I couldn’t cry, but I knew that’s what the hurt I felt wanted me to do.
My body knew something was wrong, but my brain hadn’t reached the point where it was on the same wavelength. I understood what I saw and what it meant, but I didn’t feel any kind of way over it. I just couldn’t believe it was real.
I found myself laughing hysterically like a crazy person when I realised only hours before that Ryder asked me if I was cheating on him, when it fact, he was the cheater.
Him.
I drove Dominic’s car back to his and Bronagh’s house. I didn’t know why, but I completely bypassed my house and just went to theirs. I parked behind Kane and Alec’s cars and I was glad to see that they were there. I didn’t want anyone around me right now, and when I went back to my house, I wanted to be there on my own.
I quietly made my way up the pathway to Dominic and Bronagh’s front door. I heard the cry of a baby and chatter of men. I distinctively heard Damien saying Dominic’s name, too, which meant they were no longer at my house. When they realised I was gone with Dominic’s car, this was obviously the first place they checked for me.
Before any of them could come outside and catch me, I quietly put the car keys inside their letterbox without them knowing. In a daze I walked back to my house and was fully aware that the numbness I felt would soon fade and agonising pain would fill me, but until that happened, I intended to go home and pack my belongings together.
I needed to get out before Ryder came back. I wasn’t strong enjoy to face him, and I feared I’d do something dangerous if he lied to my face when I saw with my own eyes that he was with another woman.
Ryder is cheating on me.
I unlocked my front door and stepped into my house. I closed the door behind me and looked down to my pocket when my phone vibrated, and as if someone else controlled me, I slipped my hand into my pocket, and without looking at who was calling me, I answered the phone and placed it against my ear.
“Hello?”
“Branna?” Ash chirped. “Hey Angel, do you have a minute? I’m telling my sister about the code red we had today and I forget what our response time was. Was it ninety-one seconds, or ninety-five?”
“Ninety-one,” I replied without hesitation, my tone flat.
“Bran?” Ash said. “Are you okay, hon?”
“No, Ash.”
“What’s wrong?” Ash asked and I heard him moving about.
“Ryder,” I blinked. “He’s cheatin’ on me.”
“Oh, fuck,” Ash hissed. “I’ll kill him!”
I didn’t reply, instead I walked down the hallway and into the kitchen.
“Where are you?” Ash demanded. “I’ll be right there!”
“I’m in me house, I just walked in—”
“Hello, Branna.”
I swirled around at the unknown voice that cut me off and stared into the dark room. I was too far away from reaching the light switch without moving, and I couldn’t move even if I tried. My legs had locked when I heard the voice of a strange man and fear broke through my numbness and shot through me.