I couldn’t take them talking as if I wasn’t in the room.
“Bronagh, calm yourself down right now,” I demanded. “This isn’t good for you, or the baby. Relax, dammit.”
My sister turned away from Ryder, and looked at me.
“I’m goin’ home so he can fix this.”
She knew nothing between Ryder and myself was fixable, especially after the conversation we just had, but to avoid piling more stress on her, and to remove her from Ryder’s presence, I didn’t protest to her leaving.
“Bee,” Ryder said. “I’ll make this right.”
She ignored him and to me she said, “I’ll call you later, but if you need me for anythin’ before you hear from me, pick up the phone and I’ll be here.”
She turned and stalked—or waddled—out of the room, then out of the house, slamming the door behind her.
“She hates me.” Ryder said with his shoulders slumped.
Comforting him was the last thing I should have thought about doing, but breaking up or not, this man meant everything to me, and I couldn’t stand to see him hurting. That knowledge hurt me because as much as I told myself I didn’t love this version of him, I knew it wasn’t true. I was in love with Ryder in any way I could have him, that was how deeply I felt for him.
“She doesn’t hate you,” I murmured. “‘er hormones are all over the place, and she’s just upset because I’m upset. Don’t worry about it, she’ll be speakin’ to you by tomorrow.”
“Why do you do that?” Ryder asked, looking at me with an expression I couldn’t read.
I was stumped.
“Do what?” I asked.
“You’re trying to make me feel better about Bronagh because I said she hates me. You’re trying to save me from being hurt when you’re furious with me.”
I gnawed on my inner cheek. “Bronagh says I do it to ‘er because I’m protectin’ ‘er. Maybe I’m doin’ the same for you, too.”
Ryder stepped towards me. “I’m sorry for what I said to you earlier.”
I straightened.
“You hurt me,” I said. “Accusin’ me of cheatin’ on you was somethin’ I never thought you would ever say to me.”
Another step.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it. I just pictured this Ash person touching you, and I got so angry that I lashed out at you.”
I shrugged. “I’m used to you lashin’ out at me.”
Ryder looked like I slapped him across the face.
“Please, don’t say that,” his voice low.
I licked my dry lips.
“I bruise you and you bruise me. That’s how things are between us now.”
Ryder’s eyes searched mine, and what he saw caused his head to drop.
“I don’t know how we’ve gotten here, Branna.”
My heart began to pound against my chest.
“Me either.”
Ryder swallowed. “I think… I think we should talk.”
I did too, and it killed me because I didn’t want to say what needed to be said, but I had to. For both of our sakes, I had to.
“Yeah, we do.”
Ryder leaned his shoulder against the wall. “I have a feeling the outcome is going to break me, am I right?”
Break him? I thought. Him?
I stared. “I don’t know, it depends on how you take what I have to say.”
He set his jaw. “Say it.”
This was it.
“I think you know what I’m goin’ to say.”
He nodded. “I think I do, too, but I want to hear you say it.”
My palms became sticky with sweat.
“I can’t do this anymore, Ryder.”
“Say it, Branna.”
I was always Branna or Bran now, never Sweetness, and it was pathetic how much I missed that term of endearment. The tears that sat on the brim of my eyes finally spilled over and splashed onto my cheeks. Pain pulsed in my chest. This was really it. This was the end of us.
“You feel the same way I do, I know you do.” I sniffled, quickly wiping away my tears. “We don’t make each other happy anymore.”
He pushed away from the wall and stepped towards me.
“Say. It.”
I began to sob. “I don’t know what else you want me to say!”
“Say the fucking words.” He demanded. “If you’re going to break up with me you have to say it out loud, I want to hear you say it.”
I swallowed and looked down at the floor, then with a heavy heart I said, “Ryder… I’m… I’m breakin’ up with you.”
“No.”
I looked up at him and blinked with confusion. “What do you me-mean no?”
“We aren’t breaking up,” he stated, his face red. “We aren’t giving up just because shit has gotten hard, we’re going to fight.”