Ruthlessly Bedded Forcibly Wedded(34)

She made a protesting noise but his hands gripped hers tighter. ‘It was.

And then there was—’ He broke off for a moment, and when he spoke again his voice sounded rough, his accent more pronounced. ‘The miscarriage… We lost a baby because of my sheer bloody-mindedness.’



Cara was starting to feel slightly breathless and panicky. ‘Vicenzo, you can’t say that—don’t think that. It wasn’t your fault.’



A look of unmistakable pain crossed his face. ‘I have to let you go, Cara.

I can’t keep you here and I should never have brought you here. I’m so sorry that I brought even more heartache into your life…the baby.’



Cara couldn’t breathe. She pulled her hands from Vicenzo’s and stood up.

She knew rationally she should be rejoicing, but she felt as if she was dying. She backed away behind the chair. And in her pathetic weakness she latched onto something.



‘But the debt. I still owe Cormac’s debt.’



Vicenzo stood too, arms by his sides. ‘The debt is gone. Paid.’



She shook her head, twisting her hands. ‘No. I won’t allow you to cover for him.’



Vicenzo was shaking his head too. ‘It’s gone, Cara. It doesn’t exist any more—nowhere, not even on paper. You were as much a victim of your brother as my sister was. I’m doing this for you, and in her memory. She wouldn’t want that for you and neither do I.’



‘But…’ She struggled to take in the enormity of the fact that he wanted her to go, and the fact that she couldn’t feel happy at the prospect of her freedom.



Then, as if reading her mind, Vicenzo said, ‘You have your freedom now, Cara. You can go home, look for work. I’ve already made arrangements to buy you an apartment in Dublin to help you get started. I can secure you a job too.’



Bile rose in Cara’s throat. ‘No. You don’t have to do that.’ The thought of him setting her up was too much. Tears stung her eyes and she blinked them back furiously.



He nodded. ‘Yes I do.’



A curious stillness came into the room around them. It made Cara hold her tongue.



And then Vicenzo said quietly, holding her gaze, ‘It’s the least I can do for the woman I love, who I’ve hurt so much.’





CHAPTER FOURTEEN


CARA’S heart stopped. Time stood still. ‘What did you say?’



Vicenzo was as still as a statue. ‘I said that it’s the least I can do for the woman I love.’



‘You don’t…’ Cara was shaking her head, feeling as if the whole world was starting to crumble around her.



‘I do. I’ve fallen in love with you. I nearly fell apart yesterday. Within two months of looking into your eyes for the first time all my precious defenses were shot to pieces. I had a ring on your finger and you locked away as my pregnant bride.’



‘But that was just because of the baby, the press…’ Cara breathed. She couldn’t believe it. She simply couldn’t believe it. She had to reiterate what she knew to be true. Wasn’t it?



Vicenzo smiled tightly and read her mind. ‘Was it? From the moment I walked away from you that morning I couldn’t get you out of my head. I would have found some excuse to go back to you.’ His smile faded. ‘I have no right to keep you here when all you’ve ever wanted and deserved is your freedom. I will not be a tyrant and keep you trapped like your brother did to you in London, by denying you your economic freedom.

You have the power in your hands to exact the worst vengeance on me, Cara…if you walk away.’



His mouth twisted. ‘I just thought it only fair to tell you—so that it can give you some measure of satisfaction. But if you could find it in your heart to stay and give this marriage a chance then…you would make me the happiest man alive. I don’t delude myself for a second to think that you could possibly love me after everything I’ve put you through.’



Everything they’d been through seemed to flash through Cara’s mind, like her life flashing before her eyes. She searched his face for some sign…but he was holding himself so rigidly. If he was to stride over to her and take her into his arms then she might believe…but it was too much.



She didn’t doubt that he felt guilty about the baby, was blaming himself for doubting her. But how could she survive going into his arms now, only to have him tire of her after a few weeks or months and seek to get the marriage dissolved when the novelty wore off? He’d been a playboy until he met her. They’d simply gone through an extraordinarily dramatic set of circumstances and suffered mutual loss and grief.



So she shook her head. As she did she saw Vicenzo’s face darken and close in, but she assured herself she was making the right choice—even though it felt like anything but the right choice. She felt curiously numb.



‘You’re right. All I’ve ever wanted is to be free. And if you’re willing to let me go now…I’d like to go.’ Her heart constricted painfully, but she told herself she was just protecting herself. She wouldn’t be able to endure more heartache than this, and if she stayed heartache was certain.



Everything about Vicenzo was stiff and unyielding. ‘Of course. If that is your wish. Tommaso will take you to the airport in an hour. I can arrange for your things to be packed up and sent to your new place. I’ll leave it to you to decide what to do about our marriage.’



Cara opened her mouth but he put up a hand. ‘I’ve destroyed the prenuptial agreement, so if you do decide you’d like to separate you’ll be well looked after. And needless to say you’ll have access to funds in the meantime. I would just ask that you consider what you want before making a final decision.’



If she’d needed a sign then this was it. He wasn’t even trying too hard to persuade her to change her mind. Cara couldn’t articulate anything anyway, so she just nodded jerkily. And then, before she could break in two, she turned and walked out of the study.



An hour later she waited on the steps by the front door. Tommaso had gone to get the Jeep. Her heart felt as if ice had been packed around it.

She heard a sound behind her and whirled around. If it was Vicenzo—But it was Silvio, and immediately she felt devastated.



‘I’m sorry,’ she blurted out, tears pricking her eyes. That treacherous ice was melting.



He came to a stop beside her and looked up with kind, shrewd eyes.

‘What for? You have to do what you have to do.’



‘Thank you for understanding.’





Tommaso pulled the Jeep around and Cara bent to kiss Silvio on both cheeks. He caught her hand just as she would have turned away and said huskily, ‘I don’t think you realize, Cara, Vicenzo hadn’t been back to this house since he left home at the age of seventeen. And yet he brought you here, because I think he knew that for the first time he was willing to risk his heart again.’



Shock coursed through Cara. No, she wanted to say, he only brought me here so that he could make sure I didn’t cause trouble. And yet… She heard Tommaso open the door of the Jeep behind her, take her small case from her feet.



The pull to give in was nearly overwhelming—to go back, to ask Vicenzo… But she had to be strong. If she went back he might seduce her into staying, but eventually it would amount to the same ending. A worse heartbreak than she could ever imagine.



Her mouth wobbled. She had to leave. Now. ‘I’m sorry, Silvio.’



He just nodded and pulled back in his wheelchair. Cara got into the Jeep and turned her head, so he wouldn’t see her tears as they moved away.



By the time they were pulling in to the airport, and Tommaso was handing her yet another tissue, Cara had to finally concede that if she even made it onto the small plane waiting on the tarmac her heart would be so broken into tiny pieces that anything in comparison had to be better.



When she apologized and asked Tommaso to turn around he didn’t look surprised. And when she asked him to stop in Tharros, and she emerged from a small boutique dressed in a simple white sundress sprigged with small daisies, he didn’t say a word.



The villa was silent when they returned, and she could see what Silvio had meant about there not having been happiness here for a long time.

She made a silent vow to do her best to change that—but first…



She took a deep breath outside Vicenzo’s study and opened the door. He was standing at the window, hands in his pockets. Every line in his body so tense and proud. She saw an opened bottle of whisky on the table and an empty glass. And then he turned around, and she almost flinched at the look on his face. His eyes were bloodshot, and in that instant she knew that there was infinitely more between them than just the events that had brought them together.



Vicenzo saw Cara standing there, in a plain white dress and bare feet, her hair down. It was a mirage. It had to be. Especially as she wasn’t wearing that awful black. She looked like an angel. She couldn’t be real.



And then she was walking towards him, lifting herself up on tiptoe to put her arms around his neck and say, ‘I’m sorry for walking away…but I was afraid—so afraid that all you felt was guilt and a duty to let me go…