I suppose I hoped I could hang around while he got dressed. I pictured myself watching him shower through a steamy glass door, but he has Eliza arrange for a car to take me back to Allston before he heads upstairs to get dressed. I don’t want to admit that it feels a bit like a dismissal but…maybe a little.
He holds my face and kisses me again before he goes. “I’ll call you. Okay?”
I nod okay. Yes, call me, I think. Please call me.
When I get home to my terrace-sized studio apartment, I certainly see my surroundings in a whole new light. As I stand in Jackson’s oversized clothes, my heels and dress in one hand, I wonder if I’m out of my mind. The worlds that we come from and live in could not be more different. I never thought of my studio as such a hobble but now he’s got me thinking I’m living the slum life. He doesn’t seem to get that living alone in something like an eight-thousand square foot house is ludicrous, a complete waste of space. Even if we did live together—and I know we never would, but I’m just thinking—that if we did we’d probably never see each other. I’d be too busy getting lost in that big house while he would be too busy with work, making more deals and putting out more fires.
I wonder what interests him besides work? Food, I learned that. But he has no one to cook for. My mind can’t help but wonder if he’s made breakfast for other women like he did for me. I hate the thought. I hate that it enters my mind.
As I shower and get ready for the day, I hope that Jackson doesn’t disappear like he did last time. Last night was far different from the restaurant, deeper and more intense. He can’t blow me off again. Despite being polar opposites, I really want to see him again.
The words had formed on my lips after our pre-breakfast tryst but I swallowed them down. What I wanted to say was, I love you. Or at the very least, I’m falling in love with you. Because against better judgment, that is what’s happening to me.
So, yeah. I really hope he calls.
Jackson
“Jackson, does that work for you?”
I turn and look at the conference room full of people staring back at me. I’d been staring out at the rain falling over the harbor, thinking about Emily. Maybe when clear skies come back I could take her out on the boat for a couple of days. Being alone in the sea with Emily where no one can reach sounds perfect. Except first I have to get through these meetings. Five, back to back, all day.
“Should Deon contact Melissa and arrange the meeting? Or did you want to reach out to her directly?”
“Deon, you can contact her,” I say to Deon, as if I’ve been paying close attention this whole time. The looks I’m getting from around the room say they know better. “Let Sandra know when it’s set up. We’ll do a lunch meeting, keep it casual. Anything else?”
When the meeting ends, the first thing I do when I get back to my office is send a text to Emily. It’s been a few days since I last saw her. I had to spend the weekend working out the crisis that came up, but this time I made sure to call her after our incredible night. It was late on Friday night, but I figured she wouldn’t mind.
“Did I wake up?” I asked when she answered, her voice soft and quiet. The thought of her in bed instantly made me crazy.
“No,” she’d said. “I was just studying.”
“Liar.”
She laughed softly. “Okay, I was sleeping. At eleven on a Friday night. How lame am I?”
“I’m at the office on Friday night,” I’d said. “I think I’m worse.”
“You are for sure,” she’d said. She let out a big yawn, and I could just imagine her stretching her body out like a cat. I thought, If I get in my car now, I could be there in fifteen minutes. But I still had work to do.
“I don’t want to keep you up,” I said. “I just wanted to say hello and…last night was incredible.”
She laughed again and I wished I could watch her lips curl as she did. Next time I should really call her on video. “Yeah, last night was probably…I don’t know…”
“What?” I’d said. She was getting shy again. I loved it when she got shy. “Tell me what you were going to say.”
“Just that I agree. Last night was incredible.”
“That’s not what you were going to say.”
She sighed. “Fine. I was going to say that last night was probably the most incredible night I’ve ever spent in my life. Happy?”
“Yes, actually. I am happy.” Very happy. Perhaps the happiest I’d ever been. I didn’t want to tell her that, not yet anyway. I still needed to keep my wits about me but I couldn’t deny that she made me feel like nothing mattered but us. When I’m with Emily, Emily is all that matters. “I want to see you again.”