“No seriously, Tina,” repeated my sister. “Who’s the father? Mom says you haven’t told her either and no one has seen you around campus with a guy. Seriously Teen, fess up. Did you go with artificial insemination? Did you go through a database of donors and select a profile you liked? Was he cute?” she said conspiratorially.
I had to laugh at that one. That would be the last thing on my mind, to use donor sperm. But I was unusually charitable towards my sister because she had no inkling of the truth … which was that her fiancé was the father of my baby, through natural methods, no test tubes necessary, thank you very much.
And as far as I knew, Jake and Jenna were still engaged to be married. I certainly hadn’t contacted him after our fateful meeting at the Sterling offices, instead deleting his contact info from my phone and trying not to think about him, if possible. Whenever I did, images of his dark visage, those penetrating blue eyes made my insides grow moist to my chagrin. I was supposed to be detaching from this man, not fantasizing about him!
Nor had I bothered to enlighten my sister. There was no point. Jake and I were never going to see each other again, and the fact that I was going to have his baby was my secret to keep. He was in my past, this dark, ruthless man who had upended my world, and I just wanted to move on, especially since I’d found a makeshift peace.
Besides, I had no reason to believe Jake had broken off the engagement. Jenna chattered non-stop about her upcoming nuptials with “Jake this, Jake that, my diamond this, my wedding dress that,” and I could tell she was quickly alienating any so-called friends, her narcissism boundless, a bridezilla for the ages. Sure, there were girls who simpered when Jenna spoke, but it was in the hopes of meeting a millionaire at her wedding. Those poor women, they made me sad and I shook my head at how backwards some people still were.
I swallowed firmly, getting myself in hand. I had made these choices, an empowered woman of the ages, to bring a baby into the world on my own. I had a burgeoning career, a new life in a new town, and I’d already made it known that I wasn’t going to be at Jenna’s wedding.
“Why not?” she’d asked suspiciously. “I swear, you’re so self-centered, Teen. It’s not like I’m going to pick ugly bridesmaids dresses, I mean you won’t look great with a huge stomach, but whatevs … all eyes will be on me,” she said, shrugging.
“It just wouldn’t be right, me with this giant pregnant belly,” I’d said firmly.
“Fine, have it your way,” she flounced. “Matt Sterling asked about you by the way. He wanted to know why you haven’t been around lately.”
Ah Matt, the country charmer. I missed him, his genuine warmth, the way he sensed instinctively my tense family relationships. “Just tell him I’ve been busy with school,” I said quietly. I couldn’t bring myself to say any more because Matt must have been part of the Pernacular scheme, jacking up the price of a precious medication and putting pregnant women at risk.
Shaking myself of the reverie, I sat up straighter in the waiting room’s hard plastic chair. Was it my imagination or had someone just called my name? Ah Pink Scrubs was back, barking, “Walsh. Tina Walsh.”
“Me, I’m here,” I started, bolting upright. I rushed over to where she stood, hoping I looked better than I felt, like a competent adult able to make difficult decisions. The nurse spun on her heel, and I sighed and followed, my mind too numb to process anything.
I was led to a private room, where the ER pediatrician and another doctor were waiting. There was no examination table, merely a conference room with some chairs, one of those x-ray boards behind them. Hopefully, we weren’t going to have to use it.#p#分页标题#e#
But both doctors had serious expressions of their faces and my nerves screamed high alert when the pediatrician made sure to close the door firmly after the nurse left.
“Ms. Walsh,” she began seriously, her face somber but kind. “Please let me introduce my colleague Dr. Conwell,” she said, nodding to the elderly man beside her. “We may as well dive right into it. Dr. Conwell is a pediatric oncologist, specializing in the treatment of children with cancer. Is there a history of cancer in your family?”
“C-c-cancer?” I asked. “No, why?” I rushed. “Is Janie okay? Where is she?” I asked frantically, looking around.
“Your baby is in the NICU still,” said Dr. Conwell gravely. “But we ask because it appears that Janie has a particularly aggressive strain of leukemia which likely manifested when she was still in the womb. Did you go to any third world countries when you were pregnant? Did you ingest anything suspicious like tropical fruits, meat that wasn’t fully cooked, even herbal medicines?”