Baggage and all.
Life with Ares is amazing. I'm loving every second of it.
My relationship with my dad is also better than it was. I'm not going to say it's fixed because it's not. But it's better.
I'm still going to AA regularly. I still see Luke.
But I haven't had to call him since that one episode in the bar.
The urge to drink will always be there.
But, now, I have more in my life to lose, and it makes me work harder to never drink again.
That is why I feel confident, going alone to this silent charity auction, which my dad asked me to attend on his behalf because the team is at an away game-meaning Ares is away. If I wasn't here, I'd only be sitting at home, missing him. At least this keeps me busy and kills the hours until he's home tomorrow.
The auction is to help raise money for a children's cancer charity. The team has donated a bunch of signed memorabilia, and my dad has also asked me to make a purchase on his behalf. Mary usually comes to these things for my dad, but she couldn't make it tonight, so he asked me, and it felt good that he believed I could come here alone, where alcohol would be served.
It's a good test for me, too.
Only thing is, I haven't managed to make it to the bar yet.
It's not that I think I'm going to go over there and buy all the alcohol.
But it's just been so long since I walked up to a bar, and it just feels weird.
"Hey, Arianna."
I turn and see Leo Parsons, the sports journalist.
"Hi … Leo," I say, surprised to see him.
The last time I saw him was, well, a tad awkward and also the night when Ares and I had that huge fight, which resulted in him walking out on me.
Not that it was any of Leo's fault, of course. I just feel a bit weird because I told Leo that Ares and I weren't together. And, now, everyone knows Ares and I are dating. There've been the news stories about Ares dating me, the coach's bad-girl daughter. How my dad has a big problem with us dating, which he doesn't. All the speculating that the media likes to do. But, overall, it's not been too awful. And, after the initial interest in Ares's and my private life, it has died down.
Leaving Ares and me to get on with our relationship, which couldn't be better.
"How are you?" I ask.
"Good. You here representing?" he asks.
"Yeah, my dad asked me to come on his behalf. What about you?"
"It's filled to the rafters with sports personalities. ASN wanted me to come cover it-see who bids on what and how much."
"Sounds … newsworthy."
He shrugs. "It's the kind of shit people want to know. How much a celebrity is willing to bid for charity. Gossip sells. Even in sports."
"True." I sigh.
"I saw the stories about you and Kincaid … "
"Yeah … I'm sorry I wasn't honest that night. It was just … my dad didn't know, and-"
"You don't have to explain it to me." He kindly waves me off.
I smile. A beat of silence passes between us.
"Do you want a drink?" He nods at my empty hands. "I was just on my way to the bar."
"Um … "
"Nonalcoholic. I'm the same as you, remember?"
"Yeah, of course," I say, a little embarrassed. "That'd be great. Actually, you know what? I'll come with you," I add, feeling a little braver, going with someone.
"I'm taking it, you haven't been near the bar since you got here?" he says.
I shake my head, biting my lip.
"Don't put yourself through it then. I'm used to it. But it takes time. I'll go."
"Thank you. That's really kind of you."
He shrugs. "So, what nonalcoholic beverage can I get you?" he says with a flourish.
I laugh. "Sparkling water's fine."
He pulls a comedic face. "No way! Why don't you go wild and join me for a Coke? Diet, of course."
I laugh again. "Okay. A Diet Coke would be great. Thanks."
I watch him walk away in the direction of the bar, and then I turn back to the room.
I get my cell from my purse and check it. There's a text from Ares. He must have just sent it before they went on the field.
I'm so proud of you, going there alone tonight, babe. You're amazing. Love you. See you tomorrow. xx
Smiling, I tap back a reply.
I'm proud of me, too. Have a great game. Love you, too. Can't wait to see you! xx
I open the NFL app on my phone to check the score. Giants are winning.
"You look happy." Leo appears beside me.
He holds out my Diet Coke, and I take it from him.
"Thanks. Giants are winning," I tell him, and he smiles.
I close down the app and put my cell away. I have a drink of my Coke.
I wince. It tastes a bit bitter.
"Everything okay?" Leo asks.
"Yeah, my Coke just tastes a bit … iffy."
He frowns and then takes a sip of his own Coke. He pulls a face. "Yeah, it's not great. Must be cheap Coke instead of the real stuff. You want me to get you a different drink?" He holds his hand out for my glass.
"No, it's fine." I smile, waving him off. I feel bad that he went to get me a drink, and I'm complaining about it. I take another sip. It's actually not too bad the second time, so it must've been me. "It's actually not too bad," I tell him, "once you get used to it."
He sips his own drink, trying it again. "Yeah"-he smiles at me over the rim of his glass-"I think you're right."
I take another sip and hold the glass to my chest. "So, I know you're working, but are you going to bid on anything?"
He shakes his head, an uncomfortable smile on his face. "No … I think the items are going to be a bit out of my price range."
"Mine, too," I tell him, and his smile relaxes. "But my dad asked me to put a bid in for him. My choice."
"Spending the 'rent's money. Always a bonus." He chuckles.
I laugh, too, but I don't actually agree with the statement. I hate spending my dad's money. I hate that I still owe him so much money. I'm only comfortable doing this because I'm buying this for him. I wouldn't be comfortable with taking his money and buying something for myself.
"Have you had a look at the auction items yet?"
I shake my head, having another sip of my drink.
"You want to look around with me?" he asks. "I can check out the bid lists while you browse the items."
"Okay." I smile. "But you have to promise one thing."
He gives me a speculative look. "What's that?"
"Keep my bid out of your story."
He gives me a mock-affronted look, pressing his hand to his chest. "As if I'd put you in my story. We're friends … right?"
"Right." I smile at him before having another sip of my drink.
Leo has just wandered off to go chat with a friend he just spotted. I've put a bid in for my dad on a Yankees shirt signed by the whole team. My dad might be football for life, but he's also a Yankees fan.
I'm leaning against the wall, people-watching, holding my half-drunk, now-warm glass of Coke.
I get my cell from my purse to check the scores again. It's thirty-eight to seven. Only ten minutes left … meaning another victory.
Go, baby!
I slip my cell back in my purse, knowing how happy Ares is going to be with this win.
Then, I feel myself sway.
I press a hand to the wall, steadying myself. I lift my eyes out to the room, and my vision goes hazy.
I don't feel right.
I hope I'm not coming down with something.
I move away from the wall and wobble unsteadily, making my way to the restroom.
The stalls are empty. I put my purse and glass down on the counter by the sink and feel my body sway again, my head feeling light. I grip the edge.
Something's not right.
I stare down at my glass of Coke.
It doesn't have alcohol in it … does it? Surely not.
Leo knows I can't drink.
I pick the glass up with one hand, holding steady on the counter with the other. I hold the glass to my nose, sniffing the Coke.
No, definitely no alcohol in there. I'd know.
I put the glass down with a harsh clang, like I don't have proper control over my hand. I stare at my hand, and there's a tremor to it. I look up at myself in the mirror. My eyes are hazy, and my pupils are dilated, like I'm drunk.
God, no.
I turn on the faucet. Cupping my hands under the water, I lean forward to splash water on my face, but I stumble and bang my elbow on the sink.
"Fuck … " My word comes out slurred.
I sound drunk.
What is happening to me right now?
I grab my purse and stumble out of the restroom. I hold the wall as I walk for support, getting looks from people passing me on the way to the restroom.
I'm starting to panic.
I don't know what's happening.
Should I look for Leo? He might be able to help me.
I stumble back into the room, looking for him, but my eyes can't focus properly.