“I’m sure the contract seems…extreme…to you,” he began. “Even cold. Heartless. Domineering. It probably makes me a huge asshole. There are a lot of words that come to mind.”
She didn’t respond, but he could see the knowledge in her eyes. There was no quick denial. No attempt to make him feel better, and he liked that about her. But there was no judgment either. Just…curiosity.
“Lisa and I shared a relationship in which I had complete control. I don’t want to delve into the whys and wherefores. Some things just are. It was—is—a need that I have. I don’t have some traumatic childhood that makes me the way I am. No emotional instability. It’s a kink, but more than that, it’s who I am. I can’t change that for anyone. I don’t want to change. I’m comfortable with who I am and what I want and need.”
She nodded. “I get that.”
“I don’t know why she left. Maybe I no longer satisfied her. Maybe she no longer wanted the kind of relationship we shared. Hell, maybe she only agreed in an effort to make me happy. Maybe she was never truly happy. I don’t know. At this point I don’t care. But when she left, she made a lot of baseless accusations. She crucified me in divorce court and to the media. She told anyone who would listen that I abused her and my power over her. She painted the relationship as nonconsensual, which was bullshit, because I let her know from day one what my expectations and needs were. I was very careful that she went into our relationship and marriage with her eyes wide open.”
Mia’s eyes became troubled and instantly on the heels came a look of sympathy. He hated that. He didn’t need anyone’s pity. It wasn’t why he was spilling his guts in some sappy, postcoital, snugly moment. He just wanted Mia to understand.
“If that kind of relationship no longer worked for her I wouldn’t have held that against her. All she had to do was be honest and say she wanted out. I would have provided generously for her. I would have supported her decision. Instead, she went on the attack and painted me as some abusive monster. That I’ll never forgive. I learned a very hard lesson with my marriage to her. I never went into another relationship without means of protecting myself from those kinds of accusations. It may be viewed as extreme, but I don’t enter into a single relationship without signed, detailed contracts. I don’t do one-night stands. I don’t have casual sex. If a woman is going to be in my bed, she has all the facts and she’s signed a contract that protects both of us.”
“Maybe she needed to convince herself that you were this terrible person in order for her to be able to leave,” Mia said softly. “I can’t imagine walking out on a marriage is ever easy.”
Gabe snorted. “Tell that to my dad. You’re naïve, Mia. Sweet, but naïve. People walk out of marriages every day. I’ve always wondered what makes someone wake up one morning and say, ‘Hey, this is the day I’m going to ditch my husband or wife.’ Loyalty should count for something. Nobody wants to work it out nowadays. It’s too easy to get a divorce lawyer and move on.”
She put her hand on his chest, the gesture infinitely soothing. He liked her touching him. God help him, but he wasn’t sure he’d ever get enough. He’d take and take from Mia until there was nothing left. Until she became a Lisa and could endure it no longer. He never wanted another woman to feel as Lisa had evidently felt. It was far better to take his pleasure and move on. The very thing he accused Lisa and his father of. Maybe he was no better than they were after all.
“Not everyone will betray you, Gabe,” she said quietly. “There are many who are loyal to you. You can’t control everything. You can’t control how someone feels about you. Or what makes them tick. You can only control how you react, how you act, how you think and feel.”
“You’re amazingly wise for someone as young as you are,” he said wryly. “Why do I just feel like I’ve been schooled by someone fourteen years younger than me?”
She leaned over, surprising him with her kiss. Her lips lingered over his, warm and so damn sweet. Her bare breasts brushed over his chest, and God help him, his dick hardened instantly.
“You’re too hung up on this age thing,” she murmured. “Maybe I’m just smart.”
He chuckled and then claimed her lips again, his body already revving to life now that she was pressed against him again. But she hesitated and pushed back against him, her face going serious. He didn’t like that. He wanted her next to him, but it was clear she had one more thing she wanted to get off her chest.